X Iconic Taylor Swift Lyrics for Every Stage of Your Breakup

We all know Taylor Swift is the queen of breakup anthems. Let’s face it, we probably wouldn’t have made it through 50% of our heartaches if it wasn’t for her relatable songwriting wizardry. Here are some iconic, underrated, and flat out classic music favorites:

 

1. “Please don’t ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere..” (New Year’s Day)

This lyric from New Year’s Day perfectly encapsulates that feeling of being wistfully reminiscent. Maybe you’re missing the golden days of the relationship or maybe you’re romanticizing memories. Either way, this one hits home when you’re learning how to exist in a world where your “person” is now a stranger.

 

2. “And if my wishes came true, it would’ve been you..” (the 1)

Sometimes shit just hurts and things don’t work out the way you hoped they would.

 

3. “I was a dreamer before you went and let me down. Now it’s too late for you and your white horse to come around..” (White Horse)

This song is a classic for a reason.

 

4. “You had to kill me, but it killed you just the same. Cursing my name, wishing I stayed. You turned into your worst fears and you’re tossing out blame. Drunk on this pain..” (my tears ricochet)

Breakups are hard enough without playing the blame game and this lyric perfectly sums up how nobody wins a losing game.

 

5. “You call me up again just to break me like a promise…”(All Too Well)

For that moment (or moments) when you think that you and your ex just might work things out. Spoiler alert: it ended for a reason.

 

6. “Is it insensitive for me to say get your shit together, so I can love you..” (Renegade)

Ah, denial. We all have that one person who has a little too much potential and not quite enough of what we actually need.

 

7. “I don’t like your little games, don’t like your tilted stage; the role you made me play, of the fool. No I don’t like you..” (Look What You Made Me Do)

This is the song you play on repeat after realizing you were played on repeat.

 

8. “When I was drowning, that’s when I could finally breathe. And by morning, gone was any trace of you; I think I am finally clean..” (Clean)

This entire song is an anthem for finally leaving that toxic relationship.

 

9. “I forgot that you existed. And I thought that it would kill me, but it didn’t. And it was so nice, so peaceful and quiet..” (Forgot That You Existed)

Sweet acceptance. There really is nothing like realizing you’ve gone a day or two without them crossing your mind.

 

10. “I only bought this dress so you could take it off…”(Dress)

Best to end on a high note here. This song will get you nice and ~moody~ for when you’re finally ready to move on and meet someone new.

 

To My Ex, It Killed Me When You Didn’t Choose Me, But I Forgive You

I thought to hear you say ‘I’m sorry’ would finally give me the closure I desperately needed.

I wanted more than anything to hear the words straight from your heart that you were sorry for stringing me along, that you’d finally realized it was always supposed to be me and you, that you loved me and this was just a big mistake.

That would’ve fixed us. I would’ve accepted it and welcomed you back with an open heart.

To hear those simple words would have shown me that you genuinely felt bad for causing me so much hurt while you were trying to figure out who you were, would have meant the world to me.

Two words: I’m sorry. That’s all I ever wanted to hear.

You broke my heart not once or even twice, but every single time you built me up to believe I meant more to you than I do. Only  to have you walk away as if I never mattered.

It seems like you just woke up one day and decided I was no longer worth your time. You walked away from me and from us and you never said goodbye.

You never gave me an explanation of what was so wrong with me (us) that you no longer wanted me and I waited so long to hear you say you were sorry for that.

But you probably won’t give me those words and I can’t keep torturing myself waiting around for it.

I waited for you to decide I was worth it, for you to choose me when in reality should have chosen me. I should have chosen better. I should have been worth more to me.

You hurt my feelings, but I let you. And I let you walk in and out of my life at will. But I let myself believe you would choose me in the end but I saw the way you looked at her.

You loved her. You loved her with your whole heart. And I never should’ve tried to stand between you and her.

So maybe I’m the one who owes you an apology. I fought so hard for our relationship, but I knew you loved her. And I knew you were happier with her. I did.  But I was selfish and wanted you to be mine which, ultimately would have made us both so unhappy….

