3. He’s concerned about her dating (or vice versa).
The thing about breaking up is you lose the right and any valid reason to have say-so about what your ex does, even when children are involved. You don’t get to say when they date, who they date or how often they can go out. In custody cases, courts don’t even generally allow one parent to dictate who the other associates with, even when the child is around. And you shouldn’t accept your man trying to regulate his baby mama’s private life or him having to justify his to her. And it’s definitely a red flag if they’ve reached an agreement where she forbids you being around “her child?? and he’s agreed to respect her wishes. No man should make an agreement to bar the woman he loves from his child’s life.
4. Visitation includes her.
Unless your man is physically or mentally challenged he can learn to care for his child on his own at every age, including infancy. He doesn’t need his baby mama around monitoring every visit. Don’t accept them playing family because they’re not. They may both need to be present on certain occasions—medical visits, parent-teacher conferences, school plays —but they don’t need to be posing as a couple.
5. He doesn’t want you around her.
He drops off and picks up the child but you can’t come. He goes to sporting events, performances or to visit his child in the hospital but you can’t go. He says this is because his baby mama is bitter. She’s unpredictable. He tells you she talks smack about you and calls you names and he doesn’t know how she’ll act. He just wants peace and he doesn’t want you to have to deal with her bull–. Don’t buy it. Those are conversations he needs to have with her. If she can’t accept that you’re part of his life, let her smother in bitterness, but don’t let him force you into the shadows.
