A Guide On Helping Your Man Tackle His Self-Care Routine

 

Everyone deserves a well-rounded self-care routine, and that includes the men in your life. Focusing on your self-care routine means reevaluating your health and taking steps to improve your daily life. Although it might come naturally to you to prioritize what you need mentally and physically, you may need to support your partner to do the same. 

Here are some tips to help ease any man into their ideal self-care routine. 

 

Help Him Establish A Routine

We each have our own daily routine, whether it’s contributing to our health or hindering it is a different story. If you notice your partner starts his day sluggish and in a lousy headspace, try working on his morning routine. Your morning routine sets the tone for the rest of your day and can determine your attitude towards tasks and communicating, which is why it’s crucial to start it off right. 

 

Encourage your partner to wake up earlier and accomplish small tasks at the start of their day, like making the bed or setting up their workspace. Having them complete something simple will give them ample time to self-reflect without feeling overwhelmed or sluggish. Creating and sticking to a solid daily routine will improve his life and help them stay motivated to tackle more demanding tasks throughout their day. 

 

Try Joint Fitness Plans

The most crucial aspect of creating a self-care routine is putting your health first. So, motivate one another to stay on top of your health journey. Although eating junk food on the couch with your partner is more enjoyable than creating a fitness plan, it will build intimacy and happiness in the long run. 

 

Start by understanding your differences by going at a pace that works for each individual, and remember this is not a competition! If the man in your life has also wanted to become more fit, use it to educate him on all of his resources and the importance of setting realistic goals. There is a multitude of fitness apps that help cater each workout to the individual while monitoring progress and activity. You can even consider getting him a fitness watch to help motivate self-tracking, making it easier to stick to a healthy diet and daily workouts. 

 

Encourage Self Improvement

If you feel good on the inside, it will translate on the outside, and if your boyfriend or husband is struggling to feel like themselves, then suggest revamping his appearance to help! Implementing a self-care routine can come in many shapes and sizes and can be as simple as a man spending more time on his look to boost his confidence. If your man has spent most of quarantine in his stained sweatpants and unwashed hair, it might affect his attitude in more ways than one. Starting every day with a clean outfit and a simple skincare routine will do wonders for his mood and improve his productivity. 

 

Physical factors like a well-groomed head of hair matter to men because it is a sign of power and manliness. If your man is dealing with insecurities like male pattern baldness or thinning hair and struggles to regain a positive attitude, suggest a hair loss treatment to help battle those insecurities, and show him the importance of working on himself. 

 

Plan Date Nights

Life can get pretty mundane, especially when you and your partner spend most of your time indoors; suggest weekly self-care date nights to spice things up! Regular date nights help strengthen your relationship, and finding ways to incorporate self-care can positively affect your overall health. Taking time to pamper one another with face masks or bubble baths will prompt much-needed alone time and show your man the importance of taking care of himself. 

 

Date nights are whatever you make of them, and if your man values his hobbies, then suggest a night where you spend time partaking in each other’s favorite activities. Hobbies enhance your mood and quality of life. They also give you a chance to be productive and can even reduce anxiety and depression. You can even recommend trying new hobbies that are out of each other’s comfort zone. Encouraging and supporting each other will make it easier for your partner to feel comfortable and may even help him find a new hobby to enjoy! 

 

Self-care is all too commonly referred to solely in the context of women, but it benefits everyone. Establishing a self-care routine as a man helps build a happier and healthier life. It’s important to normalize men in your life to find ways to take care of themselves and practice healthy habits. All they may need to get started is a little encouragement and support.

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To The Man Who Took A Piece Of My Heart

You have a piece of me, and no, I don’t want it back. I actually want you to keep it… Yes, please… And I don’t say that with any attitude, sarcasm, or anger but truly and genuinely I want you to keep it. I want you to know that with that “piece” you will always have a piece of me and that piece of me will always care, will always love, and will always be there for you. Even though we didn’t work together… We had first’s together. You were my first REAL true love, the first person who I actually saw a future with. The first man I pictured having kids with.

I saw it all.

You were my firsts with a lot of things. You may not have had many firsts with me. But you had some. And honestly, I’m going to take those as wins. I was the first girl who challenged you and kept you on your toes. Yes, you were constantly always doing work but so was I. I understood “business” and could “keep up” – I know I surprised you quite a bit with that. I was also the first who had goals, dreams, and ambition and could match your determination and ambition. (You found that attractive and that was also a first for me too because typically that intimidates guys…) The first that I am most proud of is that I was the girl who showed you that it was ok to love again. I know about the things women before me have done to you, and I know how you couldn’t trust. That you were afraid to get your heart broken again. I was dedicated to changing that and I put so much time and effort into that…

I love you, I still do, I may always, and knowing that we won’t have a future together hurts more than you know.

