7 Ways to Have a Healthy Long-Distance Relationship

Does distance really make the heart grow fonder? Even though it may suck, it’s not impossible.

I’ve been in a long-distance relationship for several months now, with my boyfriend living between New York and California, and me living in Tennessee. Seeing as though he and I have a shared love language of physical touch, distance hasn’t been the easiest thing (which is putting it lightly). But there are things that we’ve done, and you can do, too, to make it a little more bearable.

1. Make a Schedule

One of the things that my boyfriend and I have done is figure out what each of our schedules looks like separately before making one together. Since his work schedule is a little more unpredictable than mine, I plug in the days he’s working into my schedule so that I can look and see when we both can be free at the same time. This also helps when you have other things to do such as errands, cooking, hobbies, etc., and you’re looking for a way to best utilize your time.

2. Communicate

Since you won’t be in the same place as your significant other, communicating is the most important thing you can do to make sure your relationship thrives. This goes for close-distance relationships, too! If there are things you don’t like, communicate that. If there are things that really work, communicate that, too. In doing so, you’ll see your relationship flourish even more.

3. Set Aside a Certain Amount of Time to Talk

Once you’re aware of each other’s schedules, try and designate certain times to spend time together – whether that’s over FaceTime, a phone call, or anything else. Putting effort into your relationship doesn’t mean you have to be in the same place as them, it just means that you actively try and spend time with your significant other in one way or another.

4. Have Virtual Dates

There are ways you can have virtual dates that are just as good as in-person dates. Set aside time for a FaceTime movie night, tune into the same live stream for a concert or comedy show, play video games together, make dinner at the same time… It really comes down to having some sort of bonding experience, even from far away.

5. Take Time For Yourself

Just like in any relationship, time alone is healthy. Making sure you set time to unwind by yourself is something that will make your time spent together as a couple stronger. When you take time for yourself, not only are you making yourself healthy, but that, in turn, will help the health of your relationship.

6. Flirt With Each Other

Just because you’re long-distance doesn’t mean you can’t still flirt with your significant other! One of the best ways to keep your romance alive is by showing your attraction to your partner in one way or another. Although you’re not there to do it in person, flirting over the phone or via text is still possible and an important aspect of a healthy relationship.

7. Talk About Your Goals

Actively talking to your significant other about goals in your relationship will help keep the purpose of your relationship at the center. Before even dating, discuss what you want your relationship to look like. Are you aiming for marriage? Something casual? Not really sure? The best way to navigate is to have those “define the relationship” conversations.

Being in a long-distance relationship may be challenging, but not impossible when they’re with the right person. The key is to communicate, and never stop communicating with your partner. If you feel a little lost in your long-distance relationship, there are other people out there who feel the same! But, by following these seven tips, you might find your relationship will become stronger than ever.

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About The Author

Emmie Pombo is a latte and tattoo-loving Tennessean who specializes in mental health and beauty writing. She holds a degree in Journalism and a certification in Makeup Artistry and Airbrushing. Follow her on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter.

You Should Never Feel Guilty For Outgrowing A Relationship In Your Life

There are many times in your life when you’ll meet someone and picture them by your side for years to come. You meet someone and you hit it off so well that you don’t ever want to picture your life without them. They make you feel whole in some ways, as though you were missing a piece of yourself and had never realized it wasn’t there until they walked into your life. They make you see brighter colors, clearer skies, really and truly feel the moments of pure and genuine happiness. It doesn’t necessarily have to be a romantic relationship. Often times, you can exhibit these emotions and feelings in genuine friendships in your life, not always with someone of the opposite sex and someone you are dating.

While meeting people who make your world feel bigger and better is a universal human experience, growth is as well. In life, we all wish to grow into better people. We’d hope, and most of the time we are, growing to become better versions of who we were in the past. No one truly stays stagnant in life. We change and we become different people as we go through different things, different phases of our lives. It’s inevitable. You won’t be the same person you were as a teen when you grow into adulthood. So, it makes sustaining relationships sometimes a bit, difficult.

