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To My Ex Who Won’t Leave Me Alone, It’s Time To Move The Fuck On

And then you’ll do the one thing that I can’t justify to my friends or myself: You’ll send me a text and ask me out. 

 

You change up what you’re asking me to do — dinner, movie, concert — but the subtext is always there: And you want to go on a date with me.

You have asked me out countless times. And when I ask why you always give the same answer: You still have feelings for me. And you aren’t sure you’ll ever be over me.

You tell me that I’m something special

 

You were always looking for me. And you’ve compared every single girl to me since. You can’t even make it on dates with new girls because their texting humor isn’t on the same level as mine.