Break-ups are supposed to be bitter, I don’t want this one to be that though. I have lost you as my lover but losing you as one of my best friends and losing you as a person in my life hurts 10 times more. With that being said, I want you to know that I will always be there for you and I will always care about you.

I hope you find happiness, and I hope your career skyrockets and reachest the stars. You are already almost there and I know it’s all going to be a success. I hope you end up finding your match and I hope she is your true love, she will be a lucky woman because you are honestly a great guy.

I hope you two have a happy and healthy family, I know you always wanted that.

It kills me to say that, knowing that it won’t be me. But… You deserve to find someone who makes you happier than I could.

I hope our paths can cross again but until then…

I’ll see you later old friend.

Getting Over the “Maybe” Guy

We’ve all been there… Going out with someone a few times, living in that weird dating limbo. It’s fun, it’s exciting, it gives you those butterflies in your stomach. Then, unfortunately, something happens and you both realize that the relationship won’t work in the long haul. It’s not exactly a breakup, but it sure feels like it. Why? Because you lived through those moments of newness and thrill and didn’t have the chance to see if it lasted.

In a way, it almost hurts more than ending an official relationship.

Most likely, you’ve probably put in a good amount of effort getting to know this person, seeing how you click, understanding their sense of humor, and figuring out how your personalities mix. Heavy topics usually aren’t talked about much, which could be a good or bad thing.

I’ve been there – getting to know “maybe” guys who I actually ended up really liking.

Why did the almost-relationships go south? Nothing toxic one or the other did, but a realization that some qualities, in fact, won’t mesh in the long run, if that’s what you’re looking for. It could be a difference in opinions. It could be differences in how you view life. Whatever it is, both people can rest assured knowing that the connection, at least, was actually really great.

What made you fall for the “maybe” guy, then? The only-romanticized version of them.

You probably didn’t know them long enough to see their more of-fputting qualities. You were interested in their exciting, challenging, and attractive qualities. That’s the person you started to have feelings for, which would make sense why it hurts when they’re not in your life anymore. The “maybe” guy will get you 10x more than the “all-in” guy.

So, how you do get over him?

The easiest answer? Unfollow, unfriend, delete texts… Treat it like a normal breakup. Rip the band-aid off and cleanse your life as best you can. Even if you only knew them for a month, if your heart was starting to get involved, the best course of action may be the classic things: change up your hair, get a tattoo, start a new exercise routine, go vegan for a week. Do whatever big things you can to drag your mind away from the “maybe” guy.

The harder answer? Let yourself feel the feels. Be sad, eat a gallon of ice cream, watch those completely unrealistic romcoms that you love so much. Be present. Be in your feelings. Feel all the things that you need to. Then, after the Rocky Road is gone and Matthew McConaughey says his last cheesy line, wipe your tears, pick yourself up, and start new the next day.

Getting over someone is rarely a straight line.

There’s no one-size-fits-all for a breakup, no matter how intense it was. People feel things differently and that’s okay. In fact, that’s what makes us all special. So, if you need to get over that “maybe” guy who, for some reason, still has your heart, do whatever you feel like you need to do. In my case, I always keep my freezer stocked with Ben & Jerrys, have my yoga mat nearby, and keep 10 Things I Hate About You queued up. Remember: you’ll get through this, too.

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About the Author

Emmie Pombo is a latte and tattoo-loving Tennessean who specializes in mental health and beauty writing. She holds a degree in Journalism and a certification in Makeup Artistry and Airbrushing. Follow her on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter.

All The Ways That He Makes Me Feel Special

With Valentine’s Day looming, it got me thinking about all the ways he makes me feel special all year long. 

He tells me he loves me

I am so lucky to get endless messages telling me how proud he is of me. That he has made it safe to wherever he is going and that he loves me. He tells me that I work so hard, and that he is in awe of that. He talks about all the things I do and I see that he is proud. I have heard him talk about me when I’m not in the room and I can hear the love coming from his voice. 