I’m just so sorry that I didn’t walk away when I saw how happy she made you. And I am sorry that I made you unhappy by fighting with you over it all.  Most of all tho, I am sorry that my jealousy  ruined your chances with the girl who truly made you happy.

You deserve happiness and I wish you all the best. And so do I.

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To My Toxic Ex: Your Repression Liberated Me

PSA: I am about to put my ex on blast.

 

I will not name names or even use fake ones, initials, or any other way to refer to him but as my toxic ex. If you or your family ever read this (you know who you are), which I highly doubt, this is MY truth. Welcome to my TED talk on toxic conservatism bolstered by narrow minded Christianity. What follows is my side of a toxic 15 month relationship with a man I thought I would end up marrying and how it liberated me so I could live out my life being my authentic self.

 

I did not honestly start having relationships with men or wanting them until I was college age. I guess I started noticing and getting noticed more by the opposite sex in high school. My older brother and younger sister were all in high school at the same time (he is two years older than me and she is 15 months younger than me). We all had our “thing” or epithets in high school that we lived up to and were known for. My brother was the cross country star, I was the dual cross country and soccer player/smart one, and my sister was the more popular, social butterfly known for her looks and style.

 

I guess once guys started noticing that I was moderately attractive in high school, I didn’t necessarily know how to take it. I was more concerned with my academics and performing in varsity sports. I had only one boyfriend in high school to be honest. He was in my friend group and we dated for 3 months before I got really annoyed with him and broke it off. I had a few guys ask me out or try to date me in high school.

I would go on dates, but usually would end up just wanting to be friends with them because they’d go stage 5 clinger really quick and I did not have the time for that sort of neediness and insecurity. I was very self-assured and self-confident and 100% did not need a guy to make me happy.

 

If you have read any excerpts from my upcoming book, you will be aware of my deep seeded issues with seeking approval from male figures that held a significant part in my life. That started with my dad. My dad is an amazing father and role model. I always have admired his work ethic, drive, ingenuity, intelligence, and how he has provided for our family. I have always looked up to him for that and strived to receive his approval for my accomplishments. However, no matter what I accomplished, I never felt that he was proud of me. I bring this up because, psychologically speaking, women tend to seek men that resemble (not physically usually) their fathers. Thus began my toxic relationships with men.

 

The first boyfriend I had turned out to be a complete loser. Long story short, we dated two years in total. We moved to Mckinney, Texas after I graduated pharmacy school for a job offer I had accepted. Well, to be VERY generous and kind here, he was a lazy, entitled piece of shit. I learned very quickly upon moving in with him that he was ok with riding my coattails because I made a very good 6 figured salary.

 

To him, that meant it was ok for me to work 10 hour days plus extra shifts while I was studying for my boards to get fully licensed as a pharmacist, do the chores around the house, pay for our dates, going out, etc. without him ever lifting a goddamn finger or offering to help. He was in between jobs the entire year we lived together because he thought his lazy ass was worth double the salary he was being offered. And I say this in with the most disdain and callousness in my voice: YOUR SELF-PERCEIVED CHARM AND PEOPLE SKILLS DO NOT MAKE UP FOR ZERO JOB EXPERIENCE.

10 Signs You’re Way Too Good For The Person You’re Dating

Your friends tell you, your parents tell you—sh*t, even their friends say something to you about it. There comes a time in some relationships where everyone starts telling you that you’re way too good for the person you’re dating. While I’m never one to say that you should believe when people tell you things about your relationship when they’re not involved in it—there are some key moments in your life where people are doing you more good than harm. If you’re constantly fighting with yourself to decide if the person you are with is “good” for you, there may be a bigger picture problem that you’re ignoring completely.

 

If you’re the one who is constantly going out of your way, giving 100% when they give maybe 45%, the one reaching out, the one making plans, the one who calls/texts first – there could be a very, very big reason. You may just be too good for the person you’re currently dating.

 

1. The people who know you best think you deserve better.

While you may not want to believe everything other people say about your own, personal life – the people who know you best are only going to want what’s best for you. If they’re telling you that you deserve better, finding reasons for you to leave the person you’re with – there could be a very good reason for it. They want you to be happy and also want you to be treated the way in which you deserve. Maybe you need to wake up and smell the coffee of the reality of things, no matter how much you love someone, they may not be the best person for you.