When you meet someone when you’re young, you have a particular set of wants, needs, and standards that are set in place for that particular time period in your life. And, as you grow older, these may change. You may want different things out of people growing up. You may think you want to be with someone forever when you’re younger, but as you get older, you realize you are feeling unfulfilled, or as though something else is missing in your life. This isn’t something to be ashamed of or something that should be made out to be a problem – it’s just something that happens naturally in life.

There have been times in my life where I have outgrown friends and romantic partners and at the time, I felt guilty for ending things for the sake of my own sanity or my own desires. It’s like a gut-wrenching pain you feel when you’re hurting someone else, and you don’t wish to ever cause them pain. Outgrowing relationships doesn’t mean you don’t love someone, it just means you don’t want to settle for something and regret it or hurt someone even more later down the road. But, the initial struggle of having to walk away for something you have invested time and effort into while knowing the other person still feels the brighter colors, all-too-familiar pangs of excitement – it hurts.

When you want to spend a future with someone, you don’t want to half-ass it. While it’s a juvenile way to put the feeling into words, when you outgrow a relationship – it feels as though you’re only giving it half of yourself. Things just aren’t as bright and everything seems a bit duller. While you still love this person and cherish everything you’ve built together and everything you have been through, it also feels as though you’re doing a disservice to both them and yourself by staying around. You never want to be with someone just because you know it’s a solid thing and won’t go anywhere, even though you feel as though you may be happier somewhere else.

Outgrowing people isn’t something to feel guilty over, it’s just something that needs to be recognized as what’s really happening. Sometimes, we’ll try to make excuses for why we feel the way we do. We’re having an “off few weeks,” and things will get better. Maybe we’re stressed out because of work, school or outside forces that may be interfering with our emotional balance. But, the more we push the reality of the situation away, the more we begin to resent the relationship and ourselves. It may not even be conscious. We may know in the back of our minds this relationship is no longer for me. I no longer want to be the person who does the things we usually do, I want to expand my horizons, I want to try new things and meet new people. This is totally okay, there’s nothing wrong with that. What’s wrong is lying to yourself and the person in your life about it.

You can’t force yourself to stay with someone when you are really unhappy. I mean, you can, but in the long run, things will always be a bit of a struggle. You’ll find problems in everything they do, everything that happens and everywhere you go. You will always be stuck wondering what else is out there, or how you can slowly leave without doing anyone any harm. The truth is, the longer you lie to yourself, the more pain you will cause to everyone involved. Once you address the truth, you can truly learn to make a better life for yourself, and the person you are with can find someone else, as well.

There’s an old saying that says: “stop watering dead flowers.” If a relationship is no longer working for you, you feel it in your bones. There is no need to continue to put time and energy into something that will hinder your growth and trap someone else. It isn’t because the person has done you harm, it isn’t because the relationship is toxic or unhealthy – the relationship just doesn’t work for you anymore and you need to live that truth. Don’t deny yourself the sanity of living your own, authentic life. Don’t deny someone else the opportunity to find someone who will genuinely love and appreciate them either. Face the music.

9 Things You Should Know Before Moving In With Your Boyfriend

Sometimes in long-term relationships, there comes a point where a couple discusses taking that next step from “just dating” to “moving in together.” While it seems like a natural progression in any relationship, it’s actually a huge step to take as a couple. Sure, you may think it’s not such a big deal when the two of you spend every other night at each other’s own apartments anyway, but sleeping at someone’s apartment and actually sharing an apartment together are completely different things – trust me. While moving in may seem like an adorable and magical idea – playing “house” always makes every girl excited and happy – it’s a big f*cking deal, especially if there are things you’re unsure about or questions you don’t exactly have the answers to.

1. Make sure it’s something you both want to do.

Everyone feels as though it’s natural to move in together when you are a long term couple and you’re a certain age (in your mid-20’s/early-30’s). And, while it is a normal step to take in many relationships, you want to make sure that you and your partner are both happy and comfortable with the idea of living together. If one person is more into it and the other isn’t ready – don’t f*cking do it. You both need to be ready to take this step together because if one person isn’t ready, resentment will grow and your relationship will suffer because of it. I know a lot of couples who broke up after moving in together because they just weren’t ready or at that stage in their relationship to do so.

