To My Friends Who Supported Me When I Was In A Dark Place

Thank you. I know it wasn’t easy for you to see me like that. Someone who once smiled brighter than the sun to a person who struggled to talk. I wasn’t the person I had been a week ago, and I know that it’s hard to understand how things can change overnight, but you did, and you didn’t question it. I was in a dark place filled with sorrow, pain, and self-loathing—so much self-loathing. I couldn’t understand why I was drowning, and the thought of coming back up for air was impossible. But you were there. You saw past the fake smiles and the “I’m okay” and listened when I dared to talk.


I kept waking up thinking that this would be the morning I felt like me again, but every morning that passed seemed to grow darker. Until one morning, I saw the light. To my disbelief, it wasn’t bright and seemed so far away, but it was there. It’s been two weeks, and three days since the moment I stopped being that girl. The girl that called her friends to check in, the girl that smiled at her neighbors she loathed, the happy-go-lucky ray of sunshine that saw past all the bad in life. I know two weeks and three days doesn’t seem like a long time, but it felt like an eternity to me. But you were there; you have always been there even when I didn’t feel worthy of that kind of friendship. It’s hard to believe that my own body and mind could handle that type of raw emotion, but it’s over now, and I’m ready to be me again. I won’t be the same girl I was before because that type of darkness changes you, but I’ll be a better version of myself. A version of myself that is courageous and strong. A version of myself swam to the surface towards the light and now breathes a fresher air. 

I don’t know how to thank you for the support you gave me during that time, but please know how grateful I am for your friendship. I am out of that dark place now. 

Friendships aren’t easy, they take a lot of work.

You both have to put in the effort. If you don’t, it’s really easy for the friendship to fall apart. Here are just some things I’ve learned about friendships:

 

• Not everyone is your friend. I know, it’s hard to believe right? You spend so much time around certain people, and you feel like you formed a connection. The reality is that half the people you meet in your life, aren’t really your friend. They aren’t the people that will be there through the good and the bad times.
• Friendships work both ways. If you want the friendship to work. You both have to want it. It’s important that everyone makes an effort in the friendship. Your friend can’t come home sometimes? Make some plans to meet up half way, or see if you can go to your friend. Last minute plans come up? That’s okay! Just make sure that you both find a time that works best for you.
• Friendships go through hard times. Nobody said friendships are easy. They did promise the friendships are worth it. Of course friends will have their fights. Nobody is perfect, and we are entitled to have flaws. We have feelings just like everyone else.
• Always be honest. I know that one is rough. You never want to hurt your best friend, but honesty is always best. You should both feel comfortable enough to have serious conversations. Don’t be afraid to hurt each other’s feelings. It’s normal that being honest may result in someone feeling hurt.
• Always say I love you. You never know what someone is going through. Check up on your friends from time to time and make sure they are okay. Remind them that you love them and that you aren’t going anywhere.
• Make the best memories. Go on a road trip, go camping, visit new places. You only live once, have the adventure of a lifetime with your friends by your side.

 

Friendships are important to have. Sometimes it’s not easy to make new friends either. Get involved in group activities. Include some outside people into your circle. Hold each other accountable for what you are trying to do with your lives. Friendships go through ups and downs, it’s a part of life. However, don’t let life get in the way of having a good time. Love your friends wholeheartedly and let them know you will always be by their side.

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About The Author

My name is Missy, I am 29 and I love to write. I write about mental health, relationships, friendships and life in general. I’m just your typical girl who loves to be adventurous! You can find more of my stories here.

How To Support A Pregnant Friend

Being pregnant is one of the best, yet most difficult states a woman can be in. Therefore, it is our duty as her friends to try and be as supportive as we can, and help her through those times.

If you are unsure how best to support your friend during pregnancy, here are some useful tips.

Don’t be frank about childbirth

Whatever you do, do not tell her about your horror birth story, or the one that you heard from a friend. Birth is scary as is, and during pregnancy, women are fed with statistics, and information about what can go wrong with their baby, and the least they need is someone adding to their fear.

Stressing out a mom-to-be is not good for the baby, and you might even end up losing a friend if they do not want to hear the negative sides of the pregnancy.

Stick with the usual by telling her that it isn’t that scary, or that once she holds her baby, all the pain goes away.

Let them be naive

First time parents are always naive. They have no clue what’s in store for them, and better yet. They should wear their look through rose-colored glasses for as long as they can, and enjoy their pregnancy. If they tell you something like “How hard can babies be, anyway? They just eat and sleep.” you just smile and nod your head. If they compare having babies with having baby pets, do not hold it against them, and forget they ever said that when they have the baby.

Give her a complete maternity bag list

A maternity bag list is a little challenging to make if you have no idea what you need. Things like lip balm are not the first item to come to mind when packing for the hospital, but it is one of the most essential.

