I Thought You’d Be Different, Turns out You’re Just Like Every Other Guy

“So that’s it, we’re breaking up. Except we can’t break up because we’re nothing.” — Gilmore Girls

 

It’s been a while since you last looked me in the eyes. I kissed you goodbye in the morning as I had many times before with the notion that I’d see you later. I had no idea the pain that would ensue in the next month.

 

It’s funny to think back about how truly blindsided I was. 

 

To think about how oblivious I was to what you were capable of doing to me. I was already vulnerable from day one; smothered by another relationship that had torn my self-worth down and made me feel small and worthless. Then you came along and somehow made that all disappear.

 

Even though I wasn’t your number one priority, you gave me the time of day. Slowly, you made me feel like I did have a place in your life. Though we kept what was going on strictly between us, you brought me happiness and made me feel like maybe I was worth it….maybe I was capable of letting someone into my heart again.

 

You’re Still My Favorite Yet Most Painful Memory to Think About

Every morning you wake up and you have to remind yourself of a few things;  remind yourself he chose her, remind yourself he’s not the guy you fell in love with anymore, remind yourself of the pain he caused when he completely shattered your heart and left you there to gather up all the broken pieces and fit them together again.

The memories come to you in waves, slowly at first making it hard to breathe and then all at once they pull you under the surface, engulfing you in them.

 Or at least that’s what it feels like. Heartbreak is messy.

It starts with staying up all night crying yourself endless rivers of tears, just to fall asleep and dream of him, locked in a constant nightmare.  It’s breaking down at three in the afternoon because you heard that song, the one he told you reminded him of you two. It’s not eating because the thought of food just makes you want to literally get sick.  It’s watching a movie and seeing something you so desperately want to tell him then remembering you can’t.  It’s remembering he isn’t your best friend anymore.

Guys, If You Don’t Want Us to Get “Attached” Then Stop Leading Us On

All she wants is stability. To know that her heart is safe in your hands. But apparently, that’s too much for you.

 

No, she’s not looking for a one-night stand. She wants something real with someone who isn’t going to end up hurting her just like all the others.

 

Is it really that hard to be honest, loyal, and upfront with her? She’s not perfect and she doesn’t claim to be but for you, she’d give you her absolute best. Literally, every human being has baggage, and she knows that. That’s why she’s so open to letting this be something with you.

 

And yet here you are. Instead of being real with her, you tell her you’re into her but don’t mean it. She never had a shot with you and never will, but God forbid you lose one of your ‘options.’

 

She finally has this feeling in her gut that you’re not going anywhere, that you’re finally her’s. And that’s when you disappear. No warning, no text, nothing.

 

She let her guard down for you, do you realize how hard that was for her? She doesn’t do that for just anyone and you took it for granted, you left her.

 

Being Heartbroken Means You Were Brave Enough to Love Unconditionally

It’s easy to fake a smile, force a laugh and portray an illusion that you’re “fine.”

If you’ve ever loved someone so deeply, and if you’ve been truly broken hearted over the same person who made you feel on top of the world.

 

Your perception of your own reality shifts, in the blink of an eye. You lose sight of everything that holds meaning, because the one person you held so dearly- seems to have become just a delusion of your memory. That pit in your stomach and that aching pain in your chest? It’s real.

 

They say it’s a proven fact that you can die from a broken heart..

like couples that have spent ages together and one passes, the other does too, shortly after.. because your emotions and even your body grows so accustomed to their beating heart.

 

How I started hating you.

I remember this day quite clearly, we were fighting once again because you swore I was flirting with someone else.

 

I was packing my stuff to leave and for you that was not fast enough. You came in the closet and pushed me. When I sat on the bed crying you grabbed me by my wrists and tossed me to the side. But you weren’t done there. That’s when you decided it’d be funny to pick me up and act as though you were going to throw me down the stairs.

 

That was just the first night it all started. That night I wanted to hate you, but I hated myself more.

 

The night I started hating you was the night you told me to kill myself. That was the night that all my emotions were hate for you. And you kept making it worse.

 

I kept telling myself as long as I didn’t make you mad we’d be fine. But not making you mad was harder then trying to catch a rainbow. I started hating myself after I spent countless nights praying to god that he would get me through whatever incident happened.

 

So by the night when you called me 12 times and texted me 20 and had shown up at my house beating at my door. Only for me to finally wake up and answer for you to out your hands around my neck because I was obviously with a guy and that’s why I didn’t answer. By that night I forgot what love even was.

 

And then the last night, the night you told me you did all those things just to scare answers out of me. That night I freed myself. Because that night I realized you knew it was wrong but you found humor in my terror and nothings funny about that.

