I’m Actually Doing The Damn Thing.

I’m really doing this…

I am truly adulting and it is the weirdest thing ever.

Recently my fiance and I bought our first home together. Which is honestly a huge step for any couple…We officially have a mortgage, and homeowners insurance and we are choosing to spend the next 30 some-on years together. We both have “real” jobs, “fur babies” and planning a future together…

This is all so shocking to me because if you were to tell me two years ago that I would be with the love of my life, engaged and owning my own home as well as, being on a completely different career path… I don’t think I would have believed you.

You see, two years ago I was out partying and living life completely carefree. Now… no longer are nights of going out to random parties at midnight, drinking god knows what until god knows when. No longer are toxic friendships bringing me down and FINALLY… No more toxic relationships with different f*** boys, who had completely damaged my mental and emotional health.

Finally, I have found myself and I am the happiest I have ever been. I have grown into the person younger me would be so damn proud of.

What happens when you finally stop caring what others think and start living your life for yourself is weird.

I won’t sit here and say it was easy, hell, it was the hardest thing I have done. I let go of old friends I thought of as sisters, girls I talked to sometimes even more than my actual sister… When you spend so much time with people and then they are suddenly no longer there, it’s hard… but I knew it was for the best.

It was a very, very dark time…

Even though that time was hell, that’s when I found myself. Like the real me, not a form of me that was trying to make everyone happy, but me. I had a different glow to me if you will. It was noticeable and everyone was commenting on it. During this time I found someone who made me truly and genuinely happy. He made all of the heartaches I had been through worth it, from the first date I knew he would be the one, and look where we are now. A new house, two fur babies, and, an engagement ring later… We are doing the damn thing.

Like every chapter in life, it has its ups and downs, but the “ups” and the good times completely weigh down the downs. I don’t know where I would be if I was still the person I was back then.

I don’t think about it much. I don’t want to think about it, because none of it matters anymore.

To the girl who is too afraid to let go of the past… do it! I promise it will be the biggest weight off of your chest. Take a moment, take a deep breath, get up and just do the damn thing!

A girls guide to loving yourself through anxiety.

Self-care has been a major focus of mine in 2021. I am looking for more peace, happiness, and living my truth. That means taking care of myself. This is hard for those of us who are used to fighting everyone else’s battles and putting everyone else first. What I realized is that to keep up with all my responsibilities I have to put myself first. If I am feeling my best, it is easier for me to give my all and fulfill my responsibilities. However, we all know that we cannot be positive all the time. These are the things that I do to help bring myself back. Here are the things that I am doing to take care of myself.

Breaking down the time.

Sometimes the day is just too much. Let’s be honest sometimes it can be really overwhelming, so I have been trying to break down my time. Instead of taking on the whole day, I start to take on the hour. If that seems too much I take on the minutes. This has also helped me break down my to-do list. I have to work on being ok with not getting everything done, but this is a work in progress I am sure for all of us! Keep at it, and remember it will be okay and you will get through the rough patch.

Breath.

Breathing is something that I am not great at. When I am stressed I hold my breath which only heightens the anxiety and stressful feelings. This is also something that I am still working on. Recently when I have been feeling anxiety and it is becoming too much I take five minutes and sit in my bedroom in the dark and focus on breathing. This has been something that has really helped me and allows me to see that things are not as hard or as bad as they seem.

Exercise.

This is something that I have pretty much always been on and off with. I have been “on” with the exercise recently because I know that it makes me feel better. It gives me a win for the day if it has not been a great one. It allows me to give myself some much needed “me” time. It helps me to have more energy to get through every day. I find that the best time for me to work out is in the evening to end my day. I take a hot shower after and that seems to relax me and give me the downtime that I need to get the best sleep that I can.

Face mask.

Okay girl we both know that you have been eyeing that face mask that you have been wanting to try in the target beaut isle. Pick it up!! Yes, do it because you are worth that couple of bucks that you are going to spend on it. Make a night of it run a hot bath, light some candles, put on your favorite playlist, and put that face mask on. We both know that you will feel better about yourself. As you should because you are a queen and you should treat yourself because yes, life is hard but it doesn’t always have to be!

