What if you stopped right now – this very second, today – and eliminated all your relationship goals.
That’s a hard thing I’m asking you to do, I’m aware. But what if you accepted that there are no guarantees in life – no matter how deeply in love you are, or how long you’ve been with someone.
When we’re with someone we love, we clutch on to them – it’s the reason we sometimes feel cripplingly insecure and inadequate and scared about everything that’s coming next. We map out this future with them and are heartbroken when things don’t work out like the way we planned.
We put up with so much crap from a person because we think that one day “It’ll be different” or they’ll change, or because we don’t want to be alone and have a certain set of relationship milestones.
Through our constant restlessness in, or out of relationships, we fail to realize a very important truth – in life there are no guarantees. There is only one indisputable certainty: no matter how certain things feel today, you are not now, nor ever will be, in control of other people – and therefore, anything can end at any time.
Your first inclination may be to ask, “So what’s the point?” The notion that nothing is certain is fucking scary – but ponder it a few moments more. Because here’s what we don’t want to admit: When we eliminate all relationship goals we are able to live in the now. In the present. We are able to simplify our life in the most beautiful way. We are able to be truly happy because we’ll stop making plans for the sake of not being alone on this and that date, we will stop excusing shitty behavior because, “one day they we will change.”
Instead, we can ask ourselves this: Are they making me happy now? It’s seems so simple, doens’t it? But that’s because it is. In a world where everything is so complicated, happiness should be simple and, trust, so should love. If they aren’t making you happy now, life is too damn short to stick it out in the hopes of “one day.” Don’t be in a relationship for the sake to check off some set timeline of relationship milestones. Because remember, there are no guarantees.
The only guarantee we have with a person is right now, today. You might initially consider this be devastating, but eventually realize that this is the ultimate liberation. If you’re happy today, cherish that, stop worrying about the future.
You don’t have to achieve any relationship goals other than sharing that last french fry with them.
