It’s no shocker that times have changed. Curl up and watch some Anne of Green Gables with your grandma and you’ll laugh at how concerned the fair young maidens were about being married by 18. Now, our culture is much more supportive of waiting until you’ve traveled, had a career, etc. Having your first kid at 37 or 40 is no longer any big whoop.
In fact, if you marry young, most people will lean in and ask you, “But…why? Did you get pregnant or something?” And if they don’t lean in and ask you something like that, they’re probably thinking it.
In the last few years, the average age of Americans getting married has jumped up to 27 for women and 29 for men. For some perspective on that, the average age in 1990 was 23 for women and 26 for men.
Our generation will tell you to wait until you’ve had a life before you join yours with someone else’s. But, that’s not always the best advice, if you ask me.
I got married when I was 20 and my husband was 24 and I’m so glad we did. I’m not here to get on a soapbox and give you a list of reasons why you should marry young, because I don’t think you should. I think you should marry whenever it’s right and whenever you’re ready –whether that’s at 20 or 40. I do feel strongly, though, about people rejecting young marriage just because it’s not popular right now.
Marrying Young
When researching the topic, I expected to find most pro-young-marriage articles on faith-based sites, so I was surprised when I came across a Huffington Post article about the benefits of marrying young.
The article unpacks five reasons to get married in your twenties including, “It could make you happier, you’ll make more money (at least if you’re a man), you’ll have more sex, you’ll drink less alcohol, and there’s nothing to be gained from waiting – if you think you’re ready.”
Yes – getting married will grow you up. Until you’re married, you base all of your decisions on you and you alone, but when you join your life with someone, it forces you to learn how to be unselfish. You’ll probably do less partying and have a good support system in your spouse for the stresses and change that come with being in your twenties, but that last point in the article sums it all up best – if you think you’re ready, why wait?
Marrying in Your Thirties
Elite Daily put out an article listing reasons why no one should get married in their twenties. The reasons the author gives are, “You barely know yourself, you’re most likely not financially stable, you may very well feel like you haven’t experienced enough, marriage is forever so what’s the rush, and succeeding does get harder with age.”
These are all great points, really. It’s true. You do change a lot in your twenties. Now at the tail end of my twenties, I barely recognize the early-twenties version of myself. My husband and I were in no way financially stable when we got hitched. We had a total of $180 between the two of us. True story. And yeah, we didn’t experience adult life separately.
But.
I don’t think any of those reasons are good reasons to hold off, if you’re ready.
My husband and I didn’t “know ourselves” when we got married, but we figured it out – together. We didn’t have money, but we had fun. We didn’t experience the world separately, but we did experience it – together.
Twenty-something, thirty-something, forty-something – there are definitely pros and cons to getting married at any stage of life, but the bottom line is, when it’s right, you’ll know, and you should never base a huge decision like when to get married on what’s in style or isn’t.