Take a Break.

This one feels a little non-authentic for me to be saying, however, this is something that I am actively working on. Working with children I cannot tell you how many times I have asked a child if he/she needs a break. So why shouldn’t I take a break if I need to? Sometimes emotions are too much and we need to take a breather to help us figure things out. This is okay. This is something that I am going to commit to doing more often. I hope you all will join me.

Get Ready.

Sometimes we all know that we would feel better if we just got up and got ready. Whatever that means for you. Take a shower and put some leggings and a big shirt on, pull your hair back and get to work on making your day great. Or maybe you need to do your hair and makeup put something you feel great in on and tackle the day. Whatever this means for you, do it. You can and will achieve things today, and you will be great. This also changes for all of us, so if today you feel like you need to feel comfy and tomorrow you need to walk the runway get it, girl. I am here to support whatever you need.

Girls Night.

Okay, so this one is hard right now I know. We are all socially distancing. But, we can make it work. How about video chats with some wine and good conversation. Do not underestimate your tribe! If you need them call on them and let them help you. Do not keep it all in.

Dance PARTY:

Throw your favorite playlist on, put some headphones in, close your bedroom door, and dance. Not only will it get you up and moving but seriously how can you be anything but happy when you are dancing. I am currently having a dance party while doing my hair and working on this article! Feeling pretty good over here! Thanks, Justin Timberlake!!

Walk.

My walks usually have a dog and leash with them. Today was a lot for me! So I put my headphones down (usually I listen to music while I walk) and just walked and reconnected with myself in nature. Yes, it felt off to just be still with nature but it was so needed.

Anxiety is hard to live with, I know. You never feel like it’s enough. The tailspin is so fast. Please do not stop taking care of yourself and remember that you matter. I know that it is not easy. Fight for the things that you need. I know you want to take care of everyone else, but that is not going to happen if you do not take care of yourself. Whatever your self-care is do something that will take care of you today!!

Sadly, This Is Why Not All Friendships Make It to Forever

Friends are vital. They sustain us, keep us going, and make us feel at home. Friendships are something we all have and need at different points in our life’s, for different reasons.

Flashback to the past. For some, you don’t remember their names and would rather not. For others, those were some of your best days and your best friends.

Fast forward to your present, where you’re finding time to make friends and be a friend. They never tell you how hard it is. They never mention that some days you have to fight like crazy to keep up with the old and make room for the new.

There are some friendships you’ll make in your lifetime that you’ll be forever grateful for. You’ll wonder how you even managed to get through life without ever knowing them.

These are the friendships you must hang onto. They make you better just by knowing them. We all need that friendship that reminds us what it’s like to be free and feel complete.

However, you have the friendships that you’re hanging onto by a thread. The ones you’ve stayed in because it’s comfortable and safe. The type of friendships that you constantly convince yourself to be in.

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49 Ways That Making Friends As An Adult Is Just Like Dating

Friendship seems so easy when you’re young.

You just kind of hang out with whoever is in your classes or lives on your street. But, then, when you’re older, friendships are more of an effort.

And, you have to really work to find the good ones. It can be intimidating, and it can feel a lot like, well…dating.

Here are some of the ways that finding new friends is similar to a first date.

1. You are extremely worried about making a good first impression.

2. You plan out your outfit and make sure you actually do your hair.

3. This is especially the case if you met first over social media.

4. You have a pep talk with yourself to go over appropriate conversation starters.

5. You creep their online profiles to look for common interests or mutual friends.

6. You are very careful not to accidentally like or comment on any of their pictures. Because, awkward.

7. You know you shouldn’t, but you get really nervous before you meet them.

8. You find yourself wondering how you ever made friends in the past because this seems really complicated.

9. When you finally meet, you wonder: “Is she a hugger? Handshake? Casual wave or salute?”

10. “No, definitely not a salute. Why would you even consider saluting?”

11. “You are the First Lieutenant of Awkward, honestly.”

12. When you finally decide to go in for the hug, you wonder if you have chosen poorly.

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