We all want to fall in love, it’s natural. But before you take the leap, make sure you know your partner well enough to be certain he’s truly the one you want.
1. What’s really going on with his exes?
No, I don’t mean stalk them on Facebook.
Listen to what he says about them when they come up in conversation. Are they all “crazy?” Are any of them trying to get in touch with you or, even worse, still calling him constantly?
If so, that’s a major red flag.
2. How hard is he trying?
Is he courting you? Making you feel special? Trying his best to make you smile? Or does he make you feel amazing one day and then blow you off the next?
It’s rare that someone is truly too busy to send a text, so if he starts throwing that excuse around before you’re even officially together there’s a good chance that things will only get worse.
3. Does he treat his mother well?
Does he respect her? Is he helpful and loving?
Any man who doesn’t respect his own mother, the woman who gave him life, is a man who’ll never respect you. If he blatantly disrespects his mama, get out asap and consider him a dodged bullet.
4. What’s he like when he’s angry?
Pay attention to how he acts towards you when he’s frustrated. Does he punch walls or break things? Does he stop talking to you for a few days?
The signs of abuse are always right there in front of your face, you just have to be willing to catch them. Make sure you’re on guard so you can spot them before it’s too late.
5. Do you agree on commitment?
Do his expectations meet yours? Be sure to discuss what you both want from the relationship so you can decide if you’ll be satisfied with it.
6. Is he able to deal with your busy schedule?
While it’s great to talk to each other and hang out often, don’t give up on your friends.
How does he respond when you’re busy? Does he blow your phone up constantly? Clingy men tend to also be very jealous and that’s not something you have time for.
7. What does his big picture look like?
Find out what his goals are, both in life and in a relationship. Does he want kids? Is he still holding on to those childhood dreams of being an astronaut despite not putting any effort into learning how?
Sometimes you fall in love with a guy who doesn’t have much and that’s totally okay. But don’t allow yourself, the ambitious go-getter, to settle for someone with no determination. It’ll only cause problems.
8. Is he willing to work to be involved in your life?
Make sure he asks you how you’re feeling and what you need. If he doesn’t care enough to do it now, he’s not going to bother down the road.
Look at how he reacts after you tell him something that’s going wrong. If he makes an honest attempt to help, that’s a great sign. If he doesn’t? Well, at least you found out sooner rather than later.
9. Are you two actually compatible or is there just a spark?
If you’re constantly clashing over the smallest things, don’t try to push a commitment. Who wants to be stuck in a relationship full of arguments?
Observe how the two of you work together. If it feels anything but easy, which it should be in the beginning, walk away before you get in too deep.
Any relationship that starts off rough is likely to end up even worse.
10. Is he a liar?
If you start catching him in lies already, don’t waste your time. Save yourself the heartache.
You are beautiful and amazing. If this guy is truly the one for you that’s fantastic, but it’s not the end of the world if he isn’t. Don’t try to find a relationship just for the sake of having one.
Love yourself enough to be picky; you have that right.
