Getting Over the “Maybe” Guy

We’ve all been there… Going out with someone a few times, living in that weird dating limbo. It’s fun, it’s exciting, it gives you those butterflies in your stomach. Then, unfortunately, something happens and you both realize that the relationship won’t work in the long haul. It’s not exactly a breakup, but it sure feels like it. Why? Because you lived through those moments of newness and thrill and didn’t have the chance to see if it lasted.

In a way, it almost hurts more than ending an official relationship.

Most likely, you’ve probably put in a good amount of effort getting to know this person, seeing how you click, understanding their sense of humor, and figuring out how your personalities mix. Heavy topics usually aren’t talked about much, which could be a good or bad thing.

I’ve been there – getting to know “maybe” guys who I actually ended up really liking.

Why did the almost-relationships go south? Nothing toxic one or the other did, but a realization that some qualities, in fact, won’t mesh in the long run, if that’s what you’re looking for. It could be a difference in opinions. It could be differences in how you view life. Whatever it is, both people can rest assured knowing that the connection, at least, was actually really great.

What made you fall for the “maybe” guy, then? The only-romanticized version of them.

You probably didn’t know them long enough to see their more of-fputting qualities. You were interested in their exciting, challenging, and attractive qualities. That’s the person you started to have feelings for, which would make sense why it hurts when they’re not in your life anymore. The “maybe” guy will get you 10x more than the “all-in” guy.

So, how you do get over him?

The easiest answer? Unfollow, unfriend, delete texts… Treat it like a normal breakup. Rip the band-aid off and cleanse your life as best you can. Even if you only knew them for a month, if your heart was starting to get involved, the best course of action may be the classic things: change up your hair, get a tattoo, start a new exercise routine, go vegan for a week. Do whatever big things you can to drag your mind away from the “maybe” guy.

The harder answer? Let yourself feel the feels. Be sad, eat a gallon of ice cream, watch those completely unrealistic romcoms that you love so much. Be present. Be in your feelings. Feel all the things that you need to. Then, after the Rocky Road is gone and Matthew McConaughey says his last cheesy line, wipe your tears, pick yourself up, and start new the next day.

Getting over someone is rarely a straight line.

There’s no one-size-fits-all for a breakup, no matter how intense it was. People feel things differently and that’s okay. In fact, that’s what makes us all special. So, if you need to get over that “maybe” guy who, for some reason, still has your heart, do whatever you feel like you need to do. In my case, I always keep my freezer stocked with Ben & Jerrys, have my yoga mat nearby, and keep 10 Things I Hate About You queued up. Remember: you’ll get through this, too.

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About the Author

Emmie Pombo is a latte and tattoo-loving Tennessean who specializes in mental health and beauty writing. She holds a degree in Journalism and a certification in Makeup Artistry and Airbrushing. Follow her on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter.

A Brutally Honest Letter To The Asshole Ex.

Dear Ex,

I’ve had so many mixed feelings in regards to writing this letter. To start off, I want to say that I hope that you’re not as shitty now as you were before, because let’s face it, you were VERY shitty.

 

But I loved you anyways.

We had good times and had a great connection. Or, I thought we did. Even though I loved you, you chose to break my heart and almost break my spirit.

I was a damn good girlfriend to you. I did everything you wanted and then some. I went out of my way, multiple times to make sure that you were happy, and that was never good enough. I spent so much time, effort and money on you, but you didn’t seem to care. Instead of appreciating what you had, you chose to pick fights with me about anything and everything, call me names, belittle me, lie to me, cheat on me, alienate me, and so many other things….and I stupidly let you.

There are so many times when I look back on our relationship…

and want to punch myself in the face for staying with you as long as I did. I don’t look back and think of all of our “wonderful” times, because they’re only plagued with horrible times right after. Things between us never stayed good for long.

To be honest, there were other guys that took interest in me, but I chose to turn them down; for you. They showed me more respect in the small amount of time we talked, than you ever did in our entire relationship. Looking back now, I never should have gone out with your sorry ass, especially when I saw those red flags.

 

To the Guy I’ve Held on to for Way Too Long, Here’s My Final Goodbye

You don’t know it yet, but the last time we spoke was the last time you’ll hear from me. In a few months, we will nothing more than distant memories to each other.