His surprises

It’s not everyday but he shows me that he’s thinking of me in so many ways. He brings me lunch when he knows I have had a hard day and the last thing that I wanna do is make food. He sees little things like my refills for my Burt’s bee pop socket. He finds gifs that make me smile. He know how to make me slow down and bring me back to reality.  

Date Night

He is always down for a date night. He’s always down for my ideas for date night. Whether it’s a family date where we all go for a walk in the park, or we are having date night in he is down to go get our favorite dinner and snuggle up on the couch. He is even willing to get dressed and head out with me if that’s what I want. He still puts the effort in and that’s all that matters. It’s one of the many ways he shows me how much he cares. 

He’s willing to make my store runs for me

Having a busy girlfriend isn’t easy. It means that there are times that I have to relay on him to make my store runs for me. Whether I’m at work and he has to make a Target run for tampons or I need him to hit the grocery store because I just cannot go back out again and we need chicken he’s right there. 

Snuggle time

Snuggling with no strings. Which usually leads to me falling asleep. Let’s be real sometimes we just need to cuddle and feel safe. I have to say my man is amazing in this department. He usually knows that I need him, and he is happy to oblige. He turns a movie on and wraps his arms around me and before you know it I’m asleep. I usually wake up to him smiling down at me. It’s the best feeling in the world. 

None of these things are earth shattering. None of these things are life changing, except that they are. These are the things he does mostly on a daily basis to show me that he loves me. Maybe that is why I don’t need a holiday to celebrate our love! 

Happy Valentine’s Day C, I love you. But don’t get me anything! Let’s celebrate our love everyday instead! 

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To the Man Who Chooses Me

To the Man Who Chooses Me:

Our relationship has been easy. As I have unpacked my past trauma, you have been there through the whole process. We have had so many ups and downs. We have made it through them all, mostly with your reassurance. This stage has been hard on us.

C,

No matter what we have been through, you choose me. You choose to love me… To hold me through the hardest of times, and stand next to me as I fight the battles that are mine. You are on the sidelines cheering me on while I chase my dreams! For these things, I love you so much.

Thank you for showing me what true, safe love is. I never knew a safe love like I do now, thanks to you. When I feel unsteady, you lay with me, hold me, and tell me that it’s all going to be okay. You listen to my overthinking and try to give me the spin on it so that it all doesn’t seem as bad as it does in my head.

Thank you for showing me what real love is. You love my flaws and all; including the fact that you can make fun of them. You don’t care about the fancy dates or me getting all dressed up. I do notice the look in your eye when I do, though. I also know that you’d rather me be in an old t-shirt with my hair pulled back. We have a Sunday kind of love and it’s all I wanted and more.

Thank you for loving me through the hard times. You are always there no matter when I need you. From changing the flat on my car to holding me close after a nightmare to listening to me dump my stuff from the day. You have no idea how good it feels to have someone to call on after all the years of doing it alone.

Thank you for being the one to dream with me. I love that you look at houses with me and help me try to construct or dream house that will be functional and not too big. I love that you will sit with me and update our list of names for our future child (p.s. we need one for our future fur babies, too). Thank you for working so hard so that we can make our dreams a reality one day.

Thank you for being so wonderful you, your imperfections and all. I wouldn’t want you any other way. But I love all the things about you. From when I come out and you are in your truck singing along to your favorite country song. To the way your hair being a mess when I video chat you on my lunch.

You are the one and I’m so blessed to be able to spend this crazy life with you. I love you so much.

  • A note to you ladies out there, your safe love that is so unconditional imperfect is coming. Don’t settle for anything less!

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12 Things Every Girl Can Expect From Moving In With Her Boyfriend

Moving In Together

So you’re taking the next step in your relationship, and finally shacking up and moving in with your SO. You’ve been planning this for a while, you’ve dreamt about the days you’d be decorating a place together, and you figure that you’ve had enough sleepovers together over the years to know what you’re in for. You’re ready for constant cuddles, tons of home cooked meals together and coming home after a long day to your favorite person in the world. While all of these things are definitely things to look forward to, that’s not all you’re signing up for. After moving in with my boyfriend, we were faced with a few realities that sometimes make us laugh, and sometimes push us to our absolute limits.

 

1. You’re going to have to start hiding your favorite snacks.

Remember those days when your older brother would eat all your leftovers and that bag of Goldfish that you bought yesterday is suddenly missing? Living with your boyfriend is pretty much the same thing. Long gone are the days of rationing your faves to last for days and days. Long gone are the days of ever having enough ice-cream. Let the game of hide-and-seek with your favorite foods begin!

