Somewhere between the countless tears and sleepless nights, I stopped looking for love. I stopped chasing after boys I knew would only disappoint me. I even stopped giving chances to the boys that could have been the one. I stopped trying altogether.
I got sick and tired of putting myself out there only to get my heart broken. There’s no point in starting something when I knew exactly how it was going to end. “I am not ready for something this serious,” “I’m not looking for a relationship,” “I am just too busy.” It’s the same lines every damn time. It all translates to all they want is temporary or they want someone else.
The pain just isn’t worth the temporary happiness anymore, because it always comes to a screeching halt. Drunk texting the guy I met at the party last week? He just looking for a hookup then he will be gone. Swiping on tinder to see if I can find a match? All they are going to be interested in is sex then forget my name. Looking for a hot guy at the bar? He has already had too many drinks and is only trying to get in my pants.
This game they play gets boring and lonely. You think you have a chance, you get excited and tell all your friends about him. Next thing you know, he is not texting back and ditching out on your plans. A week later, you haven’t heard from him.