 

 

2. The person you’re with is jealous, insecure or always picking fights.

If you’re the type of person who allows your significant other to have freedom and independence, but they don’t reciprocate, it’s a big red flag. Jealousy and insecurity at times can be something to manage and work on in a relationship, but if someone is unwilling to change, you can’t force them. You can’t be allowing someone to have their freedom but be forbidden to do things, say things or wear things that you want at someone else’s expense. Don’t let someone stomp all over you, who you are and what you bring to the table.

 

Why Breaking Up in an (almost relationship) is Worse Than an Actual One

The beginning of no beginning

Have you ever been an in almost relationship? When you start talking to someone, the goal is to date them right? We have this concept in our minds that things are going to work out and you’ll live happily ever after. Unfortunately, that isn’t always the case. We put all of our eggs into one basket. And we become obsessed with the idea that we have found our forever person. It’s not easy to move on from an almost relationship, and for some reason it hurts more than an actual relationship breakup.

When you fall for nothing

You fell head over heels for someone you weren’t even dating. And everything seemed so perfect and life was great up until it wasn’t. You two just clicked and it all felt natural. Natural, like everything you see in any romantic film, you know, the one where the guy gets the girl in the end? Then you realize you weren’t even dating this person. And that none of those feelings are ever going to be validated.

Here comes the judgement

You are judged for being sad after the breakup because you two were never actually dating. After all, when you end an almost relationship what are you ending?

“You guys weren’t even officially together.” Rolls eyes. While you two may never have “actually” dated, everything you did pointed to definitely sharing your lives together. The sleepovers, the date nights, the sharing of secrets, the vulnerability, it all made sense to the two of you. It felt real and now it’s as if you’re not entitled to be sad, because those feelings weren’t yours for the taking.

Here comes the advice

People tell you to just get over it because you guys “weren’t really together or talking for that long.”

Oh, how easy it is to be an outsider looking in, isn’t it? As an outsider, you seemingly wanted the best for us, but also did not really care when things ended. It’s so much easier to tell us to get an almost relationship  and invalidate all of our raw emotions following the split. This all goes back to not being allowed to be sad or cry over losing this person. Because you weren’t together long enough for everyone to view as a “justifiable” amount of time in order to be allowed to be upset.

You have to get used to a new normal 

Just because you were not dating officially, your life, for awhile, had revolved around that person. You aligned your schedules to see each other. And with joint effort, found time in between work and school to meet, anxiously looking forward to every minute. Thus, this became your sense of normalcy that you’ve been craving in your life.

And now you have to begin the adjustment. The adjustment of not waking up to texts from that person every morning. For you, it’s as if you’ve lost a limb and now you have to get used to your life without it. Without that person. Without your normalcy from an almost relationship.

People Are Revealing The Brutal Ways They Found Out Their Partners Were Cheating

Not every relationship is meant to last forever. Some people come into your life to teach you valuable lessons—like, read the red flags. While some people are strong enough to walk away from people they no longer love, others are too coward to say goodbye and instead, cheat—regardless of how much pain they know they will cause their partners.

Finding out your partner is cheating on you is probably the hardest pill to swallow. Maybe worse is to catch a cheating spouse red-handed. Recently, BuzzFeed asked their users to share the ways they found out about their cheating SO’s and—they’ll make you never want to date again.

1.

The girl he was messing around with came forward. It was the worst. This was after I had already confronted him about another girl he was cheating on me with. He was a dick. –sarahg44f760348

2.

I mean, he was talking to my best friend and they seemed in their own little world talking which I didn’t think twice about because we were sat in and group and then I look over and they were full on making out as if they forgot I was right next to them. I was like “?????? Hello???????” –maryj42b55b693

3.

I was on a job interview in Houston. When I got home my 2 step-sons and I had a bondingdate. During the day the littlest one was hugging me and I told him how much I loved him. He turned around and said that Jenna loved him and his brother bunches as well. When I asked who this person was he proceeded to tell me while I was gone she came to my home and spent the entire time there sleeping with their dad and holding a party with our friends. Needless to say, I called my in-laws told them the situation and turns out they knew about her. So I packed up they showed up I left with my clothes and a few personal items and filed for divorce the next day. –samantham4162a72e5

4.

