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The Story Of My Dad And Me

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They say a girl’s true hero is her dad. Even after he is gone he remains her hero. My dad became my hero late in life and now he is my guardian angel. Everyday I am saddened by the thought of not having him here to share things with and even more saddened by the reason why. So I’m telling my story in hopes that it may help someone else out.

My parents got divorced when I was little and my dad had visitations on weekends. After a while the visits became less and less until one day they stopped.

Me being so young I never asked any questions, I just assumed he didn’t care. As years went by it became normal to be fatherless and I never gave it a second thought. His mom ,my grandmother, was very close to the family and visited often until she passed when I was bout 12.

At her viewing was the first time I saw my dad in years and although he was already crying I could tell he was tearing up more from seeing me. It was difficult for me to even talk to him but I did. And though our conversation was brief I had this overwhelming feeling that there was something I was missing.

It wasn’t for another few years before I spoke to my father again. We started talking about life and catching up on everything. But for some reason I couldn’t muster the strength to ask why he left me, why he abandoned me. I was scared to know the truth. Scared that he didn’t want to be my dad, but now that I was grown up he was ready.

After a few weeks my emotions were to much and I was so scared of getting hurt that I stopped talking to my dad. I ignored all his calls and messages. It was hard but I felt it was the best for me.

There was a person who constantly told me things about my dad that were not good. I would always hear that he was a drunk, he never cared, he left me, he was horrible, and even he was dead. I heard this my whole life and believed that it was true, after all it came from my mom.

One day I received a message from a cousin telling me that she had to speak with me it was very important and about my dad. At first I was reluctant to inquire as to why, but I had a gut feeling that I should. So I did.

My dad was in the hospital and it wasn’t good. I was scared to go. After all this is the guy who left me and never looked back. But I had to, I wanted the truth once and for all. So I decided that even if it was the last time I seen him I was going to ask the questions that have been haunting me for years.

When I got to the hospital I was overwhelmed with all the love in the room. All my aunts, uncles, and cousins who haven’t seen me in years were there. I got more hugs then I could count and some tears mixed with I missed you so much, look how big you are, look how beautiful you are. I felt welcome. I felt loved.

My dad was laying there, completely out of it and not really able to speak much. I will never forget it, the whole first 10 minutes I was there I kept looking at him and not a smile, not even a small hint of a smile.

Once everyone got their turn for a hug and kiss and it calmed down a bit my aunt walked to the side of my dad’s bed and asked him if he knew who was there. He halfway shook his head no, my heart started to sink and I wanted to run out of there. But then she said “Frank your daughter is here” and he smiled. I couldn’t fight back the tears. I held his hand and I felt him squeeze mine back, he was holding my hand.

I spent the next few days going to the hospital everyday to see him and be there. And even though it was painful watching my dad during this it was a happy time to be reunited with my family.

I will never forget the day my dad passed. It was one of the worst days of my life. Just thinking about it, I cry. I don’t know why but for some reason after that I couldn’t help it, I had to start asking questions. I had to know the truth, I needed it.

After talking to all of my dad’s family and a few friends I finally got the truth. My dad loved me and he didn’t leave he was forced away by my mother. All the things she ever told me was a lie. I was crushed, my whole world was shattered. My heart was broken beyond repair.

After that I spent as much time as I could with my family getting to know them and them me. I asked any and every question I could about my dad. And I found out he was a great man, one that I wish I could have spent much more time with.

I have very few but very fond memories of my dad and myself when I was young thanks to pictures and home videos. I watched them so many times that I can play them all over and over in my head. I remember every detail and every word from each one. Those are the moments I will never forget.

And as badly as I wish my dad could be here now and we could make more memories, I know that he is watching over me and keeping me safe. I know he is looking down on me and I hope he is proud of me. I hope he is happy knowing that the truth came out to light.

I pray my dad knows that I forgive him and I don’t blame him for anything. I love him and miss him everyday. I just want one more day, one more hour to be able to tell him everything and to be able to give him one last hug and kiss. I pray he knows that all times I spoke ill of him I didn’t mean a word of it and I pray he forgives me for it.

My dad became my hero late in life and I regret all the missed time with him. I regret not asking questions sooner. My dad will forever be my hero. I will forever miss him and love him. Not a day has gone by since he passed that I do not think of him. And my children will grow up with the memories I have of him. I may be grown but I will always be my dad’s little girl, his nut nut, his butterfly.


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