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Things To Remind Yourself After Losing The Love Of Your Life

The pain of losing the love of your life is more than just emotional: it takes over your mind, your body, your muscles. It consumes you; it eats you. It shatters you to your core, and it breaks your bones and your heart like you never knew was actually humanly possible.

You can’t sleep, you can’t eat, you can’t function – even blinking is too much work. This insurmountable, unrecoverable torture that you have been forced to live through has left you limp on the ground, completely relinquishing all power or will to stay alive.

You want to run or sleep for the rest of time, or simply just stop breathing, but doing any of these will cause you to miss an entire day of grieving – an entire day of growth. Because as crazy as it sounds: every single day that you fight is a day that you become stronger.

1. Don’t ask yourself why.

The question why is toxic, and it will leave you feeling unfulfilled. Instead, focus on the positive: be thankful for things. How could you be thankful for this stabbing, aching, the fire inside your heart? Find something. Anything.

Be thankful for the time you were given together, be thankful for your health, or for flowers, or the color purple, or fried chicken. Eventually, you will be thankful for this tragedy, as it will become a piece of you – a piece of your long journey.

2. Don’t put yourself in a box.

Allow your process to just be: follow it, flow with it, trust it. Your heartbreak is your own, no one else’s, and you are the only person experiencing it. There are no time restrictions, rules, or schedules that you should be following.

There will come a day – and it will be sooner than you think it’s coming – where the majority of the day was good, and the minority was bad. And even if that ratio is just a 51:49 at first, know that there will be more and more days where your heart begins to mend its pieces back together.

3. And soon, the good memories will flood the painful ones.

Instead of feeling the longing, desperate-to-have-back kind of loss that you felt at first, you will find yourself thinking of your memory in a beautiful light.

I’m not quite sure, myself if the pain ever gets any easier – it just becomes different. It’s not like the hole in your heart will one day be filled again, but you will begin to live again. You’ll learn how to live and how to love again with your new heart – with the new shape, and weight of it.

4. As a fighter, your battle wounds will make you, you.

I know that my wounds have done that for me. And as horrible as it is: you and I, we are the same. We are survivors. And we hold an unfortunate beauty that not everyone has; one that we didn’t ask for but will learn to wear with strength.

We’ll find meaning in meaningless things, and beauty in nothingness. We’ll see people; we’ll feel them in ways that we never did before. Somewhere between what we survived, and what we are becoming, we will learn to live again.

And know this: our loved ones are free now. And we, too, will figure out how to be.