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Domestic Violence Awareness Month. You Are Not Alone.

One in three women, and one and four men will suffer. It will start out with something that you will not even think is a big deal. Like asking you to consult them before hanging out with your friends. Slowly it will turn into more. Domestic Violence is real. And you are not alone.

One day you will be sitting with your friends when your significant other calls your phone for the forty fifth time. You will answer and it will start the argument of where you have been and why you have not answered their calls. They will make you feel like you are in the wrong, and tell you it is just because they love you and want to spend all of their time with you. 

Next thing you know, you will have stropped hanging out with your friends, and start hanging with them and them only. The fighting will start because you will probably start to feel smothered. They will want to see your phone all the time. That conversation that you thought would be no big deal, you know the one from the opposite sex friend that you have never even looked at as a romantic relationship. The fighting starts again. You do not love them, and now are being accused of cheating because someone asked you how your day was, or how life was going because they have not seen you in a while. 

Now that you have given up your friends, your family will start to be the problem. Going out with your family. They will not want to come to family events, but will not want you to go wither. They will ask you why you have to leave them. After all didn’t you say they where your whole world? Your family will talk about how they do not see much of you anymore, and how you do not stay at family events long. 

Now that they have your family out of the way. It will come down to what you are wearing when you have to leave the house. “Isn’t that a little too sexy? Who are you trying to impress? I knew you where seeing someone else, why would you be dressed like that?” You won’t be able to answer your phone calls or text message without them being around or answering for you. You will watch yourself slowly lose all of your control, but you will not even realize that this is happening. 

Next thing that you know, you will both be sitting on the couch and a comment that you did not even think mattered at the time will come back up. You partner will bring it up. They will tell you that they will not put up with you talking to them like that. The anger that has been held in all day, it explodes with name calling, and hitting. You are laying there on the ground in the middle of the rage. You can feel the blows as their hands feel like thunder crashing into you. Their eyes daggers, and you are just laying there helpless. 

When this becomes you’re everyday, you are going to wonder how you got here. You are going to remember the person that you used to be. Funny and full of life. The one that everyone could come to when they needed someone. Now you are sitting here alone on the bathroom floor wondering where to turn. You love your partner, and you will tell yourself that they can change. That you can help them change. They will walk in, and you will flitch, they will say I am sorry or it will never happen again and that they love you. This is until it does happen again, and until they are laughing about the fact that you are laying on the bathroom floor crying and flinching. 

This is domestic violence. The only thing that I am going to ask if you are suffering is to love yourself more. 

Call 1800.799.SAFE (7233) 

Live chat here: https://www.thehotline.org/stakeholders/domestic-violence-statistics/

Or Text: START to 88788

Love yourself more and stay safe.

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