I can feel my heart getting heavier. Sparks are running through my veins. Words are lining up at the tip of my tongue like an overfilled trashcan ready to spew out.
I’m fuming with anger. It’s not the kind of anger that’s holding back my tears. And it’s not the kind of anger that’s planning my revenge. It’s not the kind of anger that’s forcing me to make a decision full of regrets.
No. It’s the kind of anger making me put my foot down. And it’s the anger that’s encouraging me to leave. It’s telling me I’ve had enough. It’s the anger that’s inspiring me to make a change, to let go, to take a step toward the right direction.
This anger is forcing me to leave behind what I’ve always been too scared to let go of. It’s making me realize that I deserve better. It’s giving me the courage to say no. Reaching this degree of anger is shifting my perspective. It’s taking me from “I need this” to “I don’t care.” It’s giving me resilience to cut the chains that have been binding me.
And it took only one sentence, one moment will trigger this change of energy. It hit me like a gust of wind, knocking me off my feet. But instead of letting it defeat me, this anger is pulling me up.
It’s giving me an epiphany that has always been so obvious. It’s showing me that I’ve been showering my love on things that never deserved a second chance.
This anger isn’t taking over my being, no. It’s not reminding me to take a step back. And it’s gravitating me toward a resolution. It’s not setting my surrounds on fire. It’s cleansing my mind, giving me a chance to think straight for the first time in months.
We all have a threshold of how much pain we can handle before we demand, “it’s over.” My threshold has been reached, my strength rising above it.
And if you are fortunate enough to experience it as I have:
You will pick yourself up.
Walk away from the pain.
And never look back.