I admire you for how strong you are. I commend you for not breaking down and crying, every time you see them or see their presence across social media. And I know on the inside, you are hurting, but you laugh about it and pretend not to care because that’s easier to do.
When you let someone into your heart and your life, they so simply become this extension of you, that it just works. You go from not even remember a day, when they weren’t a part of your life. Then suddenly everything shifts a bit, and you are forced to face this life alone. You do something good and you want to tell them about it. Something horrible happens, and they are the first, you not only want to tell but need to. Then you look at the phone, and you realize you can’t because you aren’t in a relationship. You’re single and when you’re single, everything in life, you have to face alone. Every event you have to go to, you don’t need a plus one, and if you got one, you wouldn’t even know who to ask. Because when you’re heartbroken, even company, makes you feel lonely when it isn’t the right person.
You think back to the past and you miss it. You think back to when things were good.
But then, after daydreaming you’re brought back to the reality, of this present moment. Maybe it’s a work day, that is going by slow, maybe you have finished your day and you just hate coming g home to an empty house. You just want this feeling to pass. You want the pain to go away. But it consumes you. At the moment it feels like you’re in the eye of the storm and it’s not gonna get better. They are every first thought when you wake up. They are the last thing you think of before bed. Then you go on without them. You put on your makeup and smile and master the brave face. If you’re face reflected what you feel on the inside, you wouldn’t look so pretty. But you are deceiving everyone.