2. Make sure you’re doing it for the same reasons.

If you’re moving in with someone because you want to build a life with them, but they’re moving in with you because it’s financially convenient for them – it’s going to create tension. Make sure you discuss your intentions before you move in together. Make sure that you’re both on the same page and understand what living together really means. It’s not the same as just dating someone and staying over their apartment, you two are no cohabitating which means what’s yours is theirs and vice versa. You don’t want to have false expectations and hope and create conflict because you were both unclear of what you want.

3. Talk about finances, no matter how weird it may get.

When you move in with someone, your finances are now up front and important in your relationship. Most people will tell you not to discuss money with your partner unless you’re married, but, if you’re living together – everything matters in terms of money. And, it’s more than just rent. You’re going to paying for rent together, electric, cable, internet, food, furniture – everything you want to put in this apartment will be both of yours, not just yours or theirs. If your partner is financially irresponsible, that’s a big consideration you need to weigh before moving in. If you make more than your partner, that’s also something to think about. You don’t ever want to be stuck paying for 90% of the things in your apartment and your partner mooches off of your financial well-being, you’ll begin to get angry and resentful and will end up blowing up on them about it. The best thing you can do is discuss how to split things and make a schedule for things such as laundry, groceries and other necessities.

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Unique Gifts for New Boyfriends on Valentine’s Day

For when you’re scrambling for a gift that says “I like you” without screaming “I love you.”

Here’s the deal: you got into a new relationship a month before Valentine’s Day and now you don’t know what to get your new boyfriend. Been there, done that – actually, currently doing that. Valentine’s Day shopping is hard enough without that odd pressure of getting someone you’re still getting to know a decent gift. But have no fear – I’ve got some things that might just save the (holi)day.

For the Adventurer

Scratch Map – $26-40

Outdoor Safe Smart Wristband – $25

Portable Campfire – $28

Travel Stub Diary – $15

For the Fitness Junkie

Fitness Dice – $19

Fitness Massage Cube – $29

Bamboo Garden Cork Yoga Wheel – $65

Wooden Hand and Palm Roller – $15

For the Drink Connoisseur

Whiskey Wedge and Glass – $25

Beer Chilling Coasters – $35-45

City Skyline Beer Glasses – $28

BottleLoft – $30

For the Foodie

BBQ Blends Rub and Sauce Kit – $45 ($25 on sale)

LED Grilling Tool Set – $40

Mesh Grill Bags – $22

Global Hot Sauce Gift Box – $45

For the Arts-Lover

Birth Month Guitar Pick – $25

At Home Movie Critic’s Chart – $20

At Home Pottery DIY Kit – $58

What to Watch Streaming Decider Dice – $18

For the Sport Fanatic

Land Shark Golf Ball Marker – $29

Baseball Park Map Glasses – $35

Home Plate Doormat – $34

Anatomy of Sports Coasters – $45

For the Romantic

Date Night Bucket List – $20

Back to That Night (Custom Sky Glassware) – $54

Homesick Candles – $34

Long Distance Message Mug & Coaster – $34-60

For the Wellness Enthusiast

Caffeinated Soap – $18

Natural Beard Care Set – $29

Blue Light Blocking Reading Glasses – $30

Mindfulness Dice – $19

For the Kid at Heart

Game of Phones (game) – $12-25

Murder Mystery Jigsaw Puzzle – $19

Wall Pong – $60

Puns of Anarchy (game) – $35

Wherever you are in the relationship, whether it’s just the beginning or a long time in, these gifts will hopefully work for your man for Valentine’s Day. Some of these products may also be on sale, depending on when you purchase them.

Take the pressure off of Valentine’s Day and whatever you think it should be. Celebrate in a way that is special between you and your significant other and remember: if the gift is coming from you, they’re bound to like it, no matter what it is.

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True love is all the little things

True love is a lot of things, but the best way to put it is simple, it’s the little things. The little things you see add up to being bigger things. Coming from a girl who has only known toxic relationships, trust me when I say that when you go into a healthy one (relationship) after a handful of toxic ones it is the absolute weirdest feeling. It’s LITERALLY going from one extreme to the next.