Your Partner Should Always Stand Up For You, Even When You’re In The Wrong

Your Partner Should Have Your Back

There are many times throughout your life when you are going to butt heads with other people or be judged by others. It’s not always going to be your fault, but, there are occurrences that will arise in which you are on “trial” with other people in your life. People will come at you, full force, if they think you’re in the wrong. But, who can you turn to when you feel the entire world is against you?

Who are you to go to for support and a helping hand when people would rather see you broken, beat, and bent than thriving? Especially, when we’re the ones who have screwed up.

Many times in a relationship, we turn to our partner for love and suppor. Especially when we feel as though we’re being attacked. We look to our significant others for comfort, for guidance, and for above all—support. Many question, however, what the right thing to do is if your significant other needs support, but they are the ones who are in the wrong. Does being in a relationship with someone mean always standing up for them, even if they are the ones who have f*cked up?

 

10 Signs You’re Way Too Good For The Person You’re Dating

Your friends tell you, your parents tell you—sh*t, even their friends say something to you about it. There comes a time in some relationships where everyone starts telling you that you’re way too good for the person you’re dating. While I’m never one to say that you should believe when people tell you things about your relationship when they’re not involved in it—there are some key moments in your life where people are doing you more good than harm. If you’re constantly fighting with yourself to decide if the person you are with is “good” for you, there may be a bigger picture problem that you’re ignoring completely.

 

If you’re the one who is constantly going out of your way, giving 100% when they give maybe 45%, the one reaching out, the one making plans, the one who calls/texts first – there could be a very, very big reason. You may just be too good for the person you’re currently dating.

 

1. The people who know you best think you deserve better.

While you may not want to believe everything other people say about your own, personal life – the people who know you best are only going to want what’s best for you. If they’re telling you that you deserve better, finding reasons for you to leave the person you’re with – there could be a very good reason for it. They want you to be happy and also want you to be treated the way in which you deserve. Maybe you need to wake up and smell the coffee of the reality of things, no matter how much you love someone, they may not be the best person for you.

 

 

2. The person you’re with is jealous, insecure or always picking fights.

If you’re the type of person who allows your significant other to have freedom and independence, but they don’t reciprocate, it’s a big red flag. Jealousy and insecurity at times can be something to manage and work on in a relationship, but if someone is unwilling to change, you can’t force them. You can’t be allowing someone to have their freedom but be forbidden to do things, say things or wear things that you want at someone else’s expense. Don’t let someone stomp all over you, who you are and what you bring to the table.

 

An Open Letter To My Boyfriend In Heaven

I’ll never forget that exact moment where my life changed forever.

November 4, 2015 is the date I lost the love of my life and among others lost their best friend. Your Mother and Father lost their baby and your siblings lost their loved brother. It didn’t feel real at all. It felt like a complete dream, and to this exact day It still does. You left too soon and had the whole world ahead of you with goals and dreams to accomplish. You talked about a Promise Ring days before you passed, also having a family together and how we were only bound to be the chillest parents.

 

Our future together was bright with a family, dream jobs, and we couldn’t wait to finally get started by getting our own place together and to build and grow from there.

A big part of me was angry at God for taking you. It didn’t make sense as to why he took away such an amazing man that impacted everyone and was so loved. You are truly special and Heaven gained the best Angel there is. As each day passes, the pain still hurts. People say time heals, but It hasn’t.

7 Reasons Why I’ll Always, Unapologetically, Choose My Career Over A Man

Career

I’ve always been a hard worker throughout my entire life. Ever since I was a freshman in high school, I’ve had at least one job. Fast forward to college, I was interning in New York City three days a week, attending college full-time and waitressing at two restaurants to pay tuition and ensure I could graduate with a degree in the fields I was most passionate about. Long story short – I’ve always been a go-getter, someone who puts her work first and never, ever takes a handout. I started out interning at small, start-up companies in journalism and, worked my way up through several companies to be in a position I used to only dream about.

 

At the end of the day, my work and my passions will always come first. It’s one of the things I value most about myself – my work ethic. While it’s been the reason I’ve always succeeded in life, it’s also the reason I’ve had trouble in relationships. Throughout my life, every guy I’ve ever dated has had a “problem” with the amount of work I do. I never work one job, I’m always working over 40 hours a week and I usually make more money than my partner. Whatever the reason is, men have always given me sh*t for the way in which I choose to spend my time and conduct my life.

 

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