We’ve all got things we don’t like about ourselves. We’ve accumulated these issues throughout our lives for whatever reason. But there are a few things to know before dating someone with self-esteem issues:
1. If you reject us, we’ll be hurt.
Yes, we’ll get over it semi-quickly, but thoughts immediately begin to rush through our heads. What did I do? Does he think I’m ugly? Was it because he didn’t like my new haircut?
2. Avoid our triggers.
If you know there’s something we’re super sensitive about, don’t push the envelope. Not even as a joke. Whether it’s our huge schnoz, small boobs or our weight, we’d rather not talk about it at all — unless we want to.
3. We love it when you give us compliments.
But don’t go overboard. We can tell when you’re either trying to get lucky or are overcompensating for something you did wrong. Just be cool, man. Otherwise, it’ll come off forced. Obviously most women can relate to this, not just women with self-esteem issues. But we greatly appreciate the compliments because they’re something we need to hear.
4. Respect our boundaries.
Just like #2, if there is something we’re super sensitive about, just be cool. If there is something we’re not comfortable doing with our bodies, you don’t need to ask questions. Just respect it. If we want to turn the lights off during sex, please oblige, at least at first. Same goes for refusing shower sex. If we get more comfortable with you, we might loosen the reigns a bit.
5. Be the person who helps us overcome these issues.
You don’t need to compliment us every two seconds. Go beyond that. Show us love. Show us compassion. Let us talk about our problems when we need to. Make us feel desired. You don’t have to be our therapist; we just need you to be someone who will listen, we can trust and who will love us.
6. Decide if you want to be that person.
Depending on the level of our insecurities, a relationship with us has the potential to be overwhelming. Are you ready to deal with us ridiculing ourselves for that horrible photo our friend posted on Instagram? If not, then don’t waste either of our time.
7. Don’t gossip with your friends about our insecurities.
There’s no worse way to embarrass us than telling the entire world we can’t stop talking about our thunder thighs. It’ll only humilate us and make us resent you. You’ll probably lose our trust immediately.
8. Don’t be the person who contributes to our issues.
We don’t wanna feel like we can’t be ourselves around you. You’re supposed to be our rock, the person who’s on our side. Don’t antagonize us, even when we’re driving you nuts. Don’t give up on us. Please.