5. We will eat five slices of pizza
in about…30 seconds. Nomnomnomnomnom. What? nomnomnomnom. This is a great movie. Nomnomnomnomnom. Cheese.
6. We will fall down
quite a ways, and then pop back up like nothing happened. I’m ok! no really I’m ok. I have an alcohol shield. Next Day: Shit.
7. We’ll have a heavyweight fight over
drunk texting exes: Let GO of the phone. No! I need to speak to him! LET GO! NOOOOOOO! NOW. It’s for your own good.