Long-distance relationships are often harder than what’s said. Insecurities, distance, jealousy… it’s almost like (all the problems of a common relationship)*100.
Yet, true lovers stick to each other no matter what.
Infact, one study indicates that 75% of all engaged couples have been in a long-distance relationship at some point of time. You see, it works!
Love can find the shortest distance gigantic. And yet, bridge the longest distances.
Numbers don’t matter when your love is true. It doesn’t matter whether it is on the weighing scale or a stadiometer, difference in age, or distance in the number of miles.
I’ve been in a long-distance relationship myself, and it’s nothing less than a rollercoaster ride.
Some days, you will rack your brain, deciding if it’s worth it. On others, you will seek their hands on yours.
So, before you dive into this relationship, here’s a list of things you should know that I wish someone told me when I started on this journey:
1. You have to go through a lot of pain.
“A mighty pain to love it is…”
If you relate to the above lines, you are already prepared for your long-distance relationship.
The idea of pain in love is often fantasized. But is it truly that romantic to cry tears of pain?
When the relationship crosses a certain course of time, you will realize that emotional pain is often unbearable and horrible.
The thought of not getting to see your partner regularly and not getting to hug them tightly after a fight will leave you yearning and feel helpless
Part of getting into a long-distance relationship is accepting that you will cry a lot.
There’s no other way. Even if your partner is at their best at all times, the incapability to hug them and experience their touch when your heart asks for will be too much for a weak heart to bear.
2. It is not just the adjustment of distance but also the time-zone.
It’s never easy when you are in a relationship with a partner who is far away and living in a different time zone.
You will find yourself hyped up to talk about your day while your partner is already in bed.
If you haven’t pre-arranged the time of FaceTime and Skype, you have to sleep without catching a sight of your lover’s face.
Planning ahead is important as both the partners have to look at their schedules and pre-analyze how much time will be required in getting to and from to meet each other and how long they can stay together.
3. It will make you accustomed to making a lot of hard choices
If the distance between you and your partner was not hard, all hell breaks loose when you have to choose between what needs to be done and what your heart desires.
In the journey, you will make a ton of hard choices. While you will become accustomed to doing it, it will never be easy.
You have to go through the same emotions each time, and sometimes even more intense emotions will clench you when the perplexity of the situation tightens its grasps.
However, it will be a breath of relief if your partner is supportive.
4. A Long-Distance Relationship cannot be saved with flickering trust.
You think love can triumph over anything, but it’s just partly true.
The lack of trust empowers over the strongest emotions of love and destroys years of companionship.
A long-distance relationship to work demands trust and faithfulness.
It means if your partner says they are at an important meeting, you have to trust them. Because if you don’t trust your partner in the first place, then why do you have one?
It also doesn’t mean giving a blind eye to an apparently cheating partner. Instead, creating a bond in a way that outer influences and temptations return empty–handed from the very gate.
5. It can be bad for your budget.
Just because you are not going on real dates, buying expensive flowers, and pulling the doors of expensive restaurants, it doesn’t mean your pocket will not get some holes.
A long-distance relationship is expensive. It’s no longer the old days where people spent years without seeing each other and still stayed faithful.
You have to meet your partner once in a while, and the plane tickets will be expensive.
The dollars will be replaced by train, metro, and boat tickets. And if you talk about internet bills, they will be massive.
The funny part is, even if there’s a big hole in your pocket staring right back at you that you cannot afford to sew, you will do anything to afford the bills you pay to meet and talk to your love.
6. BEWARE! Breakdowns ahead.
Have you ever been in a long-distance relationship? Oh… then you must know what it feels like to have breakdowns every now and then.
It doesn’t require anything particular to divert your attention to the memory lane.
Your friends may laugh at you, as even the trivial things can lead you to lower your head and howl your heart out.
A movie, a song, a romantic line, a couple standing nearby, and anything that one can’t possibly think of can make you miss your partner who is seas away…
You will find yourself relating everything to them, and it will be a loop that you will love and hate at the same time.
7. People will judge you.
You wish if they can be more supportive. Apart from a few sensitive ones, you can find your friends having a gala time making jokes like –
“May I know who you’re really kissing? Is it your boyfriend or the bacteria on the phone’s screen?”
“I think you see other people. After all, your girlfriend is never gonna know about it.”
The best advice – Ignore them. Or maybe, have a laugh?
8. You will discover a new part of yourself that you never knew existed.
Situations teach us a lot.
In the face of adversities, you will learn a lot about yourself.
The act of being away with your partner will be hard, both emotionally and physically.
There will be moments you have never faced in life, and with each obstacle, you will appear stronger than before.
The new obstacles will change and enhance your sense of self… and a new person with new abilities to cope with situations, and more willpower will uncover.
9. The distance will result in fights.
There is no relationship without fights. But the chances of its occurrence are more here.
When conversations are focused mainly through the means of texts and e-mails, it’s not always possible to interpret the body language and mood of the other person.
You can’t guess if your partner is having a bad day or a mood swing, or they are mad at you for something you did three weeks ago.
Until they scream from the other side of the phone – “I AM MAD AT YOU!” you will be left hanging there unaware of their temper, and it will create the perfect opportunities for fights to sneak in.
Personal Tip: Don’t let it. Understand that the distance is playing with you.
10. A significant amount of time will be spent inside your head.
Your partner is not here. But that doesn’t mean they are distant. They are always there… hugging you in your thoughts.
A bit too much time will be spent inside your head, thinking about all the amazing things you will do when you meet your partner.
There will be constant replays of the moments spent together and procrastination of visualizing yourself by their side whilst playing romantic songs.
Sounds funny… yeah? But, true.
11. Temptations will be common
When you are away, you will still find people attractive.
It’s not an issue that requires huge contemplation because, as human beings, it’s natural to like an attractive person of the opposite gender.
But it should be maintained and controlled.
Having a temptation is not wrong, but the power to control that temptation is essential.
It should always be kept in mind that you have a partner sitting miles away whom you love with all your heart… made promises of a future together.
Remember, your partner is driving away the temptation just as much.
12. You will learn to do things on your own
You have to take it to yourself to gain control of a lot of situations in which you found yourself depending on your partner before.
It’s your brother’s wedding, and your partner may not be there to walk hand in hand.
Need help with moving to a new house? Your partner was there the last time, but now the distance will make it impossible.
You will learn to depend on yourself for a lot of things that others depend on their partners for.
13. Don’t punish yourself for being jealous of other couples
It’s been months since you met your partner… and here’s your friend who arrived at the party with her beau, and is now being all lovey-dovey and flaunting random PDA.
You can’t help but get jealous when you see your friend’s boyfriends surprising them by knocking on the door and taking them out on frequent dates.
You will wish if your partner was here and hanging out with them may start seeming annoying to you.
It can be quite lonely and boring being in a long-distance relationship.
But if 60% of long-distance couples can do it, you can do it too.
So, if your love truly belongs to the one and no one else can survive to catch your eyes other than that cute face of your lover that you can’t get out of your mind, these annoying things will be worth it when you finally get to spend your life with them together.