I let you in, and I let you go. And it’s about time you let me go, too. I told you I didn’t want to keep you in my life in any capacity—something I thought I made crystal clear.
But how could I expect you to know that?
You weren’t listening when I said it, you weren’t listening ever. But I guess I’ll always be the fool.
When you like pictures I post, I make sure I roll my eyes and bitch about it to my friends for hours. I pretend I don’t feel the butterflies in my stomach.
I try remember the bad times. Never the good. When you text me, it takes every ounce of my being to not respond. And I don’t most the time, I’m getting stronger.
I liked who you were sometimes. But I realized who I liked was someone you were pretending to be. It wasn’t you. I never knew the real you. And I never will. Because I need to move on to something—someone, better.
I don’t have time to wait for you to change. I’m not wasting my time waiting for you to grow out of being a selfish jerk. I’m better than that, and you know it.
But here’s the hard part: I’m not saying you’re an asshole through and through. I know there’s a part of you, deep inside, that is a good person.
But you’re scared. You’re too scared to show it. You’re so scared of being vulnerable, that you push people away.
And that’s what tugs at my heart, reels me back in when I thought I had gone far enough away.
I don’t blame you, I blame myself. I could have ended it before I got in too deep, but a part of me wanted to wait for you to change.
Now, I know I have to be done waiting, I have to move forward. But it’s so hard to do that when we’re broken up, and you’re reaching out to me more than you did when we were together.
So, please. Stop.
Stop calling me. Stop drunk texting me. Stop emailing me. Stop liking my pictures. Stop apologizing. Just, stop.
I forgive you, but that doesn’t mean I want to be with you. Because whatever you do, no matter how hard you try, you’re not going to get me back. You’re only making it worse.
You’ll never become the man I think you can be—the man I genuinely want you to be, if you can’t move on from this. Please just leave me alone. Move on, and we’ll both be better people.