It is true though, true love is seriously the little thing’s that mean the most.

True love is, making pancakes at midnight after doing the deed because y’all worked up an appetite, and chocolate chip pancakes sound heavenly. You are literally sitting on the counter in the kitchen looking at this man who is making you pancakes at midnight, he looks over at you and blows you a kiss while your hair is in the messiest bun and you are wearing nothing but booty shorts and his t-shirt (you know you are looking like a hot mess) but he thinks you look absolutely beautiful!

The little things like surprising her with tea when you hear her up in bed coughing because you know she has a cold and you just want to see her get better.

It may be just a small gesture but it truly does mean the world to her.

Planning a day that revolves around spending time together, surprising her with a coffee and taking her out for the two of you to get a Christmas tree together, planning a cute but simple lunch (literally surprising her with a sub), and playing her favorite board game with her because you love it when she gets so competitive. Then ending the day at your guy’s favorite brewery getting drinks.

I promise you, you have no idea how happy this will make her!

The tiniest thing is, going into a gas station and seeing a beautiful single rose and grabbing it because you know it’s her favorite flower and it reminds you of her. things like this make her heart flutter!

You know she’s a hopeless romantic

It’s little things like making her stay awake until midnight so she can open up the presents you got her on her birthday because you can’t wait for her to open it and you know she’s going to absolutely love what you got her!

It’s finding out she has had an absolutely terrible day and just wanting to turn it around and make her smile! So you go and pick up her favorite wine and make her favorite dinner and make her favorite snack for her because you know that never fails to make her smile! Take it from personal experience … She will cry!

Don’t worry though they are tears of joy!

Finally, true love is loving her even when you know the “baggage” she comes with, and you choose to stay and be with her through the good, the bad, and the ugly. It’s taking her in your arms in the middle of the night when she wakes up crying and worrying from the worst dream and letting her know she’s ok and reminding her it’s just a dream and that you love her with all of your heart!

She doesn’t want a grand gesture guys, I promise you it’s the little things you do that make a huge difference and impact on her.

Wearing Your Boyfriend’s Clothes Boosts Mental Health, So Stealing His Hoodie Is Officially Self-Care

Boyfriend Jean… literally,

If you’re one of those girls who love the comfort of wearing your boyfriend’s oversized clothes, then you should know that there’s more to it than looking hella cute while enjoying the way your guy smells. A new study suggests that wearing your boyfriend’s clothes such as an oversized button-down shirt or college hoodie can be beneficial to your sanity, especially when your guy’s far away. Yes, turns out, your guy’s not just good for your heart but also your mental health, so stealing his hoodie is officially self-care.

The University of British Colombia conducted a study using 96 participating couples. The data was gathered as followed: Men were asked to wear new t-shirts for a period of 24 hours, under a set of guidelines that would prevent them from altering their scent. The t-shirts were then collected and frozen to preserve their scent and then given randomly to the women to smell. Not all women were able to smell their partner’s shirt which helped control biases.

Ready for the results…drum roll!

1. Your guy’s scent could make you zen.

Results gathered by the group of women who were given their boyfriend’s clothes to smell showed that having close access to your partner’s scent as in “wearing their clothes’ lowers the amount of the stress hormone cortisol in the brain. In short, these women were less stressed.

“Our findings suggest that a partner’s scent alone, even without their physical presence, can be a powerful tool to help reduce stress.” – UBC Department of Psychology

2. You can miss your guy and soothe your heart at the same time.

“Many people wear their partner’s shirt or sleep on their partner’s side of the bed when their partner is away, but may not realize why they engage in these behaviors,” said UBC department of psychology grad student and the study’s lead author, Marlise Hofer.

Well, now we know and we’re loving it!

According to the results in this study, if our loved one is not around, we can assume that the next best thing would be to cozy up in one of your boyfriend’s clothes until you get the real thing. Because, although it might not be the real thing, but it can definitely give you the comfort that you need until they’re back.

