Today as a teacher, I walk into my classroom I think about the two teachers and 18 students that were killed in a place that should be safe. The place that they go to smile and laugh everyday. The place where they are growing and learning. As an educator everyday that I walk into my building, I know that there is the potential for something like this can happen.
As I walk down the hallway, I think about what my reaction would be, if I would be able to fight, or would I run? What if I had a student with me? What would I be able to do to keep my student(s) safe?
Unfortunately, I know that I am not alone in my thinking. I know that I am not the only one who has made a plan if something like this happens. I know that I am not the only one who thinks about how we would keep our classroom quiet in the world. I know that I am not the only one who prays everyday that my family never gets the call that something has happened to me. I also know that I am not the foremost educators who hope that being slain in my classroom and keeping my students safe is my legacy.
This morning walking into the building was hard. Getting my students off of their perspective buses or from their parents was even more complex. I know that they should not have to worry about this. Knowing that if they heard on the news last night about the Shooting in Texas, and they most likely did, it is not supposed to be like this. For some kids, the only safe place in school is the kids that make today a little more complicated. The hard reality of today is that we just do not know, and we cannot promise our students that school is a safe place to be. However, knowing that I would do anything and everything in my power to keep them safe. So here is the raw truth from an educator
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Dear Students,
Coming into school today is hard, but you did it! For that, we should all be so proud. In the coming weeks, we all know that we will hear about the lockdown drills and what we should do if an emergency arises, like the one in Taxes. I know it is scary, and we will all be a little more on edge. We will get through this together. No, this is not how this is supposed to be. You should be able to come to school and know that you are here and safe. Your only worry about the test that you are studying for or what your summer plans will be. There are no right words to put you at ease right now; this I know for sure. However, know that I will do everything to keep you safe when you come into my classroom. No, I know that is not enough. I also know that there need to be changed so that this is never a worry again. For now, let’s focus on what we can do. It is not enough, and it won’t be until this never happens again. For now, at this moment, we are safe, and we are here to learn. More than anything, I am here for you! Keep your head up and keep going.
Dear Parents,
Today you are sending your precious child to me. I know when you get them back, you will hug them a little tighter after you get them home when you can finally sigh in relief. When you woke up this morning, you went into that child’s room and looked at them peacefully sleeping, and you thought, maybe, just maybe, I’ll keep them home with me today where I know they will be safe. Thinking about the parents in Texas who are not getting the same sight you are right now! I understand that this was a tough decision, and I want to thank you for trusting me with your precious baby. I know that is how you still see them. I promise if a situation arises, I will do everything in my power to ensure that your baby makes it home safe to you again. I also know that this will be no small task. Just know that when you send your babies to me, I am doing all that I can to keep them safe and sound. I am doing everything I can to keep them growing, and I know that every other teacher thinks about this as they walk out of their house this morning. So thank you for trusting me with yo child and know that I am feeling every bit of your heartache today alongside you today and everyday.
Dear Family,
This is something that we think about often, far too often. Know that everyday that I walk into work I know that there is a potential for a tragic event to happen. It stays in the back of my mind. Today you are going to tell me that you love me and to keep myself safe. Just that is what I intend to do, not just today but everyday. I know that it all feels very real right now. Know that everyday that I walk into my classroom it feels very real. Despite this very real threat, I come to work today ready to do a job that I love and help the kids that I love. I also want you to know how much I love you! If something ever does happen I do not want my legacy to be the “Heroic Teacher that was slain protecting her student.” Mostly because this should never ever have to be a headline. You are so right I should never have to think about this when I walk into my job as an educator, but I do. Please tell the world about me and my life. Tell them that I was a college student who had a whole host of hopes and dreams to help children. Tell them that I was the best big sister and so proud to be that. Tell them that you had the most loving girlfriend even when I was hard on you. Tell them how I would drop everything to come help. Tell them how much I loved my fur baby and really felt like she was my child. Tell them how much I loved and hated to exercise. But do not let them call me a hero when I should not have had to be one. That was not my intention when I walked into work. My intention was to help a child grow, my intention was to help a child learn, and my intention was to help a child heal. Make those things my legacy. I love you all so much! Know that I am always going to do my best to keep my students and myself safe.
This was by far the hardest post I have written, however, I think hearing someone who lives this reality every day is so important. I hope that together we can fight for change so that no child or educator has to worry about walking into work and losing their life. Until that day there is never going to enough. Until the students and educators do not have to perform lock down drills, until educators and students do not have to look for potential blind spots in their classrooms, until educators and teachers do not have fear the screams in the hallways that should just be sounds of children being children. Until this day there is never enough.
Stay safe