 

I didn’t tell you everything I wanted to. I kept it simple like you always preferred, but here’s what I really wanted to say:

 

We’re growing apart and we can’t blame that on distance. It’s happening because we have to change, have to change.

 

Any kind of connection with you is just too hard for me to bear anymore.

 

10 Things To Remember When You Finally Leave His Cheating Ass

1. It isn’t your fault. It never was your fault, don’t let anybody convince you otherwise.

2. You are beautiful, inside and out. I don’t even know you, and I know you are gorgeous. Only certain people are blessed enough to have both types if beauty, you are blessed.

3. You are better than what you see yourself as. Look deep down into your mind and see your internal beauty. Let it shine.

4. If it was meant to be, it would be. Let God do his magic. This is something you cannot control, no matter how badly you want to.

5. If you let it eat you alive, it will. Anything that finds your weak spot will take advantage of it and rip you to pieces.

6. Not everyone sees you as “his property.” Express yourself. Jump out of your shell. Too many people don’t know the real you because you’ve been tied down with an ass.

7. Time heals everything, honestly.. It does. But do not count time, that makes it go alot slower. Take it one day at a time, just go with it.

8. Eyes are my favorite part about people‘a physical appearance, sounds weird that I say that. But eyes are gorgeous, they show more about someone’s internal thoughts than words ever will. But tears make your eyes grow a little red and a bit more tired. You need your eyes to be clear and open so you may see the beauty in your present and future.

9. Keep your mind open to all opportunities. Nobody said change is a bad thing, and in this case… It’s not. Change it up. Go out, stay home. Drive around, eat everything. Work out, wear some heals. Change your life up. This will make things easier to be put in the past. A new life has no part of an old one.

10. You are strong. You are smart. You are unique. You are fun. You are positive. You are a woman in a tough generation to love in, but you have. Which means you have all the qualities you need in order to keep your head up and make it through this perfectly fine. It’s going to hurt at first.. But that doesn’t mean you’re not slowly healing. Pain is a sign you are living and can still feel. Embrace it. Love it, it is much better to feel pain than to be numb. Trust me.

Everything WILL be okay. I promise. You can do this. You can finally have a well deserved happy life. All that’s stopping you is yourself. Once you let yourself feel it, you’ll do so well through this tough learning experience.

You go, girl.

Lady Gaga And Bradley Cooper Romance Rumors Abound After She Splits With Fiance

Lady Gaga is engaged to Christian Carino no more. A source told People, “It just didn’t work out. Relationships sometimes end.” The source added that the couple actually split “a bit ago,” and that “there is no dramatic story.”

The news isn’t exactly shocking to fans of Gaga’s, who noticed something was up when Gaga was spotted without her engagement ring at the 2019 Grammys on February 10. Gaga also neglected to thank Carino in her speech when she accepted the best pop duo or group performance award for her song “Shallow.”

https://twitter.com/1_adygaga/status/1094821048602816513

And then, on Valentine’s Day, when Gaga didn’t post a pic of herself and Carino, but instead Instagrammed a shot of a new tattoo of a rose she’d gotten on her back, inspired by A Star Is Born.

So you know what that means, right? Now Lady Gaga is FREE TO DATE BRADLEY COOPER! And that’s just what the internet is thinking. As soon as the split was confirmed, people started to ship the two stars.

The chemistry between them is undeniable.

https://twitter.com/itsnickolev/status/1097971660119068672

https://twitter.com/gagaftbullock/status/1097332065303973889

People are PSYCHED.

https://twitter.com/gagaftbullock/status/1095733825232166912

https://twitter.com/mooreschlmt/status/1096219707110129665

Fans are already calling for them to get married.

So far, no word from either camp, but maybe if we talk about it enough, we can make it happen? Just by believing? It’s worth a shot, anyway.

But let’s also spend a minute remembering Gaga’s relationship with Christian Carino. Hopefully the breakup isn’t too hard on either one of them, and they’ll move on amicably.

h/t: People and Someecards

Khloé Kardashian Dumps Tristan Thompson After He Allegedly Hooked Up With Kylie Jenner’s BFF Jordyn Woods

In a wild and crazy turn of events, new reports indicate that Khloé Kardashian has again broken up with her baby daddy Tristan Thompson for cheating on her…again. While this doesn’t seem shocking to anyone at all because Thompson has a history of cheating on his baby mommas—like, a bad, long, length history—it’s who he cheated with this time that is throwing the entire world for a loop.