I pulled up to my house after spending a night at my moms house after a fight with my now ex. I saw a strange car in the driveway. I stormed in and saw a pair of men’s shoes on the landing. I walked into my bedroom and they wereasleep in each other’s arms in our bed. And that’s how I found out my husband had a boyfriend. I threw the shoes at them and chased the boyfriend out of my house in his underwear. I moved out a week later and never looked back!! –tonig14

5.

My now ex-boyfriend was throwing me a birthday party at his place. I couldn’t find him when I got there so I decided to look around. He was on the couch MAKING OUT with another girl. He looked at me and tried to play it cool. What’s worse is that one of his friends was like, “oh have you met his girlfriend? She’s really cool.” I left immediately. He texted me for the next couple days and kept apologizing, but it was too late for me. –germsortiz

6.

He planned a trip before we had started dating, to go and visit his sister. When the date came around, I dropped him off at the airport and took care of his dog for the week. I got a message on Instagram from a girl I didn’t know, providing screenshot proof that he had been planning on seeing her during his trip, and had been sleeping with her the whole time. When I called to confront him, he had the nerve to call her crazy and denied it!! Until I read the screenshots to him. –hayleyr4ce138a6f

7.

My whole life I’ve had a terrible habit of, when I get annoyed with people, I say something pretty extreme to get a reaction (I’ve gotten better). When I was 23 I had been dating my college boyfriend so it was a bit long distance. He canceled weekend plans last minute so I said “it’s cause you’re cheating on me with your coworker.” He got annoyed, said he’ll see me in a couple hours and came. Turns out, I was right, and he drove 2 hours to find out how I knew. –courtneya8

8.

I was looking through my 5 year old daughters photos on her tablet and saw the nudes of another girl and screenshots of snaps and text messages (not to me). When I confronted my husband about it I was the one who got called “psycho.” –aliviar483ed01e3

9.

I answered his ringing phone after he came home blind drunk and passed out on the couch. She was surprised as he had told her we wereseparated. I was about 2 weeks away from giving birth at the time. –Sharimg

10.

He went binge drinking, called me after he sobered up and told me he couldn’t come home until the hickies cleared up. –acourterille

11.

We were at a mutual friends house hanging out with her and her boyfriend. He fell asleep and I heard his phone go off, I knew he’d been waiting for a text from his mom to ask her if he could stay in town another day so I checked it. It ended up being a text from a contact named “baby” saying “I know you’re cheating on me”. So I scrolled through their messages, it wasn’t just sex they had a while relationship where they would say they loved eachother. I got her number and texted her from my phone and explained the situation. They’d been dating a couple months (him and I had been together for a year) turns out the cheating she had been referring too was about another girl. There was 4 of us. All of our contact name were just different pet names “babygirl” “babe” “baby” and “cutie” –amynottage02

12.

We were only together for a couple months, but I was getting gas one day when I saw him in the car with a girl that had come up in conversation a couple times. I had his location, but I texted him to ask what he was up to and he lied. Anyway, his roommate ended up showing me condoms in his room, and when I confronted him, he admitted it and apologized profusely. The next day, i called him and she answered the phone then he grabbed it from her and had the nerve to insinuate I’m stalking him and trying to ruin his relationship with her! Bonus: a month or so later, she cheated on him, stole some of his money and just overall fucked him over so karma is a bitch I guess. –hosannay

13.

found a bloody pad in the garbage, wasn’t on my period and in fact i find it disgusting that he would have cheated on me with someone who’s on their period and am g l a d he’s gone. –jayapike

14.

He forgot his phone at home when he left for work one morning. I opened up his phone and there it was. He’d been communicating with two ugly girls for two months. When I confronted him about it, he said it wasn’t cheating because he never touched them even though he sent dick pics and they reciprocated. That’s still cheating. – hannahrosep46c525402

15.

