“Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy,” –Frank Sinatra
Come on girl you got this…
Let’s give it a try
Ready. Set. Go.
God dammit you’ve already fallen.
No, chasing your shot with that beer probably isn’t a good idea
I really wouldn’t suggest that second shot
Or the third
For the love of God, please put your wallet away…
Don’t buy everyone shots…
No, I don’t care if you guys like the same color.
You are gonna wake up with no money tomorrow.
Please don’t challenge the biggest guy in the bar to a drink off…
You’re gonna lose…
You won…
I admit, I’m impressed.
And we are about to enter planet blackout…
No, she doesn’t want to hear about your ex…
Please stop talking.
For the love of God stop crying…
Man the f*ck up and deal with this…
No, not by taking another shot.
You don’t need to give the bartender a 70% tip…
Even if he’s a good guy.
And that person in the bathroom isn’t your new bff
Being drunk is not an excuse to eat garbage.
You’re gonna see that on the scale tomorrow…
For the love of God, please go back and join the people you came here with…
These strangers want you to go away.
You fell again…
Walk it off.
Put the phone down.
You’re really gonna regret that snap story tomorrow…
What are you even texting and to who…
That’s not English.
And you haven’t spoken to that person in 6 years….
Why are you calling them?
If they know what’s good for them they won’t answer.
I would really appreciate if you stop eye fucking that guy across the bar…
Okay at least get a drink or two out of him.
Now walk away.
Oh, thank god your friends found you…
Please go home safely in the uber and STFU
Why on earth did you just give him a $20 tip in cash?
Please, I beg of you just go to bed…
We’ll talk about this tomorrow.
“It’s like gambling somehow. You go out for a night of drinking and you don’t know where you’re going to end up the next day. It could work out good or it could be disastrous. It’s like the throw of the dice.” -Jim Morrison
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