If you want to support your friend, make a detailed list of all the things they need, and write explanations for items that may not be as common.

Or better yet, go to that friend, and pack their bag with them. They will certainly appreciate your help, and not have to bend over to pack everything they need for the most important stay of their life.

Treat her before the baby comes

As a pregnant woman, you can’t do many things. So, those few things that are available are important. You can make her an appointment for a nice foot rub, or a face massage, something to soothe her and wipe away the stress.

Or you can treat her to some food tasting, or even some wine tasting if the doctor approves.

Take her shopping

One of the most exciting things you can do for your pregnant friend is taking her shopping! Buying all the cute baby clothes for her little one will inevitably make her day. Additionally, you will help her with choosing clothes that are necessary, and avoid piling up on the things that the baby will not even need, or will grow out of quickly.

It goes without saying – carry all the bags for her, and take her for a celebratory cake at the end of your shopping spree.

 

Plan the most amazing baby shower

Most first time moms don’t really know what they need for the baby, and a baby shower is a great help for that. You can invite all her friends that are already moms, and know what a new mom can use, and don’t forget to invite her mom, aunts, and grandmas.

Sit with your friend and ask her what she would like the theme to be, and don’t accept no for an answer. Most moms think they are being too much for wanting a baby shower, but if you cave and miss out on throwing one, she will regret it.

Get balloons, finger food, favorite snacks and ice cream, and make it a cheat day when all the cravings are totally fine, and she can enjoy it endlessly.

Having a pregnant friend means sharing all the great (and the not so great) moments with them. Hopefully, these tips helped you understand what kind of friend you need to be.

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About The Author

Jasmine Anderson is a Sydney based lifestyle blogger and a toddler mom, with a Fine Arts Bachelor’s degree. Expressing herself through different mediums is what keeps her spirit bright. She loves to spend quality time with her family, go thrifting, and spend just a little bit too much time on the internet.  You can follow Jasmine on Twitter

22 Times Your Roommate Saved Your Life

College ain’t always easy. But if you’re lucky, your roommate might also be one of your best friends in the world. And that makes things a whole lot easier. She saves your life on the regular, and you can’t thank her enough:

  1. She agreed to go out with you, even though she’d already settled in to watch The Mindy Project in her pjs, because you needed your bestie to be your wingman and/or emotional pillar.
  2. And then she totally didn’t complain when you ditched her for that cute DJ the second you got to the party.
  3. She let you have the room later that night, after you’d dragged her out and then ditched her. Bless.
  4. But when you just needed to stay in for the night, she was right there with you to make nachos and combine all your blankets into a mega fort.
  5. All those times she made you laugh so hard you might have peed a little.
  6. She let you borrow that perfect dress when you just had nothing to wear. Well ok, she forgave you after you borrowed her dress without asking first. That’s what best roommates are for.
  7. She also forgave you for all the make-up, shoes and granola bars you “borrowed.” And for that one time you accidentally wore her underwear for a full day.
  8. And She understands that you need to live-text her second-by-second updates to get through awkward social situations.
  9. She also understands exactly what your texts mean, even when it’s just the nail-painting emoji ten times in a row.
  10. She was psyched about Facebook stalking the cute DJ with you, even though she had a paper to write, because your hypothetical love life is more important to her than school.
  11. When she took the time to be your mom. Whether that meant getting you medicine, or cupcakes, or just plain telling you to stop whining and get over it.
  12. And when you couldn’t get over it, she was a shoulder to cry on. Always.
  13. When she gently explained that your fringe crop-top looked heinous and you were not pulling it off.
  14. She routinely forgave you for being an undisciplined slob and leaving your crap on her bed.
  15. All the times she let you vent. About your evil professor who hates you, about your acapella group drama, about boys, boys and more boys—she was always ready to listen.
  16. All the times she offered you spot-on, thoughtful advice, and never accused you of reading too much into text messages.
  17. And then when you ignored all her advice and ended up in tears, she never said “I told you so.” Not right away, at least.
  18. She was your biggest relationship cheerleader, even when your beau was hanging out in your room way too much.
  19. But when things went sour, she was the first to tell you that DJ guy was a total douche, and that she’d always known you deserved better.
  20. She took care of you when you were trashed. She didn’t laugh when she caught you rocking out to The Spice Girls. Basically, she never let you feel embarrassed when you were around her.
  21. When she totally covered for you. If you needed to pull an early exit, or get a clingy guy off your trail at a party, she was always there to be your bodyguard/mama bear/fake girlfriend.
  22. All those times she was just the best best-friend-roomie anyone could ever ask for. She let you be you, and she made sharing a tiny space an amazing bonding adventure. Let’s hear it for all the life-saving roommates out there.      Header Image Source 

My Favorite Little Humans Call Me Auntie

No, I did not give birth to you, and no I am not your mother but I promise to love and care for you when your mother can’t be around. I promise to always have your back and to protect you like a big sister, and I promise to keep your secrets like your best friend. 

