Ladies, listen up. I don't know about you, but I recently realized that I am tired of awful tummy pains and being bloated from holding in the farts that I don't want my S.O. to hear, or worse, smell.
Sound familiar? We constantly tiptoe around normal bodily happenings for fear of a boy we like knowing that we're actual real, living human beings. It needs to stop, and it can.
Relationships are all about honesty, so stop hiding the fact that you are a healthy person whose body expels food the same way everyone else's does.
You can't argue the fact that farts were made to come out, and oftentimes unexpectedly. It happens. If your S.O. can't handle that, then they aren't the mature human being that you should be building a mature relationship with.
It won't kill a guy to realize that, while our female bodies are very different in many ways (yes we have those fun things called boobs, we know) we eat food just like they do. We also all have intestines, and buttholes. We also get gassy, and yes, sometimes we have to poop.
Never hide. What’s the point in hiding, anyway? If you’re hiding any part of yourself from each other, your relationship isn’t as strong as it could be. And keeping in those farts can't be good for your health, amirite?
If he can’t handle a fart, he definitely can’t handle you at your worst. And loving someone for their flaws, when they’re at their worst, that’s the whole point of it all. You deserve someone who will love every part of you, but you have to give him a chance to.
Farts are hilarious. The truest lols. The sound, the smell. Everybody loves a good fart joke. The more you fart around each other, the better you’ll know each other. When your significant other farts in the most crowded bar, you’ll know it was him. And that’s a smelly secret you can share forever #couplegoals.
The more vulnerability you show emotionally and physically, the stronger your relationship will be. So fart, shit, spit, burp, love, fuck, fight, kiss, make-up, and together, you’ll take over the world.
Here's the bottom line: if you want to get to know someone, be yourself. Fart your farts. Poop your poops. Don’t pretend that you aren’t a human being.