“My female friend once asked me what I say to a girl I’m interested in. I told her, “Hi, I’m Guy. I think you’re cute. Come around here often?” She was flabbergasted. “That’s it?? No, you’ve got to be smoother, you can’t just be that direct.”
This is a quote from Guyguides.com and it raises a good question: CAN you be that direct?” There is something to be said for the straightforward approach but some of us opt to be a bit more……creative. So, if you’re stuck for ideas on attracting the object of your affection (or just need a good laugh), here are a few ideas that range from clever to crazy:
1. Walk into a bar carrying a huge trophy. Wait until someone asks notices and approaches you. When they ask what the trophy is for, ask them to guess. Whatever they guess, tell them they’re right and you are instantly a champion in something they love!
2. Create fliers with a big picture of yourself on them. Make sure the pictures covers 2/3 of the paper. Underneath, list all of the qualities you want in a significant other. Be sure to include your address and phone number. Sit back and wait for potential matches to come to you. (Consider having the police on speed dial).
3. “Trip” and fall into the object of your desire. Complement them on a body part. Be prepared; make sure you have both something with which to record their phone number or bail money at the ready.
4. Grab their ass if you happen to be walking behind them. Note the above suggestion about bail money.
5. If your crush speaks another language ask them to teach you a few words. Start with words that are complements.
6. Approach the woman of your dreams, ask her if she drinks whole milk. If she says yes, suggest she switch to 1%. RUN!
7. Tell them they remind you of your sister (or brother). Insert awkward silence here.
8. If it’s a woman you’re courting, tell her she could be a movie star…reference Silence of the Lambs.
9. Tell them you can read their palm. When they give you their hand, write your phone number.
10. Bet them you can kiss them without touching them. Give them a quick peck, shrug and say “I guess I lost that bet!”
11. Ask them if they have any raisins. When they say no, say “how about a date?”
12. Tell them you’re doing a survey. Precede to ask them their name, number, and if their free on Friday.
13. Tell them the voices in your head would like a word with them…..
14. Creep up behind them with a handkerchief and act like you’re going to use it to cover their mouth. When they turn around, say “just kidding!” At your trial, plead insanity.
15. Walk up to them and say “I figured I’d introduce myself to you before you caught me staring.”
16. Approach a girl, grab her breasts and ask “Are these real?” Make sure your health insurance premiums are paid.
