10 Things Your Toxic Love Taught Me

Love is complicated, but in the most simplistic way that it is almost incomprehensible. Here are ten things your toxic love taught me.

1. It should be easy.

I always thought I had to work for you to love me…That’s not the true love is something that you give to another person freely without conditions or double standards. You love them simply for who they are nothing less, nothing more.

2. Sacrifice & compromise is a two-way street.

I gave up everything to be with you, I compromised on my family and friends, sacrificed my dreams for your own dreams to be able to come true.

We make sacrifices for the greater good of our relationships. Not for your own selfish agenda.If you both don’t benefit from the choices you make then no one does.  You compromise to show compassion not to hold it against them later. there can’t always be a winner and a loser in love.

3. Controlling isn’t protecting.

I use to think how wonderful it was that you would watch out for me all of the time until I realized that you were controlling every aspect of my life.

It is one thing to worry about your significant other and want to protect them from harm, it’s another to decide which friends are good enough for them, how late they can stay out or even what they have on their phone.

If you love someone you let them be free, you are there to observe and support not to regulate and enforce.

4. No one is sunshine and rainbows.

When I had a bad day I never wanted to come home and tell you about it because you always made me feel stupid for feeling upset.

Love someone at their worst. There are going to be times that everyone struggles internally and externally. sometimes the only thing they need to know is that you are going to be there for them and that everything is going to work out in the end.

Everyone’s feelings are valid even if you don’t understand them.  As long as you stand by their side there is nothing you can’t do together.

5. The past is the past.

Everyone is someone else’s EX. I loved someone before you, and you punished me for it. If you can’t let go of someone past or even your own, you will never have a future together.

Live for today, and tomorrow doesn’t let yesterday’s worries or insecurities shape your happiness in the future. You can’t go back all you can do is learn from it and move on.

6. Sex is important.

You cheated on me, and your biggest excuse is that you were bored… Sex is half the game people and if you think it’s not then you are naïve because no one walks across the room to hit on you because they can tell how hot your mind is.

It is okay to have your own sexual prerogative to play and have fun and experiment, but communication is key. If you’re too embarrassed to talk about your sexual want and needs or even fantasies with your person then you might as well not get naked at all because bad sex is worse than no sex. Trust in that.

7. I’m not calling you a liar, but you better not lie to me.

You hid so much from me that in the end, I had no idea who you were.  Hiding something is the same thing as lying.

If you can’t tell the person you love the truth then you should probably rethink what your version of the truth is.  Nothing can damage a relationship more than getting caught in a lie no matter how small or how big nothing beats the truth.

8. The little things.

It was the little things that meant the most to me.  Sometimes it’s the little things that really matter in the end. Never forget to ask how someone’s day went, or to take the time to say how proud you are of them.  One small gesture can change everything. It’s remembering to pick up milk from the store or holding the door open.  All the little things add up in the end.

9. Hold yourself accountable.

it was always easy for you to blame me for your unhappiness or failures but the truth was you are the only one that is responsible for you.

Be accountable for how you show up in your relationship.  If you don’t put an effort in then you can’t blame the other person for their lack of.

You create your own reality and if you are having problems it’s a good chance that you are to blame, hold yourself responsible for the energy you put out in the world whether you’re at work or home or in anything you set out to do. Be there and be accountable.

10. Love Yourself First.

I never loved myself I only loved you and that was the biggest mistake I made I lost who I was to love and please you.

How can you even have a concept of how someone else wants to be loved if you don’t love yourself? Be kind to yourself, you are only human and no one is perfect.

Never give up on your own personal growth to please someone else. but if you can’t love your imperfections and be proud then no one else will either.