Every single couple fights, it’s just what makes love real. But there’s a huge difference between the couples who just fight to fight and those who fight to make things better for them down the line. Because fighting when you’re truly and completely in love with the other person means staying up till 3 am, with tears running down your faces, over something that’s going to make you stronger as a couple.
So what is it that successful couples do differently when it comes to fighting?
1. They don’t run away when things get tough.
They don’t say “I can’t” and slam the door behind them. They don’t roll over and fall asleep knowing the one they love is silently crying in bed next to them.
Sure, it could just as easily be swept under the rug, but they’re not in a relationship only for the good times. They’re okay with losing sleep if it means calming the other down.
They stay up and hash it out no matter how late it gets.
2. They listen to each other with an open heart.
They don’t talk over each other or cut the other off. They start slow and take turns speaking, voicing their own opinions and truly listening with an open heart.
And they always think before they speak because they know how much it hurts to say something they don’t mean.
3. And they acknowledge the other’s point of view.
They find it in their hearts to genuinely take a step back and understand where the other is coming from. Empathy isn’t something every single person is capable of, but sympathy is a learned behavior.
It’s something that you can resort to in times of need and it’s something that actually solves a lot of fights.
They say things like “I see what you mean,” and “I know where you’re coming from” to ease the situation.
4. No matter how upset they are, they would never tear the other down.
It’s so easy to resort to name calling without even realizing by saying things like, “you’re being a real asshole right now” and “that was a bitchy thing to say.”
They refrain from any negative names like that because, at the root of it, they love each other with their entire hearts and would never want to hurt each other with such harsh words.
They also avoid sarcasm like the plague. In the middle of a fight they are their most vulnerable, they are baring their souls to the other, and wouldn’t stab the other with twisted words while they’re trying to open up.
5. And they know how to stay calm… or at least seem like they’re calm.
The worst thing in a fight is when it starts to escalate to screaming. That’s when you know there is absolutely no control left.
They know when they have to step away from each other for 10 minutes and reconvene after they’ve organized their thoughts. They know how to put their emotions aside and say ‘’I love you, but can we talk about this tomorrow?”
And they have it in their hearts to still sleep together as if the fight never happened because their love is so strong.
6. Even in the worst situations, they always give the other the benefit of the doubt.
Everyone is just trying to do the best they can, and when in a relationship it’s necessary to realize that. They don’t jump to conclusions or make assumptions about the other, ever.
They put their insecurities aside and hear the other out with an open heart and a loving mind.
7. And they never forget at the end of the day, their hearts belong to each other.
No matter how exhausted this argument leaves them, their love never tires. One fight doesn’t stop them from wanting to be together for the long run.
Fighting has only made their relationship stronger and built to last.
If this person is truly your other half, they’ll be willing to fight with you because if they can do that, then they’ll fight for you, too.