If your friend is an (affectionately named) attention seeking whore, you probably already know, and so does she. But just for a bag of laughs, here are some neon flashing lights that she likes to give out from time to time:
1. You get a sinking feeling whenever you develop a crush. You’d love to tell your friend about it, really you would, but you can’t. Because as soon as she knows you like him, she’ll try to bang him.
2. In fact, you keep your boyfriend a secret for the first few weeks of dating him. Because you want to make sure that friend of yours knows you’re in a solid relationship once you make the big reveal.
3. She’s always flirting with the boyfriends of the group. and she doesn’t limit herself to boyfriends – she’ll just flirt with whatever appears to have a penis, or appears to be into her. She even flirts with everyone’s pets.
4. She believes that stripping down to her bra in the bar is totally normal. What? She always asks when you give her that look. It’s just like being in a bathing suit. Yep, just like being in a bathing suit. In January. In the Northeast.
5. And she’ll use every excuse to get up on the bar. And it’s not like she’s also inviting you to get up on the bar – she does it like she was hired to do it, taking off her shirt and flipping it around. So she’s all up on the bar, and you’re basically alone now.
6. She flirted with your dad once. She didn’t know it was your dad, but it was gross all the same.
7. She has dated a guy who was taken more than once. She didn’t even blink an eye. It’s like she enjoyed the game of it, competing for his attention.
8. And has shamelessly stolen him away. Okay fine, it takes two to tango, but you know how she is. She totally arranged that whole situation.
9. If there’s a few of you flirting with a group of guys, she’ll stick out her chest the most. She’ll also make sure to touch the guys the most, and will be the most suggestive. Double entendres are her thing.
10. She’ll find any excuse to put things in her mouth when a guy is around. Pens, lollipops, an actual dick, really there are no rules with her.
11. She doesn’t own underwear, because as far as she’s concerned, it’s a hassle. I mean, she’s just going to take them off and leave them somewhere.
12. She has every dating app, and goes on them in her spare time just to tease the crap out of the guys on there.
13. She always wants to do a girls night, but you have the sneaking suspicion that girls night is just code for accompany me so I don’t look pathetic in front of all these guys I’m going to flirt with night.
14. But despite the fact you have to hide your men, and maybe teach her a lesson or two on manners, she's still super fun to be around.
