It takes two people to make a child and they have to work together to raise it. But sometimes exes blur the lines and are involved in more than parenting. They’ve allegedly moved on, but in reality they’re still clinging to the past, to those days when they were in a relationship. And their behavior shows they’re not ready to let go.
If you’re involved with a guy who has a baby with another woman (his baby mama aka his BM) and you suspect he’s concerned about more than his you child, you may be right.
1. Excessive co-parenting.
Yes, parents need to discuss things: medical decisions, child care arrangements, grades and behavior. And there are some moments they want share with each other: the first step, first word, an award or an upcoming event. But be very aware when every move the baby mama makes requires input from your man. If she’s calling every time the child draws a picture or he has to rush over for every scrape, cut and whimper, there’s a problem. When people aren’t ready to let go they’ll often use children to stay in constant contact.
2. She plays the middle man.
Once a child reaches a certain age, there’s little for parents to talk about on a daily basis. Sure, your man may need to talk to his BM here and there. But for the most part, school-age children can communicate directly with their fathers, no middle man required. And at some point it becomes ridiculous for all calls to be routed through her. A father who really wants to stay in touch with his child should be willing to invest in a cellphone or landline. If not, you have to wonder: who does he really want to talk to?
