He Might Have Wounded Your Soul, But He Didn’t Dim The Light In Your Heart

He might have broken your heart but just because he failed to see your worth and didn’t appreciate your loving heart, doesn’t mean he gets to take away the best parts of you. He might have wounded your soul but he did not break you.

There’s so much more to you than what he took from you. He was just a chapter in your life you will recover from. You’ll be able to move on and start anew because the flame in your heart always flickers and gives you the strength you need to heal your wounded soul.

“Tell your heart to beat again. Close your eyes and breathe it in, let your shadows fall away, step into the light of grace. Yesterday’s a closing door, you don’t live there anymore. Say goodbye to where you’ve been and tell your heart to beat again”  

Don’t dwell on the damage that he’s caused. Don’t give them your time or thoughts, he’s not worth your tears, he’s not worthy of you, especially of your loving nature. He no longer has power over your heart and you should find relief in knowing that you’re free to be yourself again. You can say goodbye to the bitter, haggard person his toxic love turned you into.

You can now focus on healing your heart and on patiently waiting for the love that you truly deserve. Don’t regret giving your heart away to the wrong person. Never apologize for having the ability to love passionately and intensely.

Giving your heart to him doesn’t just come with negative consequences. Whether you see it or not, you’re learning from this, you’ll become stronger because of this.

Live your life with zero regrets because that’s the only way to live. Don’t blame yourself for what went wrong. It’s not your fault.  He missed out on loving you and his lack of commitment is not a reflection of you.

Right now you’re just bending but you won’t break. Allow yourself to feel the weight of your heavy heart but trust that the light in your heart will guide you and you’ll find your way out of this temporary darkness.

“A broken heart heals when we allow the healing to go as deep as the wound went” 

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The Douchebag Percentage Quiz

Take a deep breath and add up all that apply. Go!

10% – His friends don’t have a fucking clue of who you are and to top it off, he avoids at all costs to meet yours.

5% – He flirts with your friends or any girl when “you’re not looking”. Add an additional 5% for underestimating your intelligence.

5% – You’ve gone on a few dates when you suddenly find out that he’s got a serious girlfriend. But according to his logic, he’s done nothing wrong because… “You never asked if I had a girlfriend”

5 % – His ‘phone use’ is highly questionable and at times borders on inappropriate. He can’t, for his life, be a nice guy and instead has a roster of girls he’s in constant communication with depending on his ego level any given day.

10% – He refers to other girls he’s been with as; the psycho, the stalker, the crazy bitch, the obsessed, the fucking ex…But when you do the math: excessive ego + a dose of bullshit = he’s obviously the one with serious morality issues.

5 % – He’s constantly fishing for compliments, from you or any girl under the sun, which results in several posts showing off the many phases his ego goes through on the daily; the ‘gym shirtless selfie’ or the ‘I woke up like this half naked in bed’ are his favorites.

10 % – He tells you to lose a little weight or put on a little weight, or change your hair or anything about the way that you like to carry yourself because he has a type and you’re not quite cutting it yet.

5 % – He happens to know your ‘Achilles Heel’ and uses it against you just to get what he wants it, when he wants it, how he wants it. Dick!

10 % – He won’t shut up about how much money he has or how many expensive things he owns. Dude, nobody gives a shit about your car. Staaap!

5 % – He’s a pro at non-reliability: he won’t text for days, cancel plans with you at the last minute, he’s always “fashionably” late and always excuses himself with “Don’t pressure me, Babe, that’s just how I roll”

5 % – He’s a master at the Jekyll and Hyde maneuver. He’s the sweetest to you in the beginning, just so you think he’s a catch but after you sleep with him, he turns into the douche that he really is.

5 % – He’s a dick pic freak. Instead of a morning text, you most likely receive a glamor shot of his few inches of lack of respect. When did you ask for this?!

5 % – He has little interest in talking about anything remotely unrelated to him, so don’t be surprised if he already forgot where you went to school, or what you do for a living.