I was with this a*hole of a guy, who on paper it look like the perfect gentleman, open the doors for me, texting me the whole time, taking me to beach days. One day after we went for a friend wedding one of the bridesmaid I met a week before she DM me on fb telling me this guy text her to go out with her, she told him he was an idiot and said no, when confront him he just told me mmm yeah and that was it. A month later another girl DM me on fb cursing me and telling me to get away from her bf, I talked with her and explaining what happened and I haven’t talked with him over a month,then she told me that she got his cellphone and it wasn’t just me who he was going out, there were 3 other women he was hooking up. I can’t still understand how he managed the time. –edithmolinal

16.

I heard him bragging on the phone about it. TO HIS MOM! –moniquee13

17.

this was in high school, and my bf and I had been together for a few months when this happened… we were watching tv and an ad for Indian Jones came on. I had mentioned I’d never seen any of them and he goes “oh yes you have! that was the movie that was on a couple weeks ago!” I insisted I didn’t remember and he starting going into details about what was going on during the movie (hint hint) trying to help me remember. I guess my face gave it away because he stopped mid sentence to say “oh shit… that wasn’t you…” –lindseyd42277ce55

18.

Surprised my ex by throwing a house party to celebrate his recent job promotion. Probably 80 of our friends were there. Drink after drink the night went on. Everything was going great until I couldn’t find my ex. Went downstairs to investigate and walked in on a 3 some between my ex boyfriend and my two best friends. Stood in the door way shocked, went upstairs and downed a bottle of vodka before leaving and never speaking to any of them again. Let’s just say my trust issues have never been the same. –Justine Mkayla

19.

We shared a bank account that i was only keeping afloat at the time to help support him through his new job/move to Philadelphia. I woke up one morning to an alert that 120 dollars was spent from our- better yet MY Chase account! I automatically go to check the IG page of this girl I noticed he recently started following. I see on her page that she had a date night at the place Chase said the card was used. I call him and blow up. He said he took himself out on my dime bc of stress. Oh word my dude? And you just so happened to jump in on home girl’s stories too?! You the worst kinda herb my dude. You the broke *ss dumb type of loser. Got my money back and deaded his whackness. –colleenw10

20.

I was a year out of high school and my boyfriend at the time was a senior in high school. We made plans to hang out one Saturday, but said he couldn’t because he was asked to go to Prom with some girl that came into his work. When I told him I didn’t think it was ok to go out with another girl while having a girlfriend, he said TO MY FACE, “I’m not a caged animal, It’s not my fault I’m so attractive.” He was so confident in himself that he continued to tell me how he was talking to THREE other girls while still dating me and told me “if I want this relationship to continue, I have to be ok with it”. UM BYE. –K8M517

21.

Was diagnosed with cancer and going through treatment. Went home early one day to surprise my husband. Walked in on him and our marriage counselor going at it. In our bed. While she wore my favorite pair of boots. Turnsout, my cancer was caused by HPV. He’d been cheating on me the entire 10 years we’d been together. –mollycasanovad

22.

We were in high school, and he had just turned 18. I was in the car with him on the way to his house when two cop cars pull up, tell him to get out of the car, and arrest him on the spot. I had no idea what was going on. A few days later I found out he was cheating on me. With a 15 year old. –aspitzzz

23.

He forgot I had him on Instagram and he posted a sonogram of a baby he was having with someone else. –allin18

h/t: BuzzFeed

These stories of cheating are incredible and outlandish, but they probably won’t be the last stories you read about cheating partners. Even with technology designed to catch a cheating husband or spouse, we humans still can’t resist the temptations and allure of new experiences with new partners. Sex wins every time!

25 People Reveal The One Moment That Caused Them To End Their Relationship

Breakups are hard to do, no matter when they happen in a relationship. Saying goodbye to someone you love can be a difficult experience. But, for many, there is no other option. There are many people who reach a point in relationships—a breaking point—that they cannot come back from. It changes theway they view their partner entirely and they can no longer stay in a healthy, loving relationship with that person. Recently, Reddit user u/bejeweledbanana asked users to share the tipping point of their relationship—what made them end it for good—and, some of these stories are insane.

1.

