It sounds ridiculous, but the less time you’re around her, the better. She has her own life and her own problems to deal with—she won’t be thinking of you when you’re not around. So, don’t remind her to worry about you. Avoid the house when she’s there—even if your boyfriend invites you over. Find somewhere else to go instead.
2. Don’t bring it up too often to your boyfriend.
The last thing a man wants to do is choose between his mother and you, especially at a young-ish age. If he’s still under her roof—he’s not going to move out and abandon his family to be with you, face it. You’re not going to win her over overnight so it’s not worth fighting with him constantly about it.
3. Only go to family gatherings when they’re a big deal.
If your boyfriend invites you to a family gathering, only go when they’re a lot of people, so you’re not stuck with awkward tension. Small family dinners (unless it’s a big occasion) are something you can make an excuse for. Big weddings and parties, well, there will be enough people there to avoid her altogether.
4. Let things slide.
Many of us (me) are very defensive when we’re insulted. There are big battles and little ones—choose them wisely. She may make comments about you and say things about you that bother you, but, if it’s not a huge deal, let it roll off your shoulders. The less you fight, the better it is for your psyche and your relationship.