 

I always told myself I’d never let that happen to me but somehow I let it. And I know tons of girls are just like me in that way.

 

No one really talks about how you hate yourself after going through that. But that’s the worse hate. You feel alone because no one understands. You feel helpless, and dependent. You feel like you’re not in your skin. But I pray someday I will make it without replaying one of those memories in my head everyday.

 

Because I know you carry no regret for the things you did to me. I look back and think about the times you put me through hell and realize you don’t care because you somehow justify it to make it okay.

 

The day I started hating you wasn’t the best day of my life because I still thought of you. The day I let you go was the best day of my life.

 

How the Guy Who Was Once My Heaven, Became My Hell

I still remember the first time we met.

You made me laugh, made me think, impressed me more than anyone else. You were something special, I never thought in a million years you would be mine. I looked up to you in so many ways, I trusted you more than in a hundred percent. I believed in you, I saw the good in you, I felt safe by your side.

You became the part of my life in a second and felt as if we’ve always known each other.

 

I was hesitant to let you in, I didn’t think it would be a good idea. I wasn’t ready for that. I wanted to fight against you, against us, with everything in. Even if I felt safe next to you, God did I want to kiss you back so badly, I wasn’t sure I could put my heart in your hands.

The Truth Is, Heartbreak Can Change You for The Better

Goodbye

Somewhere in the midst of our busy lives, our relationship took a turn- somewhere we went wrong, somewhere we lost ourselves a little bit. I didn’t want too, but I had too, I had to say goodbye and it took every ounce of strength in my body. It’s over now and all that’s left is the type of heartbreak that affects your soul.

I loved every single part of him, and he loved me the same way. I would’ve done anything for him, honestly, I think I still would.

 

How did we let our relationship get to a point where I had to end it? We went from having a love that so many people would kill to share, to slowly drifting apart, to eventually becoming strangers with memories.

 

I Told You That You’d Miss Me, Too Bad You Didn’t Listen

It’s funny now because I literally knew this would happen. I told you she was just a rebound, that one day you’d come back, tell me you miss me and beg for us to get back together, too bad you didn’t listen.

I knew she wouldn’t make you happy forever, but you didn’t want to hear that did you?  Honestly, just go get me a t-shirt that says “I’m always right” on it because damn I’m good.

Nice to hear from you, but it’s too late now. You don’t get to tell me you can’t stop thinking about me or that you made a mistake. You don’t get to just stroll in and out of my life whenever you damn-well please.

Because you did this to yourself. Not me.

 

The Honest Truth, was that I loved you.

The Honest Truth, was that I loved you

The honest truth was that I loved you but I left you anyway. You were there for me when I really needed you, even if it was wrong at the time. Even though you were my “dirty little secret” what you helped me through never meant more to me. But the guilt that I felt for how things came about was too much for me to carry.

 

The brokenness, trauma and fear from my past relationship stopped me from loving you to your full protentional. I’m finally out of that relationship for good, and I tried to explain it to you. Why I did what I did. I kept you in secret always, not because I wanted to, because I was afraid he would find out, I was so afraid of what he would do. Sounds pathetic, I know, but that’s how real it was for me.

 

7 Signs You And Your Partner Should Definitely Breakup

You probably clicked on this article for two reasons. One is that you think this is click bait and I have zero clue about what I’m talking about and are looking to troll me and my relationship advice for the entire Internet to see. Two is that you’re in a relationship where you are unhappy or borderline unhappy and want to know if it’s just you that’s feeling this way. If it’s reason one – go home. If it’s reason two – you’re not alone.

I was in several long-term relationships in my life where I overstayed my welcome. Sometimes, there are warning signs and red flags that are right in front of your face – waving in thin air – but you stay because you don’t want to lose something special – comfort. Far too long, people stay in relationships they are severely unhappy in because of being comfortable and, the fear of being alone. For these two reasons, we find ourselves settling – wondering what else is out there and is there someone better suited for me – and yet, we may lose opportunities to meet those someones because we are suffering in our own despair.

There are a lot of tell-tale signs that point to a relationship ending, but, some people don’t want to face the truth. But, when it’s there, there’s no denying it.

1. You’ve lost that loving feeling.

Sure, I just took song lyrics and made it a point – but it’s actually true. When you look at your partner and no longer smile right away or feel that “overcome with emotion” sensation – chances are, you’re falling out of love with them. You want to look at them less and when they come home from work – it’s just “whatever.” The more you fall out of love, the less love you will feel. We all know how it feels to look at someone we are in love with. We laugh, we get giddy, we smile and we become hot and bothered (sometimes). But, when you feel indifferent towards them, you’re going to begin to resent them eventually. Their qualities you once loved will become flaws and sooner or later – you’ll hate yourself for not ending it.

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