15 % – There’s a constant underlying rudeness to him. He’s quick to judge, criticize, undermine you and tries to manipulate any situation or people to his advantage because you know, he just thinks he’s better than everyone else, including you.

28 Signs Your Life Is A Romantic Comedy, Minus The Romance

Everything is almost right. You’re meeting cute guys in even cuter ways. Your friends are hilarious: every time you say “lol,” you are actually laughing out loud. And you’re clumsier than ever. In an adorable way, of course.

 

The problem? The cute guys never text you back. And when your hilarious friends actually give you good advice, you don’t follow it. Everything about your life is exactly like a romantic comedy, minus the romance. Because when it comes to love, your gut is at the bottom of the gutter.

 

1. You met a hot, adorable guy in an elevator the other day.

 

2. He helped you pick up your purse and didn’t even laugh at all the tampons and Tums he saw.

 

3. But he never texted you back.

 

4. Your first kiss with the last guy you were dating was in the rain.

 

5. . . . It’s too bad you were wearing a white shirt and your worst bra.

 

6. You live in a really expensive apartment. You can barely afford it, and it’s not fancy at all. It’s actually a totally run-down disaster.

 

7. And it’s always messy.

 

8. Your best friend is more quirky than you.

 

9. But her advice on love and romance? Terrible.

 

10. You’re extremely awkward, especially around attractive men. But not in a way that’s also kind of cute.

 

11. You hate this one guy so much right now.

 

12.  . . . He’s going to be your next boyfriend.

 

13. Your gay co-worker tells you what to wear.

 

14. And how to give a blow job.

 

15. But it seems that whenever you follow his advice, disaster strikes.

 

16. Like, when he told you to hum while you give a blow job, you hummed “Let It Go” from Frozen.

 

 

I Thought You’d Be Different, Turns out You’re Just Like Every Other Guy

“So that’s it, we’re breaking up. Except we can’t break up because we’re nothing.” — Gilmore Girls

 

It’s been a while since you last looked me in the eyes. I kissed you goodbye in the morning as I had many times before with the notion that I’d see you later. I had no idea the pain that would ensue in the next month.

 

It’s funny to think back about how truly blindsided I was. 

 

To think about how oblivious I was to what you were capable of doing to me. I was already vulnerable from day one; smothered by another relationship that had torn my self-worth down and made me feel small and worthless. Then you came along and somehow made that all disappear.

 

Even though I wasn’t your number one priority, you gave me the time of day. Slowly, you made me feel like I did have a place in your life. Though we kept what was going on strictly between us, you brought me happiness and made me feel like maybe I was worth it….maybe I was capable of letting someone into my heart again.

 

I Don’t Want to Have Kids Because I Don’t Want to Be like You, Mom

Some women grow up dreaming about being a mother.

 

They start as early as the first time they hold a doll in their tiny hands and quickly urge to mimic everything they’ve watched their mothers do to care for an infant.

 

Unfortunately, that was not the case for me, I grew up watching you, mom, you cared for me poorly and that quickly shaped my views on life and parenting. Yes, I had dolls growing up, but no mother figure to mimic after, so being a mother has never been something I aspire to be or that I remotely feel comfortable with.

 

Perhaps deep down I feel I’m not deserving of being a mother but maybe that’s a thought way too complex to explore or psychoanalyze at this point in my life.

 

Let’s be honest, mom, what do I know about caring for a child if I was never truly cared for?

 

The truth is, I don’t want to have kids because I don’t want to be like you, mom.

 

I Can’t Change Your Past But I Hope I Can Change Your Future

I know you’ve been hurt pretty bad in the past. I can’t begin to understand what it might have been like for you. Sure, I can have empathy and sympathy but every experience and every heartbreak a person endures is their own. You don’t need to tell me about it. It’s a conversation I won’t force but will happily listen if you want to tell me.

 

I know it makes you wary of trusting people.

