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You Can’t Just Rip My Heart in Two Then Expect Us to Be ‘Friends’

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I am so angry that it hurts to think about it. I’m disappointed that you couldn’t trust me, upset that I can no longer hold you the way I want to, sad to think of something so good turned so wrong by your actions.

I don’t understand. Or maybe I do and the rational part of me wants to bury my feelings behind a wall and be your friend, only your friend.

But the part of me that hides like a wounded animal when you call wants to scream and shout and rage against the unfairness that was captured by your denial of what we were.

I can’t talk to you. I don’t want to. But at the same time, I want so badly for things to be back to the way they were. There is something inside of me that has been damaged and it hurts. I think about you.

I don’t want to touch you unless I can be with you, don’t want to talk to you unless I can be yours. Another part of me keeps sitting by the phone, waiting for you to call and take me back.

You’re making me into everything that I don’t want to be.

I’ve become emotionally vulnerable. Needing you, wanting you. My mind has lost its credibility in the face of this loss.

And you still say that you can be perfectly happy without a partner. Did I matter so little to you? Or am I being vain, another thing that I hate in myself, by assuming this has anything to do with me?

It must, though. I was part of what we shared. I was an equal. You liked me; I know you did too… unless every word that dripped from your mouth was a lie.

I’m trying to express as clearly as I can how I feel. Only then can I be free. Only then can I move on and seek a deeper connection with someone who is more worthy of my time.

About The Author

Danielle is a lover of all things. When she doesn’t have her head in a book you can find her taking advantage of long summer days hiking or camping with her dog Nora. Danielle is currently working on her Bachelors Degree in Homeland Security Management.


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