The truth is, we’re all slight assholes sometimes:
Using sarcasm to insult stupid people without them realizing it. Since hitting people is frowned upon, sarcasm is your selected shield.
Messing with really serious and pretentious people. Like cats with laser pointers. They’re the cat and you’re the laser pointer.
“Don’t tell anyone what I just told you.” You: “No no of course not never.” *Copy* *Paste entire conversation to the best friend*
When you laugh in really inopportune situations and then you can’t stop laughing because it’s so inappropriate but that much funnier.
Farting silently and then leaving the room.
Having the urge to tell someone to STFU even when they aren’t talking.
Texting someone and then they call, but you only feel like texting so you don’t pick up.
Listening in on people’s conversations and then judging them: Idiot. Of course that wasn’t her cousin that she went to dinner with.
Your camera roll is like 90 percent of screenshots because you just make fun of people.
Stealing someone’s cab because you’re faster: Sooorrrryyy! Muhahaha
At work replacing “fuck you” with “okay, great.”
Provoking people that are completely ridiculous – like when you’re debating with something who’s a dick and you just say absurd stuff to make them madder.