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10 Ways You Change After A Difficult Breakup

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After the relationship, you find your life taking a different shape than you expected. The breakup has taught you a few new things about yourself. One thing’s for sure: you’ll never be the same.

1. You take off all your masks.

You let go a little, of what everyone thinks of you. You realize you’re not the person everyone thinks you are and it’s okay. Life’s too short. You have no choice but to do things for yourself, not for the sake of appearances. 

2. You taste bittersweet freedom.

You’re overwhelmed, happy, lonely, excited all at once. Technically, you’re liberated, but you don’t feel totally free. You can date anyone, go anywhere, make your own choices about how late to stay out. But you’re not totally sure what to do with yourself. 

3. You catch up with old friends and family and wonder why you let them get away so long.

You feel grateful you have these people in your life. And you feel guilty that you didn’t totally realize just how important they were to you until now. 

4. You admit things you were afraid to admit to yourself before.

Before, you were sometimes in denial about stuff and you pushed it to the back of your mind. You tried to view the relationship in rosy glasses. Now you don’t lie to yourself anymore.

5. You remember parts of yourself that you had forgotten while in the relationship.

You’re no longer planning a life for two, so you’re getting real about your own stuff. You think more about your own ambitions and set goals for yourself. In the empty space where the relationship once was, a whole new space of possibilities has opened up for you. 

6. You start to see your ex in a different light. 

The relationship created a haze, but now that it’s in the past things are clearer. You think hard about what really matters to you when it comes to love, and you know it will shape all your future relationships, too. All you know for sure is that you don’t want to repeat the mistakes of the past.

7. You go out when you want, and stay in when you feel like it.

Your life has a different routine to it now that your significant other isn’t always at your side. You’ve got different obligations now. On a night out anything’s possible. And you indulge in being a homebody, too.

8. You no longer look outside to learn about love, because you possess wisdom of love from your own experience.

You don’t get quite as excited as you might have before about seeing romantic stuff, from weddings in real life to movies. No story, no other couple, no one else can define love for you anymore. You know what it is, and you know for yourself what love really means.

9. You learn the definition of self-reliance.

Until now, you never really understood what it meant to be a resilient person. No matter how much the breakup hurt, you now feel comforted by the fact that you’re still kicking it. You’re getting through the day, life is going on, and your life is getting a little better each day.

10. You learn that your past relationship doesn’t define who you are: you define who you are.

You have a better sense of how to hold on to yourself if you fall for someone again. You realize there is a part of you that is strong and unchanging, whether you’re part of a couple or alone, and no one can ever take that away from you.

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