On the other hand, there are other interesting findings in the study…

3. Another guy’s scent could have the opposite of a stress-free effect.

Not that you’re looking to wear some other guy’s shirt but in case you’re wondering. Results gathered by the group of women who didn’t get to smell their partner’s shirts indicated an elevation in the stress hormone cortisol in their brain. Researchers believe that ‘fear of the unknown played a big role in making these group of women more stressed.

“From a young age, humans fear strangers, especially strange males, so it is possible that a strange male scent triggers the ‘fight or flight response that leads to elevated cortisol. This could happen without us being fully aware of it”

4. Girls have a new way to tell their guys how much they want them by their side.

Sounds corny but hey, you love your guy and now science’s on your side. Next time he rolls his eyes when he catches you grabbing his bottom-down shirt to wear around the house, let him know that his scent puts you in a good mood and also makes you less prone to give him shit about him going away for a few days.

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To The Boyfriend Who Forgets I Exist Once Football Season Starts

Dear Boyfriend,

This madness has gone on for far too long.

It’s not that I don’t get it. I watched Friday Night Lights – I’m fully aware of how emotional football can get…if you’re only following one team.

It’s not like that for you. For you, it’s an obsession that rivals my incessant Facebook-checking. At least when I’m on Facebook I look at you every once in a while.

Come August, I start to see the talons of Football season creeping up your back, placing its bony hand on your shoulder. I’ve got him now it seems to whisper. Nothing you can do about it.

And it’s right, there really isn’t. It seems that between high school, college, pro, and (gasp) fantasy football, you’re busier than a mosquito at a nudist colony.

It’s not so much the fact that you’re a man in demand, it’s that even when you’re here, you’re gone. I could wave a hand in front of your face and you won’t notice. Poof. Finished! Out to lunch. It’s about The Game and The Game only, for the better part of the next five months.

Sometimes I think you’ve snapped out of it, that you’ve realized it’s JUST a game and I am, in fact, a woman sitting in your general vicinity. You gaze over with glazed eyes and say, “Babe, will you grab me a beer?”

It’s just the commercial break. Le Sigh.

Sometimes I attempt to get into it, in the hopes that one day the clouds will part and I’ll finally understand football enough to like it. I’ll then develop my own obsession to make you jealous. No matter how often you explain it, though – I get distracted by all of the hot men in tight pants running around and I forget what you taught me. Balls.

At least when we’re staying in I can busy myself with other things, but when we go to a bar, you totally space as well – so then it’s just like I’m alone at a bar. Suddenly I went from “having a lovely afternoon” to “ having a drinking problem”.

And then there are the mood swings. I feel like I’m walking on eggshells, if, God forbid, one of your teams should lose.

The game’s finally over and you’re a mopey, irritable mess. You can’t even blame it on hormones.

You won’t shut up about it for at least an hour afterward, and it’s not even a real-life event. The worst part of it is, there’s nothing I can say other than, “Oh man. Maybe next time!”

I could make some sh*t up like Yeah, that ref was a total d*ck, and Henderson should go back to the minors or whatever, but I’d really only be amusing myself.

I put in long, hard hours waiting for you to return to the land of the living. Can’t you snap out of it so we can go out? Otherwise i may just take myself out on a date. I deserve a good time.

I think the best thing for me to do is to leave a wax replica of me next to you for a few months while I actually enjoy the fall season. Hit me up around Groundhog Day- at least there will be people to talk to at one of the Superbowl parties.

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I May Be A Lot, But I Promise You I Am Worth It.

I’m a lot, I know…

You see, you are the first thing I think about when I wake up in the morning and the last before I go to bed. I think about you often throughout the day and wonder what you are doing, and what you are thinking about because a guy as smart and funny as yourself must have something interesting on his mind. I also am thinking about how lucky I am to call you mine. I can be clingy and overbearing I will admit and sometimes I feel like I may be blowing up your phone when I am not with you but the truth is, once we part our ways I miss you instantly and I wonder and hope you are missing me too.

Truth is, I can’t make plans with you soon enough… knowing that we have a “set date” or we have “plans” is what helps me hold on and know that I AM going to be seeing you again.

