We come from a time where if something was broken, we fix it. Not throw it away.” -Unknown
I believe in one beautiful marriage thanks to my grandparents.
I know in today’s society it’s hard to even keep a relationship going longer than keeping a fish alive. We have Tinder, where the meaning of falling in love has turned into a vain swipe of the finger.
Our society has given us a skewed view of love and marriage that isn’t true. Apparently, divorce is a way out, marriage is a trap, and the idea of being with one person for the rest of your life is not ideal.
I think our generation has lost the real beauty of love and marriage.
If we have this mindset all our life, that loving someone who we marry is optional, we start to believe it. And the marriage that was supposed to be “till death does us part” becomes a reflection of it.
Growing up, as I watched my grandparent’s marriage, I’ve come to believe “forever and always” might actually be true.
I’ve always aspired to have a marriage like my grandparent’s.
They just celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary… and counting.
They taught me love is real and true love is lasting.
Marry your best friend.
Friendship is key. As cliche as this sounds it is the absolute truth. From the day you say I do to 60 years later you are still able to laugh together. How rare is it to have someone who will make you smile most of your life? Laughter makes life and marriage beautiful and lasting.
Have different interests.
My grandma loves art and my grandpa loves music. Two different things can come together.
My grandpa will invite me into his office and we will listen to Frank Sinatra for hours while my grandma will show me her art she’s painted and baskets she weaved.
They don’t need to do everything together all their lives. They find simple pleasures in life that are separate from each other.
To love a good man, you need to be a good woman. And vice versa.
Who we are is a reflection of who we love. We admire their kindness, compassion, and sense of self. What we lack they have. We learn to be a better person because of them. We learn to love this individual in a way no one ever can.
Bicker, do not fight.
My grandparents have disagreed on how to make a sandwich for sixty years. Sixty years of love and happiness and, of course, petty bickering. You do not give up on love because you do not agree on something. You call each other incompetent, laugh about it, and get over it.
You do not hold a grudge or point out their flaws. You simply get over it, because any time that you spend disliking each other turns into resentment. Marriage isn’t built and cannot last on resentment.
Life has a way of taking away our happiness and then giving it back to us in a fierce repeating cycle. The days when it seems most incapable to love are the ones when you need to love the most.
You get to choose every day to love this person for the imperfect person they are.
Never give up.
When all you can afford to have for dinner is potatoes and onions, it could turn into being one of your most special nights together. It’s not the quality of the dinner or the quality of the date, it’s just about quality time.
And spending that time with your best friend. Hard times will surface, but how you react to them and how you overcome them matter the most.
Forgive each other
A heart that cannot forgive is one that cannot love. Forgive them and keep forgiving them. Sixty years is a long time to not be able to forgive someone for their mistakes, their past, and their faults.
Life and love is a gift
And having a life full of love is an even more precious gift.
Times were not easy then and they do not get any easier. Falling in love, starting a family, and creating a life together is a gift and it keeps giving generation after generation.