When my now ex-wife was arrested for having a sexual relationship with one of her female students…

Quiffco

2.

She started telling me how she had to defend me to my friends after I had to miss watching a show with themto go into work. My friends told me that wasn’t true and she spent the entire time shit talking me.

stressedinsocal

3.

She wouldn’t stop sleeping with her ex boyfriend and then decided to marry him. She told me this via text.

filthy_pikey

4.

He and I had this moment, lying on the bed, listening to some music, in my room, while the sun was setting, the city buzzing away below us, after a long day and I felt this wholesome feeling, like I knew where I belonged. And right then and there, he looks at me and said: “if you ever leave me, I’m gonna make your life a fucking hell.”

Guess I belonged far far away from him.

PumpkinLaserSpice

5.

I got tired of carrying her to bed after her nightly binge drinking. Also, her complete denial of being an alcoholic and refusing to get help.

Uglyeye

Why Finding Out Your ‘Person’ Doesn’t Feel The Same Feels Like Absolute Sh*t

There comes a time in everyone’s life when they fall in love with someone they feel like they can spend the rest of their lives with. While we go from relationship to relationship in life, experiencing the blissful beauty of falling in love, there comes a particular moment in your life when you fall in love with someone you truly consider to be “the one.”

You start to build a life with this person, planning things, including them in your everyday life and decisions, building a future with them, fantasizing about your life together—it all seems like everything is amazing, perfect, wonderful.

But, there are often times in life that the person you want to be “the one,” doesn’t exactly feel the same way about you. Now, this is not to say that they aren’t in love with you, or, that they don’t want to be with you. But, there are often times when you’re sure about someone, but, they’re not sure about you.

And, when you realize this, it feels like you got hit in the chest by an 18-wheeler.

Heartache.

What do you really do when you fall in love with someone and want them to be your “happily ever after,” but, they aren’t even sure of what they want in life? What if they decide they never want to get married, have children, start a family—what do you really do?

The decisions that you have to make as you get older and fall in love are terrifying. Sometimes, you have to make sacrifices and compromise, but, you should never sacrifice your happiness just to be with someone and live in their own comfort zone.

You may love this person – you may love them with every single inch of your being, but, if they cannot give you exactly what you need, you can start over, you can find someone else. Or, you can take a break from dating and reassess your needs and desires.

If you’re someone who needs a definitive timeline and answers, but your “person” can’t give you them, take a step back and think things through. Maybe, this person just cannot give you what you need and, if that’s the case, you need to face those facts. Maybe, after hearing this person doesn’t want those milestones, you decide maybe you don’t either and, you’d rather be with this person than be “married.” Maybe, you’re okay with waiting to see how things unfold. But, maybe, you don’t want to push aside your own needs to please someone else.

Whatever happens—whatever you do decide—remember that the most important person to listen to is yourself. Face the hard truths, the painful realities, and the heartbreaking decisions if you have to – because, staying with someone who cannot fulfill you will always leave you empty.

Screw You, Getting Attached To A Guy Doesn’t Make Me Weak

So, you meet a guy that you’re really vibing with. Modern dating websites and magazine articles will tell you that it’s all downhill from here. The minute that you feel something that may, down the line, lead to love—run for the hills.

For some reason in today’s society, the girl who feels too much, too soon into a relationship is the one who is prone to getting her heart shattered. Everyone will tell you that getting attached to someone—investing your time and efforts towards another person—will ultimately scare the said person away. They’ll think you want too much, too soon. They’ll stop calling, they’ll stop texting, the dates will become more infrequent in time before they completely stop altogether. So, if this is the solid truth in society—what’s a girl to really do when she feels something for someone? Act heartless and emotionally detached? Talk herself out of something that makes her feel alive?

Absolutely not.

Contrary to what many may tell you, becoming attached to someone is the furthest thing from weak. In fact, it means that you’re a pretty strong person – here’s why:

When you begin to invest your time and emotions into someone, it’s a pretty big step in life. I’m a firm believer that giving someone your time is more important than giving them anything else. The only thing we truly do have control over in our own lives is how we choose to spend our time. With life always being chaotic and hectic as we get older—working, seeing our families, seeing our friends, school, exams, going to the gym, watching our shows—it seems to happen that we have less and less free time available. When you decided to use those slivers of time you have with another person, it’s a big deal.