When you guys came into my life I had no idea what it meant and what it entailed to be an aunt. All I can say is that it has been one of the best experiences of my life. I feel so blessed to be able to be apart of it all. You make my life bright, exciting, and oh so interesting! There is always something to be excited about and something to explore and investigate. 

 

You keep me young

Being able to watch each of you grow as a person has been one of the most rewarding experiences I have yet to encounter. It seems like yesterday you were all just tiny babies, and crazy little toddlers but now you are all your own person. Each with a completely different and unique personality. 

I have to say, it was cute and kinda fun when you guys were babies. Dressing you up in little outfits and dancing in the kitchen with you on my hip but as you guys have grown I have been able to have so much fun with you guys! I love being able to play games with you and watch how competitive you can be with your sisters. 

The older you get the more I’m going to be able to do with you guys and I honestly can not wait but on the other hand… Please, please, please don’t grow up! I’m begging!

 

It’s a vicious evil, you know?

I can’t wait to watch you grow up into the people you will be, but on the other hand, I want to keep you as young as I can. I know it’s inevitable, you are going to grow up in a blink of an eye but you guys are always and forever going to be my little babies. 

Yes, even as a teenager and a grown-up! You will still be my little babies, Forever!

To my big sisters, thank you for giving me my little best friends, I promise to look after them, to care for them, and to love them as if they were my own. Thank you for giving me my favorite title. I appreciate it more than you will ever know.

 

Jewelry for All the Loves in Your Life

Remember when you were a kid and you gave Valentines to everyone in your class? That’s how I celebrate Valentine’s Day. A few years ago, I began hosting a dinner party on Valentine’s Day that includes a mix of gay and straight couples and singles and the common thread is “people I love” and now the dinner is one of my favorite traditions. I make a diets-be-damned dinner and we drink a little too much (for a weeknight, at least), share stories, and crack each other up. I think it’s so much more fun to celebrate love at a full table than with just me and my guy. 

 

But this year, a dinner party is out of the question (I live in NYC, it’s too cold for an outdoor substitute!) and Valentine’s Day will be dinner à deux with my boo. He’s wonderful, but I miss celebrating my friends, so I’m mailing real paper valentine cards and sending gifts, too. I founded a jewelry company, mazi + zo, so naturally I’m sending gifts of gold. Here’s a guide to my favorite not-hearts-again jewelry this season: 

 

For your bff who’s been there through thick and thin, I suggest a delicate charm necklace that shows how well you know her. What’s her Zodiac sign? We’ve got those. Does she drink red or white? We have both (we also have martinis, champagne flutes, margaritas, and a beer charm.) For fashionistas, we’ve got three styles of sunglasses and a cowboy boot. Does she love the water? Try a starfish, sailboat, or anchor from our “Vacation Vibes” collection. Social media obsessed? How about a hashtag

For your sparkliest friend, lightweight threader earrings are the way to go. They’ll dance and shine whenever she moves and draw attention right to her beautiful face. I receive compliments from strangers whenever I wear my kite threader earrings and you can wear them so many different ways to mix up your look. I like to “thread” them through my third and fourth holes and wear studs “below”, and they also look great on their own, worn long in front or back! In addition to kites, we’ve got double stars, lightning bolts, and crescent moons so pick the one that matches her style.

For the classic babe, try a delicate initial charm necklace or a pair of simple star stud earrings (we call these the little white tee of jewelry!) Or maybe a cross or Star of David is more her speed? Our classic collection features a minimalist crown, tongue-in-cheek “diamond”, an anchor, arrow, and more! 

For a versatile and timeless gift option, you can buy tennis bracelets online to suit any style and occasion.

Of course, if you want to go with the traditional hearts, we’ve got them, too! 

 

(I know, no ideas here for the guys. Our jewelry is just too tiny for most men. I like to send “consumable” gifts like booze, sweets, and meats and Goldbelly and Mouth always have tasty options from independent makers (those sites aren’t compensating me, I really use them! Of course, if they wanted to send me Jeni’s ice cream…)

 

Wishing you a fantastic Valentine’s Day full of love, laughs, and jewelry!

About the Author

Lizzy Klein lives in NYC and is the founder of mazi + zo, a company that makes jewelry that ups your personal style with original high quality easy-to-wear, easy-to-layer designs. Find your favorite style for gifts and for you at Shop mazi + zo!

 

I Have The Internet To Thank For My Best Friend

They say the best people come into our lives unexpectedly. Call it fate, call it destiny, an act of god if you will. These people will pop up LITERALLY OUT OF NOWHERE and then BOOM! They mean the most to you, and now you can’t picture life without them.

