We’ve all been there ladies and gents. They have everything: a great body, a fantastic apartment, their cat clearly prefers you to them…but before you know it you’re reduced to screaming matches outside your favorite bar and they’re burning a pile of your clothes on their front lawn.
Now you have to change your number again, and warn all your friends to stop talking to them.
So what keeps going wrong?! Take a gander at these early warning signs and you’ll never have to escape a date by climbing out of the bathroom window again.
1. They keep telling white lies.
Does your partner claim to have been in the Navy SEALs but he gets out of breath walking up the stairs? Do they keep hinting that they’re totally getting an invite to Nikki Minaj’s next big shindig, but you know for a fact they aren’t even invited to their niece’s 5th birthday party?
These little white lies (and giant stinkin’ black ones) are all indications your partner might not be on the level. Studies have indicated that compulsive lying is usually the symptom of a much larger personality disorder, and your partner will keep doing it well past the point that they’ve been trapped in their own web of deceit. This will lead to awkward conversations with your friends as you try to explain to them why they can’t meet your new fling as he’s “fishing” with “Bruno Mars” this weekend.
Take my advice on this one, get out ASAP!
2. They’re more than a bit paranoid.
Are they constantly peeking over your shoulder to check who you’re texting? Do they ring you 25 times a day to find out your exact location? Have you recently found a GPS device stuck to the underside of your car?
These are all signs that you’re dating a crazy. The reason why these guys (and girls) are so paranoid all the time is probably because they have something to hide themselves. Either they are too insecure to be in an adult relationship or more likely they have a few skeletons in their closets and their projecting their shame onto you. That’s right guys and gals, they’re usually the ones doing the cheating! Call them out on their BS and watch this house of cards crumble.
3. All their ex’s are crazy.
Ok so we’ve all had crazy ex’s, and every now and then its hilarious to bring out the story about how you caught your last squeeze trying to sell your dog on Craigslist because they were jealous of the attention Fido was getting. But when every one of their ex’s were crazy, alarm bells should start ringing.
Chances are if every single person your current intrigue has previously dated is an axe-wielding bunny boiler, the problem is probably with them and not their harem of ex-lovers, and if you stick with them long enough you’re going to end up as one of those “crazy” ex’s as well.
4. They cheated on their ex with you.
Now we aren’t all angels…not too many of us can claim we have a blemish-free record when it comes to dating and occasionally certain partners may have overlapped slightly. But if this is your current concubine’s MO then you have a red flag on your hands. There are some people out there that bounce from relationship to relationship, as soon as one cools off they’re out on prowl for the next despite the fact the first one isn’t “officially” over. Look out for these greedy needy relationship skippers, they’ll break your heart!
Keep an eye out for these red flags and you’ll be able to spot the psycho’s from a mile away, leaving you with the peace of mind that your car won’t be key’d this month.