The more you invest your time in them, the more you’ll inevitably invest yourself and your emotions in them as well. When we fall in love with someone, it’s a universal truth that we begin to give ourselves to them – whether we mean to, or not. We start to include them as part of our lives, make them a priority in our decisions, our plans – our long-term future.

This moment, when we begin to let somebody into our world, takes the most strength. You’re opening up your safe-zone—your world—to somebody and trusting them not to break anything. You’re letting them into your heart and giving them the chance to hurt you—while trusting them not to.

Personally, I believe that takes more balls than it does to just walk away from someone you have potential with. If anything, society has it all wrong. Walking away from someone who can very well turn out to be one of the best things to ever happen to you in fear of being hurt is the ultimate definition of weak.

Sometimes in life, you have to take risks—blindly jump into the open abyss, unsure if whether you’ll fall or fly. Only the coward will watch from the sidelines, fearfully wondering “what if.” It takes a strong person to put themselves out there, not watching life happen but actually making it happen.

More from PizzaBottle:

21 Cheaters Reveal Their Reasons For Blowing Up Their Relationships

If you’re an adult, this should pretty much go without saying, but cheating is really one of the worst things you can do to someone with whom you’re in a relationship. And the worst thing about that worst thing is just how many people somehow don’t see cheating as a problem, or don’t see what they’re doing (cheating) as actually cheating.

Some people will say, “We only kissed, that’s not cheating!” as if everything is completely fine as long there’s no actual sex, which is a ridiculous assumption. Ugh, the whole thing is a mess of betrayal and lies leading to drama and pain. It’s almost enough to make you want to throw the towel in on dating altogether. But just almost. Come on. We’re human. We’re gonna keep going back for more.

There are so many factors that lead people to cheat—their upbringing (as in, the situation with their parents), their self-esteem, and how they ultimately feel about relationships, to name just a few. Also, some people are just kind of more selfish than others. And sneaky! But it truly is always the fault of the cheater and not the cheatee. The cheatee is in no way responsible for the behavior of the cheater, and the cheater blaming them for their own mistakes when they cheat is just adding insult to injury.

Here are 21 actual reasons people have given for why they cheated, as told by their exes.

1.

She said “My mom cheated on my dad when they first started dating.”

moneycomet

2.

“It’s not really cheating because I don’t love you anymore. I just think of you as a really good friend.”

8 years together, engaged to be married.

Indy_Pendant

3.

“We’re in an open relationship!”

Except we weren’t. The day before she asked if I would be open to one and I said let me think about it and we can talk tomorrow. The next day comes around and she said she has to go to a study session with one of her friends when i get home. I found out she was at a dick session when she was telling her best friend immediately after.

Trojanfatty

4.

“I dont understand American culture.” Was a pretty good one.

CaptainQuiz

5.

When confronted she just said “Well his dick was 30 cm, I just couldn’t resist touching it.” I really couldn’t think of an answer back then.

equ1n0xe

6.

“I’ve cheated with everyone I’ve ever been in a relationship with.”

Why would you not tell me that before we got into a relationship??

fatshambles

7.

“I wore a condom…technically, I didn’t even touch her!”

DwightFrank

8.

“I was testing you to see if you’d stay loyal even if I cheated.”

Juice_Campbell

9.

“It’s your fault, you drove me to it.”

Me: Taking care of our two kids <3y, working full time, bread winner, doing the household chores… so yeah, I was kind of angry/tired all the time

Him: working in ‘music’, going to concerts all the time and sleeping in.

Radio_Caroline79

10.

She said she wasn’t cheating, I got sent to me a picture of her (nudes) from the guy she was cheating on me with and he said, “look familiar”. When I confronted her about it she said those were old pictures and he was just trying to start shit. I was like hmm fair enough, then I realized that the pictures were literally taken in her dorm room that she had just moved into that year and I was standing in the same spot that she took them in as I was talking to her which made me realize, took me a second to realize that but yeah that sucked. Rough time for me on that one

12carrd

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