When it comes to a relationship, there are three things that truly hold it together: communication, love, and commitment.
It’s easy to say that the most important thing out of these three is commitment because trust is something we really value.
Commitment is foundation. It’s what reassures us that the one we love is here to stay. It’s almost an unspoken vow but one that means even more than actual marriage vows.
That’s why cheating hurts so much. It betrays that trust, that vulnerability you took a risk to share.
It’s also why when it comes to relationships, most of us focus on commitment because we really want to make sure that we’re not wasting our time on unnecessary, anxiety inducing drama.
But even I as a commitment phobe have to admit that you can focus too much on commitment.
And that’s when love turns empty.
It’s when you’re too afraid to be betrayed, so you set up all these rules in your mind to guard your heart.
You have a lot of love in you but you don’t want to give it away because you fear losing it to someone who didn’t deserve it in the first place.
So you keep it to yourself and staple your person with high expectations to see if they’re worthy of it.
But the truth is, they’ll never live it up to those expectations and so there’s no love in the relationship. The relationship is really the person trying to earn your love which you will most likely never give fully and completely.
Because you have to realize at the end of the day, they’re human. They’re not going to always get it right. There will be fights, disagreements, and different opinions. They will hurt you.
But you know they care about you by how they reconcile with you afterwards.
It’s easy to focus on commitment in a relationship because you don’t want to get hurt, but there’s no point to the relationship if there’s no genuine, non-performing love in it.
And love comes with mistakes.
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