Tag: being-a-good-girlfriend

If You’re Going to Be a Perpetual Man-Child, Then I Can’t Love You

I’m not waiting for you to grow up anymore.

It’s crazy to see that in other states there are couples who are twenty-somethings getting married and starting their own family, and here we are at still playing this runaround.

I’ll be honest with you, I don’t get it.

I don’t understand what is so appealing about never wanting to grow up. I don’t know why anyone would want to avoid real life because sooner or later it’s going to hit you.

When it does, you’ll realize that it’s too late- that you’re too late. You’ll have missed your shot and you’ll be stuck living with regret.

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37 Reasons I’m the Best Girlfriend You’ll Ever Have

Best Girlfriend Award…

I’m not perfect, by any means, but I’m definitely a catch you should never pass up. If these 37 reasons why I’m probably the best girlfriend you’ll ever have, then you’re stupid. 

  1. I have a great sense of humor.

  2. I’m clumsy, so I’m a good source of entertainment.

  3. And I’m loving.

  4. I’m a pretty great cook.

  5. I promise (to try) not to poison you.

  6. I’m a great listener.

  7. No one will try to steal me from you.

  8. And if they do I’ll shut them down in a hot second.

  9. I’m a great cuddler.

  10. I’m always honest.

  11. I promise not to use your back to warm my feet.

  12. I’ll pretend you didn’t look at the girl with huge boobs…

  13. If you pretend I didn’t either.

  14. I’ll take care of you when you’re sick.

  15. I can pump my own gas.

  16. And I give kick ass back rubs.

  17. I won’t complain when you play with my hair and pull on a knot.

  18. The only drama I’m any part of is what’s on my T.V.

  19. I’ll always (eh, sometimes) have smooth legs.

  20. We don’t have to watch chick flicks.

  21. I’ll always smell good.

  22. I can be ready in less than 20 minutes.

  23. I’ll look cute in your shirts.

  24. My hand fits perfectly with yours.

  25. We get along great.

  26. We have a lot in common.

  27. Both of our families are dysfunctional.

  28. I know the difference between there, their, and they’re.

  29. And I promise not to hog all of the blankets.

  30. I don’t snore.

  31. I’m affectionate.

  32. I’ll let you touch my butt in public.

  33. I’ll let you pick the restaurant, but I’ll always tell you if there’s somewhere specific I want to go.

  34. I can find Waldo faster than anybody else.

  35. I’m not totally hideous.

  36. I’ve finally overcome a long-lasting desire be a cat lady for the rest of my life.

  37. You’ll never have to wonder how I feel about you.

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11 Things to Know before Dating the Slightly Jealous Type

We jealous girls get a bad rap, but we’re usually only jealous for a super good reason. Yeah, yeah, we all know that a healthy relationship is built on trust and all that good stuff, but look: we’re only jealous because people have given us reason to be jealous in the past. We’re trying to get a handle on it, but you’ve got to meet us halfway:

1. Let us know we’re safe.

Many people are jealous because they don’t feel secure in their relationship; but it’s not you, it’s us! We want to trust you, we just need you to put in a little extra effort to make us feel safe and secure. People who feel safe never need to go through their partner’s text messages.

2. Don’t tell us we’re crazy.

Ok, we can be a tad irrational, and sometimes jump to conclusions, but no one likes to be told they’re nuts. We’re not crazy, and we just know our worth and don’t want our feelings ignored.

3. We’ve been hurt before.

Jealousy rarely comes from nowhere. If we’re suspicious, we probably started out naïve—and probably a little too trusting. It’s not your fault that other guys are all lying monsters… but we can’t help it if we’ve had a few less-than-trustworthy lovers in the past.

4. It’s not always a sign of insecurity.

Maybe we just really like you! No one’s about to argue that jealousy is a winning characteristic, but hey—we wouldn’t be bent out of shape over someone we didn’t like, right?

5. We’ll shower you with affection.

Jealous people tend to overcompensate with fawning affection. See? We’re not mad at you, we baked you a cake! We should save a piece for that hot receptionist you say is just a co-worker!

6. No yelling.

We won’t yell if you don’t. If you get mad when we ask for reassurance, it just looks real suspicious.

7. None of that open relationship stuff.

Yeah, that’s not our jam. Don’t even ask.

8. We’re trying not to make a big deal out of things.

Well, you don’t want to date a doormat, do you? But really, we’re not trying to make a big deal out of the way you look at your roommate’s girlfriend. But it would help if you stopped looking at her like that.

9. Don’t hide things from us.

You need your space, we get that—but if you’re constantly telling us we can’t hang with your friends or look in your closet, we’re going to go crazy. And, as established, we’d really prefer not to seem crazy.

10. And, y’know, don’t flirt with other people.

Pretty simple. Yeah, we know that world is full of chill girls who don’t mind some harmless, extracurricular flirting… but that’s not us. Hey, you get to date us, and we’re pretty awesome, so don’t complain.

11. Just talk to us.

It’s corny, but communication is the most important thing in keeping love alive. Just be open and honest with us, and we’ll do the same.

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