That sounds dramatic and clingy and maybe a bit stalker-ish I know…I promise I’m not a stalker!

Now that you know a few of these things, I think it’s time I tell you how I became this way. No, I wasn’t always like this, I was unconsciously made this way. Yes, I know we joke about my ex’s but in reality, they took a toll on me.

You see, the first one slept with my “best friend” and got her pregnant. The second told me I wouldn’t have anything to worry about that she was just a friend but failed to tell me that they were FWB in the past and slept with her the night he called things off. The third … The third hit me like a truck. This one was long-distance but we made it work somehow for over a year. It wasn’t until the end that I realized all the manipulation and emotional abuse that was set on to me. That relationship was full of ultimatums, changes, and sacrifices that I WOULD have to make to be able to be with him.

This relationship was the one that made me question and change everything… my hair, my style, my room… Everything.

After a bit of time, I eventually healed and I was able to move on, I met someone. This one lasted for about a year… he was older and more mature. He promised me the world, but never followed through on any of those promises… After some time, it was back-sided compliments and mind games, If I didn’t agree with something he said or did, as well, as if I “did something wrong” it was the silent treatment until I drove myself crazy trying to figure out what I did to make him upset. Nothing I did was good enough. I could work my ass off and it still wasn’t enough until he finally had enough and just left… he had no more use for me and just left.

I swore I was done after that, and then you came along.

Yes, then you came along and you changed the game. You are always there and you are always reliable, you are strong and steady. You have turned into my rock, my safe place. When I am having a panic attack or when I am just having a bad day you are the one I want and the one I want to be with. Once I am with you all of my worries melt away…

Cheesy I know, but it’s true.

I feel all the things, and I feel them deeply and love so hard…

I know I may be a lot and I know I may be overbearing sometimes. I just want to say thank you for your patience and for loving me through it all, thank you for loving me for being me. I promise to make it worth it, I promise to love you with my whole heart each and every day.

Thank you for being so amazing.

About The Author:

Ashley Denton is a creative artist whose mediums include music, theater, dance, and creative writing. This girl thrives on coffee, adventure, and exploration. Ashley has been writing professionally for five years and editing for four. Ashley is also one of Puckermob’s newest editors.

My Soul Needs You

It is easy to love someone when everything is sunshine and rainbows. It is easy to be there when things are easy and life is in the good times. It is when life gets messy is when relationships are tested.

We have gone through some of the hardest times while I fight my demands from the past. You have handled all that comes with this journey with such grace and strength. You have loved all of the brokenness and held me when I haven’t felt safe, until I do again. It was that moment that I knew my soul needs you.

I watched as you took a leap of faith and changed careers. You looked me in the eyes and said this will be better, I will be able to grow now and be the best I can be for you can be for you and me. I seen your fear and knew that I wanted to be your biggest cheerleader. Every second that you doubt your ability to make his work and every second you wanted to give up, but you didn’t because of he dreams that I have for our future. You pushed forward through the fear. It was in that moment I knew my soul needed you.

The moments that my chronic illness flares up and the pain is unbearable. You are right there, holding me and rubbing my back trying to comfort me. Asking where I want to eat, because you hope that comfort food will make it better. I can see the pain in your eyes when none of it is working. It hurts your heart. I see it, I know that you are trying to be strong for me, but I can see the pain in your eyes. I can feel your love for me. Its was these moments I knew my soul needed you.

Our love is not always sunshine and kisses. We have hard times that not everyone sees. There are times that I am not sure how you make it through with me. There are times I cannot see how we can keep going, but there are also times that I know I cannot give up on us. That I will never be able to give up on use because as hard as the hard times can be. The good times, the times that are sunshine and rainbows are the times that I live for.

I watch you on the boat, I see that smile of yours so big. The sunshine is hitting your skin and there is a true glow about you. You have a beer in your hand and you are cracking jokes. Your laugh is contagious. Your smile intoxicating. It is in these moments I knew my soul needed you.

