Today I Lost
I lost you today. Yes, I lost you. I lost you without really ever knowing if I had you. And I’m going to give myself some grace as I try to get these words out. You’re going to be a tough one, period. Because I knew from day 0 that I was never going to win…how could I? And I need you to believe that I accepted that. But I still went for it, I had too.
Experience
Because I had to know you, I had to experience you. And my cliché response to it all – I don’t regret a single thing. Do you know that I love you? I almost blurted it out one of the last times we were laying next to each other and just laughing. I just remember being in that moment and feeling happiness and love that I haven’t felt in years, and I just wanted to tell you that I loved you right then, but I didn’t.
You Cared
I might never know how you truly feel about me, and I understand why. But I’d like to believe you cared. Actually, I know you did. And I know a part of you fell for me, even if you caught yourself. I know in this moment we’re not meant to be. I want to get over you and move on. I also want to know that you’re unconditionally happy. Nobody said that this would last forever, but I would have done anything to try to get there. But for today, I just want you to be happy.
Grateful
I can’t describe how lucky I feel to have gotten the time I had with you. You are an amazing human being. I hope you remember me, and the time we had together. I hope you know how much joy and pleasure I felt from you. I hope you felt it too. We were good, like really good. I hope you see yourself as I see you…for who you are, the compassion in your heart and that, ‘bring me to my knees’ smile.