According to Gary Chapman’s very successful book, The 5 Love Languages, there are five different ways we give and receive love. The way we preferred to be loved is our love language, however it’s often not the same as our partner’s love language. This is where a lot of relationships go bad. We need to learn to love our partners the way they receive love best, not the way we receive love best. Here are 10 things that you should know if your dating someone who values quality time the most.
1. Scheduling time for focused attention is so important
If you want your partner to feel loved, make sure that you set aside time to pay undivided attention to them. Remember that this is the way to their heart. Turn off the television, put away your phone, and spend some time really talking and connecting with them. It’s not quality time if you’re scanning Facebook for the millionth time while asking them how work went.
2. Don’t make them feel like they are taking too much of your time
We all have obligations, but throwing them in the face of your quality time partner is definitely something to avoid. If they really are demanding too much of your time, choose your words carefully. If you need some alone time to focus on your own things, schedule a quality time date with them sometime in the near future so that they have something to look forward to.
3. Dates that will allow you to connect are the best
Go to a quiet restaurant where you can gaze into each others eyes over candlelight. Or save some money and plan a picnic in the park. Put away your phone and try your best to avoid using it. Consider taking your quality timer to a place that’s important to you, and then explain the significance to them. Connecting with you emotionally is what makes them feel loved, so keep that in mind whenever you schedule activities together.
4. Sometimes they just want to vent
If you’re dating a quality timer, there’s a good chance that they rely on you as a source to vent to. Listen to them when they rant and rave about an obnoxious co-worker. Offer a sympathetic ear and ask before offering advice. Sometimes they just want to know that you care about their problems and struggles.
5. There’s always time for quality time
No matter how busy your schedules get, make sure that you get to check in with your significant other. Sit down and have a cup of coffee together in the morning and talk about your plans for the day. Turn off the radio during a car ride and discuss your relationship instead. Even if you just take 15 minutes before bed to talk about how your days went, that small amount of time can make a huge difference to your quality timer.
6. Eye contact is important
Looking at your partner is a way to signify that you’re really present. Quality timers tend to love eye contact. So gaze into their eyes and let them know that time spent with them is something that you truly enjoy.
7. Weekend getaways are a real treat
Want to really spoil your partner? Plan a weekend away together. It doesn’t have to be anywhere fancy. A nearby B&B where the two of you can spend the whole weekend talking, connecting, and learning new things about each other is a quality timers dream come true.
8. They value time more than money
If your partners love language is quality time, they just want to be around you more than anything. This can be tough for workaholics to understand. Quality timers know the bills have to get paid, but they also want to know that they’re important to you. Instead of working more so that you can buy them lavish presents, remember that they’d probably rather spend that extra time with you even if it means forgoing the gifts. Go for walks with them, schedule meals together, and try to go to bed at the same time.
9. They are excellent communicators
Quality timers like to talk and tend to be pretty good at it. Even if you’re not the best communicator your partner will be eager to help you learn. Ask lots of questions and work on really listening. If something has been amiss lately, talk to them about it. They are very responsive to discussing things, even if those things aren’t so pleasant to hear.
10. Meaningful conversations mean the most
Not sure what to talk to your quality timer about? Discuss your childhood, your values, your hopes and dreams. Conversations of real substance are valued the most by your partner. Discussing latest mishaps of the Kardashian clan probably doesn’t make the cut. If you run out of ideas of things to talk about, Google “questions for couples” and you’re sure to find plenty of suggestions.
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