I know you might not trust me yet. But when you question love, let me remind you that love hasn’t hurt you. It’s a person’s lack of love that has hurt you and caused you pain.

I hate that you’ve endured that but struggle makes you a better person. Pain makes you more human and getting through it has made you more beautiful in my eyes.

 

To The Guy Who Thought I Didn’t Deserve The Truth

“All the girls that you’ve run dry have tired lifeless eyes, cause you’ve burned them out…” 

I’ve sat and tried to process everything that has transpired since the day you left me again. My mind replays the story like a broken record and I’m struggling to make peace with the evil left in my head.

 

Daily, I must remind myself that the memories we shared were unknowingly filled with deceit and manipulation the entire time. A mistake repeated more than once is a choice.

 

You chose to lie to me. And you chose to break us. You chose to be unfaithful. 

 

Maybe you should know that I no longer trust anyone. That feeling of safety and security in the arms of the one I love, the intimacy of sharing every shattered and hopeful dream, the pure bliss of listening quietly to my lovers heartbeat, or the tender kisses to fluttering eyelids have all been tainted by the sting of betrayal.

 

Women Choose The Emotionally Unavailable And How To Stop It

Independent Women – Cause and Effect

A strong woman is busy, and she is self assured. Usually she is confident and takes great care of herself. So why on earth does she wind up with emotionally unavailable men? Why is it that independent women always seem to choose the emotionally unavailable men? 

Why Choose Emotionally Unavailable?

When a woman is independent she wants control over her domain. Her choices, really. And that goes for everything from when she goes to the spa. What she buys herself. And what yoga retreat she goes on, and even what she buys her man. If the man is emotionally unavailable, he tends to be less clingy and won’t take the same issues with a strong woman than say, a super sensitive guy.

An Independent woman will keep her boundaries. She needs these in order to breathe. So what if the guy she is having intimacy with doesn’t have high emotionally capacity. Last time I checked that is what girlfriends are for!

Our Upbringing

The cold hard truth is we have usually seen spouses within the domain of the home through our parents. And usually in a negative way. Meaning someone was a liability to the other parent. Emotionally, financially or both. So in some respects our financial independence is a result of that and a backlash to the “stay at home mom”, or Dad “who did not love” affectionately.  An emotionally unavailable relationship protects us from having a false sense of security.

The Setbacks

There are emotional setbacks to being such an independent woman. We lose our softness. Something that deep down, if we weren’t kidding ourselves we’d recognize. Women want to be loved and cherished. But to trust another to care for us, and someone we can depend on is SCARY. We don’t want that kind of pressure. And we won’t get that from an emotionally unavailable man.

I Always Put You First, But You Always Kept Me As a Second Choice

I was a young girl when I fell for you. Over and over, I let you hurt me and come back. Repeatedly, I came second to you. Only coming back when things didn’t work with your last relationship.

 

For so long, I talked myself into believing that it was some commitment issue of yours. I made these excuses – story-like ideas – in my mind that made me believe that I meant more to you than I probably ever did.

 

I vividly remember the days when you left and I would spend hours laying on the cold, tile floor just to feel something. My chest heaving with the pain that came with being second once again.

 

I’ve spent years instinctively looking for any remnants of you. Hoping that one day you would simply realize everything that you did wrong.

 

But sadly, I found myself wishing for things that wouldn’t happen.

 

Why You Should Never Settle

“There are no half measures in love, only all or nothing. And if it doesn’t make you tremble and go mad at the very thought of its absence, you should move on.”

~Beau Taplin // Move On

 

I think we’ve all let this world turn us a little bit bitter towards love.

 

I think we need to fight for the love we want. The take your breath away, butterflies in you belly kind of love. Nowadays people settle. We settle for mediocre.

 

It’s bullshit.

 

I want a love so passionate that I can’t think straight, I want a love that will consume me. I want to wake up every single day with you on my mind.

 

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