When we are up north and sitting on the love seat, my feet in your lap. You look so at peace. Everything in the world is right again. We are spending quality time together. When I see this piece on your face, I knew the my soul needed you.

I promise you that I will never give up on us.

All my love Em

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How To Tell If Your Relationship Is Healthy

Ideally, a healthy relationship is one that lets both of you feel connected to each other and still feel independent. It is a relationship that makes both of you feel generally well. You see, the relationship that you have with your spouse contributes greatly to your emotional, mental, and general wellbeing.

In addition, a healthy relationship is packed with a lot of other benefits. When you are comfortable and happy, you are able to respond positively to life stresses. You are able to adopt healthier behaviors, leading to a longer life. Above all, you feel a greater sense of purpose in life nurturing a relationship.

The question, however, remains what makes a healthy relationship. The following are ways that you can tell if your relationship is healthy.

1. Honest communication

Communication is very critical for a relationship to thrive. You will know that your relationship is healthy if you can freely express yourself without the fear of being intimidated or ridiculed. Communication is two ways in that you listen to each other and everyone feels heard.

It is also crucial that you keep in touch with one another when you are apart. This is where online communication comes into play. When using the internet for this reason, make sure that you have Residential Proxies for getting a fast and safe experience while checking different websites.

2. Fair fights

Fights are inevitable in any relationship. In fact, you should be very careful in a relationship that has no fights. That could mean that one of you is not genuine, or is holding back something. People in a healthy relationship fight, but they fight fairly without insulting or humiliating the other person. They fight for their relationship, but not each other.

3. There is independence

The fact that you are together doesn’t mean that you will have the same interests, pursue the same dreams, keep the same friends, and literally do everything together. You each had your own dreams before coming together. A healthy relationship will provide a conducive environment for each person to pursue his or her interests, and personal growth. You should in fact be supporting each other’s dreams as the biggest cheerleader. When you grow individually, you become stronger together.

4. You appreciate each other

Relationships thrive when you appreciate each other. You are different individuals and each of you contributes a share in the happiness and joy that you savor in. If you are in a healthy relationship, you and your partner will be always eager to appreciate each other. You will not need a reason to celebrate the other person. Gift-giving comes naturally to you.

Pro tip: If you want to appreciate your partner, you can never go wrong with music. If your partner is a music lover, download free music-making software and send them tunes that you created yourself. You will be giving your partner something to remember you by even when you are apart from each other.

5. There is trust

The truth of the matter is that you can’t be able to follow your partner whenever he or she goes around the clock. You will have to trust the other person if you are to set each other free. That means staying away from snooping into each other’s phones or tracking their whereabouts. You will also not keep any secrets from each other. If trust is present in the relationship, then that is a healthy one.

6. You don’t tell bad things about each other to other people

Most people run to other people when their relationship faces a problem. While your partner would be the last person you want to see when you are mad, venting out to other people only shows that your relationship is unhealthy. In a healthy relationship, talking ill about your partner to other people would be the last thing on your mind. You will seek to fix the problem with your partner first before reaching out to a third party.

7. Your relationship is a safety net

Life happens and a day has a lot to deal with. At the end of the day, you want to go home to a quiet place where you will find the peace and rest that you so much need. If your relationship is a safe haven that you want to run to when things get tough, it is definitely healthy.

8. You find balance

A relationship demands so much especially when you are living together. There are the chores and paying bills and childcare among other things. Most couples fail to find a balance, and one partner will often feel overwhelmed. When you are in a healthy relationship, finding a balance is not a difficult thing. You are able to play fair with your spouse in this aspect. And in the end, having holidays together will reward all your hard work on keeping the balance up.

Conclusion

Technically, a healthy relationship boils down to good communication and healthy boundaries. In other words, you communicate openly, honestly, respectfully, and without criticism. In addition, you respect each other’s personal life as well as trust each other.

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About The Author

Freya is a Math teacher, Yoga enthusiast, and a beloved mother of three lovely daughters. She is always looking for ways to grow and help others around her thrive through self-learning, meditation, and physical fitness. When she is not teaching or spending time with her family, Freya regularly writes on topics related to self-improvement and women empowerment.