The energy it takes to hang on to the relationships that aren’t building you up are holding you back from living your life fully.
2019 is the year we all have to fall back in love with ourselves. A big part of that process is to say #bye to all the people that aren’t making us fully happy. Because there is a more extraordinary love out there that you would never know if it didn’t end it with the last one. But the extraordinary has to start with you – end things with the person who clearly doesn’t deserve you and watch how quickly new light comes into your life.
1. Almost Relationships.
Fuck that. No really, fuuckkk that. You give too much to receive an “almost.” You offer too much to waste your time with someone who gives you almost what you need – someone who is not yet ready for love, who is afraid to say too much, to feel too deeply, to let people know what they mean to them. Whatever their reason is for not being ready, you have to walk away. Because you can never ever convince or inspire anyone to do the work to be ready. And plus, you’re just too fly for that shit.
2. Constant excuses.
I get it, they’re complicated. They’ve been through a lot. They’re broken, their past, pride, demons, the fact that they’re weak or scared, is their validation for why they stopped fighting for you, making an effort for you, the list can go on and on. But at the end of the day, we all have issues. We all have situations that have broken us, that have given us every right and reason to make excuses for why we act shitty. But all that matters, in the end, is that we have a choice about how we’re going to treat people. Being enigmatic is never an excuse to treat people poorly.
If you find yourself constantly upset and frustrated it might be time to say bye, because eloquent excuses for why they’re acting like shit will only make you feel better temporarily, but at the end, you will be the one who will suffer the most.
3. Not being appreciated.
It’s not the thought that counts. It’s not enough how they look at you, what they think about you. People think it’s enough that deep down, they love you. But that’s never enough – the only way we can judge people’s true feelings and characters is through their actions.
Don’t forget, just because someone is with you, has ‘committed’ to you, doesn’t mean they have chosen you. They have to make an effort for you, appreciate you, fight for you. If someone is willing to discard your love for the next hit, willing to lose love because of their pride, fears, ego or selfish ways, show them the door.
Because someone will value how special you are – someone will put in the effort it takes to be with you. If the person you’re with doesn’t wake up and realize you’re worth fighting for, they are the one who will suffer the most, but you are still the one with the full power to say #bye.
4. One foot out the door.
Many people haven’t lived enough to realize how special a true connection is. So they have one foot out the door. They don’t realize that this ‘something better’ is all an illusion – just their ego talking.
Many don’t realize an extraordinary love or person when they see it, because they themselves have to do the work to be extraordinary. If someone is unable to see what is right in front of them, if they think easiness is good, that there’s something better, that the more chances they have, the better, let them go.
5. Inconsistency.
You know what I’m talking about, the ‘hey babe ‘I’m going to be super sweet toward you one night and then act like I don’t care the next.’ The ‘everything is going great but suddenly I’m going to pull back because I’m scared and complicated and this is too much.’ The ‘I don’t want to put in the effort that it will take to be with you, but I still like you and want to hook up with you so I’ll just half-ass it and do the bare minimum.’ No.
Not only is this a huge waste of your time, but it’s also super unattractive. Don’t let the mixed signals fool you. Indecision is a decision.
6. Selfish relationships.
My favorite. We all thought we wanted the complicated, mysterious “bad boy/girl.” This is also the person who pulls a 180 when everything is going great and tells you they’re in a very difficult time in their life, “I just can’t…I need space, I like you so much but this is very overwhelming for me…I like you too much, I’m scared.”
In reality, this person is just a narcissist, and after you constantly have to bend over backward and put your feelings aside because, you know, their inner world is just so deep and complicated, you’ll realize that the rush of the drama will get old fast when stress and instability starts to swallow your happiness.
Honestly, you’re too baller for any of that, and if you find yourself always being wrong, tiptoeing around them, listening to them for hours about how delicate and perplexing their emotions are, run away. They’re not that complicated – they’re just selfish as fuck.
When things aren’t meant to be, you will find yourself wasting so much of your energy trying to change them, fight for them, understand what went wrong. But sometimes, the best thing to do is just to let go, and watch how many greater things come into your life.