TMZ reported this week that while he and Khloé spent Thursday together for Valentine’s Day with their daughter, True, Thompson was later spotted at a party on Sunday night getting close and comfortable with a close family friend.

That family friend happens to be Kylie Jenner’s BFF—Jordyn Woods. If you follow Kylie Jenner and the Kardashian family, there’s a 99.9% chance you know who Woods is, seeing as she goes just about everywhere with Kylie and her family.

While TMZ didn’t have a ton of details about how they got caught, they did say that at the house party, Thompson and Woods were “snuggling up with each other,” and “making out.” Damn, Jordy, you’re a savage b*tch.

Additionally, the site reported that after Khloé found out, she immediately broke it off with Thompson—no redemption for him this time around. It was only last year that videos leaked of Thompson hooking up with not one, but two girls in a club while Khloé was weeks away from giving birth to their daughter True. You know what they say, KoKo—once a dog, always a dog.

After the news broke, people online had mixed feelings. But, overall, most of them weren’t shocked to see Thompson back to his old ways.

https://twitter.com/creekee_iman/status/1097970387751718914

https://twitter.com/Tobincii/status/1097974896624369664

https://twitter.com/believe_swaggy_/status/1097970475714691073

https://twitter.com/kelcyhorning/status/1097977859489042433

https://twitter.com/syrASTOTLE/status/1097972882838339591

https://twitter.com/_missbIiss/status/1097978645883301888

This is a case for the FBI. Girl…WHEW.

h/t: TMZ.

Why Finding Out Your ‘Person’ Doesn’t Feel The Same Feels Like Absolute Sh*t

There comes a time in everyone’s life when they fall in love with someone they feel like they can spend the rest of their lives with. While we go from relationship to relationship in life, experiencing the blissful beauty of falling in love, there comes a particular moment in your life when you fall in love with someone you truly consider to be “the one.”

You start to build a life with this person, planning things, including them in your everyday life and decisions, building a future with them, fantasizing about your life together—it all seems like everything is amazing, perfect, wonderful.

But, there are often times in life that the person you want to be “the one,” doesn’t exactly feel the same way about you. Now, this is not to say that they aren’t in love with you, or, that they don’t want to be with you. But, there are often times when you’re sure about someone, but, they’re not sure about you.

And, when you realize this, it feels like you got hit in the chest by an 18-wheeler.

Heartache.

What do you really do when you fall in love with someone and want them to be your “happily ever after,” but, they aren’t even sure of what they want in life? What if they decide they never want to get married, have children, start a family—what do you really do?

The decisions that you have to make as you get older and fall in love are terrifying. Sometimes, you have to make sacrifices and compromise, but, you should never sacrifice your happiness just to be with someone and live in their own comfort zone.

You may love this person – you may love them with every single inch of your being, but, if they cannot give you exactly what you need, you can start over, you can find someone else. Or, you can take a break from dating and reassess your needs and desires.

If you’re someone who needs a definitive timeline and answers, but your “person” can’t give you them, take a step back and think things through. Maybe, this person just cannot give you what you need and, if that’s the case, you need to face those facts. Maybe, after hearing this person doesn’t want those milestones, you decide maybe you don’t either and, you’d rather be with this person than be “married.” Maybe, you’re okay with waiting to see how things unfold. But, maybe, you don’t want to push aside your own needs to please someone else.

Whatever happens—whatever you do decide—remember that the most important person to listen to is yourself. Face the hard truths, the painful realities, and the heartbreaking decisions if you have to – because, staying with someone who cannot fulfill you will always leave you empty.

People Reveal The Pettiest Thing Their Ex Has Ever Done And It’ll Have You Swear Off Dating Forever

Breakups can be hard for everyone involved sometimes. Other times, one person is hurt way worse than the other. When this happens, whoever gets hurt the worst wants to get sweet, sweet revenge on the person who broke their heart. While physical violence is frowned upon in society, and no one wants to go to jail, the next best thing is to be absolutely petty. What’s a better way to get back at someone who hurt you than by stealing something, breaking something, or constantly reminding them how much of an awful person they are? People online shared the pettiest things their ex has ever done for “revenge” after a breakup and the responses will really make you thankful for never having to date any of these savage souls.

thedoctorismyparabatai:

My ex-husband gave me back my KitchenAid mixer but kept all the attachments.

techdumay:

Stole and used checks on my name,
sold my TV via facebook- all while i was moving out.