What I feel is really unique about these people is that you come across them in places you would never expect. For some, it’s friends you meet at camp when you’re younger, others, it’s on a vacation. For me, though it was surprisingly the internet, of all places the world-wide-web. 

Do you ever go on Facebook, Instagram, or Tumblr and see these random articles that you can lowkey relate to? Well, same! One day while I was bored out of my mind I was curious about how these companies find their writers. So I did what any curious person would do and googled it. Turns out anyone can really write for them, so I took a shot in the dark and applied.

To my surprise the next day I got an email back asking me to join. I was then told that I would be placed on a team of writers. It’s pretty cool, my team is kinda kicka**. It’s a bunch of young women who are so incredibly smart, intelligent, beautiful, and unique in their own ways.

One of these girls and I hit it off from the very beginning, that girl was actually my editor. The girl who took me on as a new writer. As time went on, I continued to grow with the company, as well as my editor. Until we were both paired together as editors to lead a team.  

You would think that two girls who live only an hour away from each other would see each other all the time, well… if you thought this you would be wrong. By the time the two of us became close one of us had moved to Florida while the other lived back home in NY making our friendship a long-distance friendship. Trust me when I say this is one of the hardest things ever! 

When we think of our best friends we think of someone who comes over every week to watch the bachelor with us or our go-to person for Friday night adventures. Well, in this case, your best friend is a couple of hundred miles away. They can’t be there every Friday night, which is completely fine because when you finally do get to see them, it makes you appreciate that time with them so much more!

This is where the internet comes in handy, social media, facetime, zoom, and phone calls as well as many texts are sent between two besties who live in completely different states. These things that seem so simple and things that we take for granted are the very things that keep us together even when we are apart.     

We may have only met a handful of times but it’s like we have known each other for years. I don’t know what I would do or who I would be without my best friend.

 

10 Things You Need To Do With Your Bestie This Fall

You and your bestie literally had the best summer ever! And you’re now so ready for the Fall season. Pumpkin everything is what you’ll see everywhere starting now, so…

1. Before you indulge yourself with your first Pumpkin Spice Latte of the season…

…You and your bestie should enjoy your very last, extra large, ice coffee brew and make the last sip be your official transition to the Fall, as you recap all the memories you made together during the summer.

2. You both know that It’s definitely time to move on from your summer flings.

You’ve talked about it A LOT, and deep down know they’ve run its course. You’re both so ready to cozy up with the new flavor of the month, so be blunt little hoes with each other and encourage a little slutty behavior next time you’re out. Go get the new guy!

3. But if you happened to have found real love during your summer fun.

First remember, ’Chicks over Dicks’ then make sure you take advantage of a nice chilly night under the covers to tell your guy  “I love you” for the first time. Be ready to text your girl first thing the next day, as you promised her to give her all the deets, and she’ll be there for you no matter what happened.

4. Make Halloween plans like right now.

So whether you decide to spend it low key, watching horror films while stuffing your faces with mini KitKats and Candy corn, or going all out at a costume party with friends. Start planning and  “Trick or Treat” yo self!

5. You’ve been probably talking about new hairstyles all summer, so have fun with a little change, be the color or length.

Whatever matches your personality and goes well with the cool autumn vibes. You know you’re dying to cheer each other’s new kick-ass style.

6. You might also wanna update your makeup bag.

Another trip to Sephora is calling your names, so go and have fun watching all the pretty colors that are gonna look so good on you this fall season. Speaking of pretty colors, this Fall you should definitely get…

7. Sweater weather matching sweaters…

…because you both wanna be comfy AF while you binge-watch your new TV show pick on Netflix.

8. Hearty soup anyone? You might suck at cooking or be a master chef wannabe.

Whatever it might be, Fall calls for soup, so plan out a night to make it from scratch or order it from your fave restaurant in town. Either way, pair it with a nice glass of wine and enjoy every spoonful while gossiping the night away.

9. Fall is typically when the unexpected case of the blues hits hard, so like each other’s ride or die, make sure you make it a point to be there for each other a little extra every day during this season.

After all, you’ll take a bullet for your bitch and…

10. Every season is a good time to make a bucket list together and celebrate that you’ll always be best friends forever.

Dear BFF, someday I will find the LOML, but you’ll always be my soulmate

BFF

As cliche as it may be, you are my person.  You are my crazy nights and sleep ’til noon Sundays. You carry me through my chaotic life. You see my soul and understand all the things I choose not to say.

 

I want to thank you for loving me when I’m crying on the bathroom floor and listening to all the little spiders running through my head. Thank you for meeting me at my mess and accepting me at my worst.

One day I will find the love of my life who will then do all those things for me, but right now I have you and I’m glad I found you first.

 

So until the day I say “I do” I will make this vow to you:

 

 

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