You’ve always been complex to others, even to yourself.
Any social situation can either make you feel alive and your best self – or completely bored, annoyed and uninterested. You’re strong minded and sensitive at the same time. Extremely outgoing but rarely socializing. There are days when you find yourself unfiltered, carefree and the center of attention. But then there are days when you over-think everything, and the only voice that speaks is the one inside your head. Everything about you is a puzzle.
Constant mental stimulation is a must, the deeper the conversation the more alive you feel. And you can definitely do without small talk, you’d even give up finding ‘the one’ if it meant never having to go through the pain of small talk… it literally gives you mini panic attacks. And sometimes you have to ignore phone calls from the people closest to you…it’s just too hard for you to drop your thoughts and have a conversation with them. You need more prep time to switch gears like that.
You have one (possibly two) best friends who you’d do anything for. But other than that, it’s just too much of a struggle to maintain friendships.