6 Readers Share Their Secret Affairs: "I Cheated, and It Changed Me"

Six of our readers tell us about the time they cheated on their partner, and how it made them re-think their relationship:


I cheated because the sex wasn’t very good…

“I cheated because the sex wasn’t very good at that point in our relationship. I felt like I was being pushed away and was being a complete nuisance. It was a one time thing, and I felt awful about it after it happened. I broke down crying one night in front of him, and told him how I’d been feeling unloved and like a bother for the last few months.

He was completely shocked and told me he needed time to think. Three long, torturing weeks later, he called me and we met at the place where we had our first date. We talked for a good three hours, and we both promised to get our shit together and here we are, almost a year later, with a wedding on the way.”

– Tina, 26


It felt like a thousand pounds of my shoulders…

“It was when I was 17 and I was drinking at a party. At that age I obviously couldn’t handle my alcohol and that night my boyfriend was being mean to me and ignoring my texts (in high school, that was the worst thing that could ever happen to a girl). Drunk me thought it would be a great idea to hook up with the nice boy that was talking to me and giving me attention. Immediately after I felt awful and I dreaded telling my boyfriend. He found out a few days later, before I summoned the courage to tell him. He broke up with me the night before my high school graduation because of a drunken mistake that I regretted immensely. I later found out he cheated on me multiple times throughout our relationship.

Now, being out of college, this all seems so immature and irrelevant, but I think it taught me an extremely important lesson about how important it is to not only respect my loved one in the relationship, but also myself. I would never ever cheat again, it felt like a thousand pounds on my shoulders. Every time I had a free second to think, I thought about the moment that boy kissed me and every time it felt like my stomach flipped inside out. To this day, I remember the feeling of losing the most important person in my life, the person I spent a majority of high school with, all because of that one kiss that one night – and I never want to feel that again.”

– Brittney, 22


The only thing I felt bad about was the fact that I didn’t do it sooner…

“I dated an older guy for two and a half years, until this past summer. I thought I was in love until I took a vacation to Europe for two months and encountered lots of hotties. I cheated and made out with one guy. The only thing I felt bad about was the fact that I didn’t do it sooner. My relationship was two and a half years too long. As a matter of fact, cheating was like my rebirth into dating and finding myself.”

– Zorana, 18


I never confessed, but I always got found out…

“I’ve thought about this a lot. I’ve self-analyzed and wondered why I do it. It’s happened more than once with more than one person. I felt like a chronic cheater. I’ve hurt a lot of people. I never confessed, but I always got found out. I think I was always scared they’d leave me, and I wanted someone there when it happened. Or maybe I have low of self-esteem and needed reassurance from more than one person at a time to feel like I was desireable. It doesn’t add up.

I’ve been cheated on and played around on just as many times, so maybe that’s where it stems from. My parents had their own issues with that too, so maybe I learned from them. I’ve recently met someone though, and I’d give her the world if I could. I’d never want to hurt her. I really don’t want anyone else this time. I really don’t think so. I hope I won’t mess it up…”

– Hanna, 23


I wanted to be wanted by someone other than my husband…

“I cheated because I wanted to be wanted by someone other than my husband. After you have a child and you’re married for so long, you start to lose yourself. I went out and sought comfort in somebody else. I cheated for a year and then finally came clean. I wouldn’t do it again. I’ve gained more self-respect and learned to look within yourself and the people that love when you need to be reminded of the great person that you are!”

– Vicki, 28


I wanted to hurt him back…

“My college boyfriend got drunk one night and grabbed my arm, leaving a mark. I wanted to hurt him back, so I slept with his friend. It made sense at the time, but it never made anything better. I ended up breaking up with the guy, and we didn’t talk for a while after he found out.

I wouldn’t be able to do it again, but that’s why I’m “forever single.” I can sleep with whoever I want and not have to worry about hurting anyone.”

– Jess, 24

Published by

Tom Proctor

Tom likes to think he’s an interloping intrepid fella with a sharp wit and brimming with Britishisms. Originating from the rainy shores of Blighty he has made his way around the world, living in a host of countries across 4 different continents. Tom has written for a number of established outlets including satirical Argentinian news site “The Bubble” and “Playground BA”. Now living in the city of Brooklyn and writing for Puckermob, you can expect a lot of tongue in cheek, pinch of salt articles designed to tickle you in just the right way. Always game for a blather and a chinwag, if you’d like to know more please get in touch by emailing tom.proctor46@googlemail.com Twitter handle: @TomProctor11 Facebook URL:

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