But her grand finale must be waiting for me outside my doorstep, on my birthday, with a wrapped dildo in her hand.

Two years after we broke up!

While i was living with my new girlfriend!

humdrumdummydum:

About a month after I moved out of my exs place he told me to come pick up some mail. As I was leaving work I told him I’d be there in 15 minutes, and he said he’d be home.

I texted him that I’d arrived and after a few minutes knocked on the door to be let in by the roommate who directed me to the back room. I walk in to him fucking a stripper he’d recently made his girlfriend, bent over a desk I’d built him. I waited for them to dress so he could give me my mail, because he wouldnt just tell me where to find it. As soon as he handed it to me I began to walk out, and he persued me saying things like “hey don’t you wanna talk?” And “come back! How have you been?”. I just said “youre disgusting” and got in my car.

Four months to the day of our breakup, he married the stripper, and is currently in the process of getting divorced. That relationship was a mistake, for sure.

thegirlnamedisla:

After I broke up with my first high school boyfriend, he left messages on my desk with misspelled words and incorrect grammar, knowing how irritated I would be, as it was (and still is) one of my biggest pet peeves.

gr8fulde4d420:

Moved out while I was at work one day. Took my cat, and had him put to sleep. It was petty to her.

This Is How People From Divorced Homes Love Differently Than Everyone Else

It’s not uncommon to grow up with parents who just don’t stay together. Whether you’re a child growing up in a small town or a kid roaming the streets of the big city, you’re not alone when you think your entire world is falling apart because your parents have decided to go their separate ways. One minute you’re sitting at the dinner table with mom and dad discussing their work day, talking about how much they couldn’t wait to come home to each other – and the next, they’re barely speaking over Thanksgiving turkey.

Divorce sucks. It’s hard, long and emotionally draining. It shows children at a young age that love can be dispensable and not every “forever” truly means forever. It gives us the thought process that things are temporary in life and even if you work incredibly hard at something, it doesn’t always stick around. Children who grow up in divorced homes are unique, special and often times, vulnerable. They don’t love like everyone else, they don’t see the world through the same rose-colored lenses most people do and they certainly don’t look on the bright side all of the time.

1. We’re Often Cynical About Love:

When you watch your parents – the two people who brought you into the world –  fall apart before your eyes, it’s almost impossible for us to feel optimistic about being in love with someone. When we do approach love, we do it cautiously and with our guards up. We’re scared that if we love too much, get too comfortable, the situation will fall apart before our very eyes – just like mom and dad.

2. We Question Things A lot:

We need answers, sometimes too often. We want to know from the get-go that the relationship is going somewhere – or anywhere at all. We’re scared to waste our time on things that won’t last or have an expiration date. Because of this, we tend to ask more questions than most people can handle. We are the type to love you – and love you hard – but we need some security in knowing you feel the same.

3. We Take Time To Do Things:

People who come from divorced homes aren’t ones to rush things. We may feel like we love you, but you can think again if we’re going to say it first. We wait until we’re sure of everything before we let ourselves be open and vulnerable to being hurt.

4. We Hurt Very Easily:

While we may hesitate on things, we also take things personally. We’re not ones to think lightly about situations and when things go south, we usually blame ourselves. It’s like that classic story where the young kid naively blames himself for his parent’s divorce. We tend to look at things through a very narrow lens, dissecting all the things said and all the things done. Tread lightly with us, we’re a little sensitive.

5. Arguments Are A Sore Spot For Us:

When fights break out, we tend to flinch a bit. We grew up with bad words and bad vibes all around us – it takes us back to a pretty dark and troubling time in our youth. When things get a bit loud and argumentative, we retreat more than we want to combat.

6. We Expect A Lot From Our Significant Other:

We aren’t the kind of people who settle easily, we tend to stay solo until we find that right person. When we do, we expect them to step up to the plate. We know that no one is absolutely perfect – because shit, we have a ton of baggage – but we do expect our partner to deliver. We don’t need someone who we can’t trust, we question or someone who makes us uneasy.

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