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10 Things You Only Say While Shopping With your BFF

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There’s nothing like a good retail therapy sesh with your bestie: 

1. That is so you. You scour the racks hoping to find something, anything that will make your day – and you find it. The perfect thing. You hold it up for your BFF and hope they’ll say those four magical words. It’s the ultimate approval. It says, That is going to look so bomb on you and I know it without you even trying it on first. It literally describes your personality.

2. OMG come look at this. This can either be said right before you’re about to see something impressive, or something impressively terrible. Either way, it’s cause for excitement. OMG Stacey get over here. Look at this hat that is also a giant mushroom. Amazing.

3. I’m coming in there. A friend less close to you may politely wait outside the dressing room – not your BFF. She’s coming in there with you no matter what policy states, because she needs to see every single option if she’s going to give a worthwhile opinion. Also modesty went out the window with you two a long time ago. I love that bra. Where did you get it?

4. Take that off. Now. Some people may let you seriously consider something ugly if you like it. Those people aren’t your BFF. No like, you really need to take that thing off. It’s like a tablecloth. No one can pull that thing off. You’re gorgeous – yet it makes you look like you just wandered into a kitchen supply store and took the first piece of fabric someone gave you. Next.

5. Let’s do a dressing room selfie. I don’t know why this always ends up happening, but it does. Maybe because most of the things you bring in the dressing room end up comically failing and you have to take pictures to document the hilarity of it all. Maybe you’re both on a winning streak of trying on outfits that make you look like you’re about to do a fashion show. It must be remembered. These are the special times.

6. What the hell is this? Sometimes you see something on a hanger that is just confusing, and has the potential to be really embarrassing. You don’t know whether it’s a jumper, overalls, a bra, or a pair of underwear. You’re stumped. Good thing you have your BFF there to try to sort it out. And put it on your head while taking more selfies. You may or may not have tried to put it on the mannequin, too.

7. You should get this for your mom/sister/boyfriend. Both of you know each other’s peeps so well that when the holidays come around, you can give educated opinions on what to get them. Well, you got him a lava lamp last year, and he’s clearly not over his retro phase so…plasma ball?

8. You can use my coupon. Ah, the holy grail of shopping with friends. One of you always has a coupon, and somehow convinces the lady to let both of you use it…even if it is expired. Really? It’s expired? but I JUST printed it…wow. Do you think we could still use it, just this once? We shop here all the time. All the time.

9. That doesn’t fit? Sizing must be off. To other people, the thing didn’t fit because maybe it’s not your size. To your BFF, the thing didn’t fit because that company obviously made a mistake. I can’t believe that isn’t fitting. I can’t believe these people. I swear they make the sizes smaller and smaller. No, you are amazing. That brand is ridiculous.  

10. We can both get it. In different colors. As much as the thought of showing up to a public place with your BFF in the same exact thing gives you anxiety, sometimes you both fall in love with one particular thing. It’s cool. You get the blue, I’ll get the green, and we’ll just text each other to coordinate the days we wear it.

…But some days, when you’re alone, you both put on the thing and pretend you’re twins while posing back to back.


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