I’m not going to sit here and tell you that things will get easier on their own; because they won’t. Mistakes are big, bitter pills to swallow. The guilt will always eat at you for the things you can no longer change and you will often feel alone with your feelings.
The only thing that really changes is your ability to forgive yourself in a world where nobody else will. Mistakes hurt. Lack of forgiveness hurts. Love hurts. Perhaps love is the greatest pain of all.
You give so much and hate yourself when you fall below your own expectations; When you fail to protect the only person you ever truly cared for; When you not only let yourself down but all of those around you, too.
Sometimes you feel confused and overwhelmed. What could you do differently; What could you do better? After a loss, sitting in silence pondering your thoughts on what you did wrong is a sure way to lose yourself and become trapped in the confines of a deep, dark tunnel you should never walk through.