“Be That strong girl that everyone knew would make it through the worst, be that fearless girl, the one who would dare do anything, be that independent girl who didn’t need a man. Be the girl who never backed down.” -Taylor Swift
“The hard part is pretending not to give a f$ck when you really do. The worst part is trying to close your heart when it’s doors have been blown to pieces,” R.M Drake
You cannot convince someone to fall in love. It’s not a choice. It’s a feeling. It’s not that he doesn’t want to want you. He’s just not capable.
1. He says he doesn’t believe in relationships or love.
If he says this to your face, he’s doesn’t believe in the possibility of love or a relationship with you.
2. He says something along the lines of I guess I’ll see you whenever I see you when you’re saying goodbye to him after hanging out.
If he’s not eager to see you again, sometime soon, he’s got other things on his mind, and you’re probably not one of them.
3. You keep going over the little things in your head.
That one time he said how cute you looked when he picked you up. But then didn’t text you all weekend. And it seemed odd he didn’t get in touch when he supposedly stayed at home, bored the whole time…something just doesn’t add up.
4. He encourages you to pursue other guys.
He’s basically hinting that he wants to keep seeing other people freely. He’s trying to gently tell you that the two of you are not exclusive. He’s not worried about losing you to someone else.
I know you might not trust me yet. But when you question love, let me remind you that love hasn’t hurt you. It’s a person’s lack of love that has hurt you and caused you pain.
I hate that you’ve endured that but struggle makes you a better person. Pain makes you more human and getting through it has made you more beautiful in my eyes.
Right now, you just can’t find any sense of solace in a few words of encouragement.
Because you simply cannot comprehend how life can be so unfair. You loved passionately and intensely and in the blink of an eye, it all went to shit. You can’t accept it and absolutely nothing can ease the pain that you’re feeling right this second.
The memories that you built with him are all you can think about and the thought of him kissing you again literally consumes every second of your day. He’s all you ever wanted and you can’t fathom life without him. You wonder, how am I ever going to get him off my mind? How is my body ever going feel like he made me feel?
It’s a pressure in your chest that makes it almost impossible to hold back your tears. It’s brutal.
Sometimes it happens. Out of no where… You just fall in love. I never thought I would love again. But I did and I’m so glad I did. Eight months ago I was in the worst position possible. My children’s father was doing anything possible to get high. DSS was called.
I went from from hiding my kids in a closet to comfortably sleeping with them in a bed. I met the love of my life 6 months ago. It was my brothers friend. He turned into my best friend. I would do absolutely anything for him.
8 months ago I was living four hours away. Trapped in a situation I never believed I would be in. Four hours away from my whole family and all my friends. I had no one besides my kids. I was living with their father but I was still all alone. I was the only one providing. I would go on grocery trips alone with three kids, doctors appointments, and I was the only one who would take them to do anything.
It just wasn’t fair to me to be with a man who did absolutely nothing. I was never physically abused but I was definitely in some emotional torture. One morning I came to the realization that he always hid his pants from from the night before tucked under the bed. So I decided to pull out his pants pockets to see what he was hiding. A big bag of white powder. It looked like glass. I did some research on the internet and sure enough he had like 300 dollars worth of methamphetamine. We got kicked out of the house we were living in and moved in with his friend. Not even three weeks later DSS was knocking on our door. I was so afraid I told all the kids to get in the closet and we pretended we were not there.
The next few days of my life I lived in pure fear. I was completely sober its not ok for my kids to get taken from me when Im doing everything in my power to make sure my kids were safe, they were always fed and taken care of. I would be devastated even spending one day away from my kids. What if they got taken away? They would be traumatized. I would be traumatized. Four days later I made the call.. I had my aunt come pick us up and I haven’t been back since. A few days later I got a call from a correctional facility, he had been locked up.
On the way back to my hometown, I was so hurt. I kept thinking how much I was going to miss him, how much my kids were going to miss him. How heart broken they were going to be to no longer have their father in their lives. I kept thinking who would ever want a single mother with three kids.
We got home, got settled and life did move on even though I didn’t think it would. One day my brother and cousin and sister in law kept trying to get me to hang on with this guy that they knew really well. I had never met him, so I kept brushing it off. I didn’t want to meet someone and fall for someone who would just leave me or feel like my kids were a burden. I was starting to feel so lonely. The kids were driving me mad. My mom agreed to keep the kids one night so I could go out for the night and relax, just take a break.
I ended up at my brothers house with my brother and sister in law and a few friends. The guy that they had been trying to get me to hang out with had texted and asked what I was up to. Everyone kept telling me to just let him come over. Of course I said no. Then started thinking, why not? Maybe nothing would ever come of it, he would be the first guy I hung out with since leaving. Who cares if nothing came of it Id be ok, but I was just so nervous After a couple glasses of wine, to chill my nerve LOL I decided to text back. I told him where I was and asked if he wanted to hang out. It took him a few minutes to respond and my heart was pounding! He responded with, “I’m on the way.” I instantly regretted telling him to come over because I was so afraid and nervous.
When he texted me and asked me for the gate code I knew this was real. I was about to hang out with someone else for the first time in 6 years. I was so overwhelmed I locked myself in the room with the cat hahah! Took me about fifteen minutes to come out that room. I was so shy and my heart was beating in over drive. He was so smiley! So cute and oh so sweet. I was sure it was a front. He asked me to ride to the gas station with him so I did and we talked. We shared our first kiss that night! I will remember that kiss for the rest of my life. He was unlike any one I had ever met. But I was still sure it was just a front.
We went on a few dates after that night. He was so much fun, so kind, the type to open the door! Never had I met a guy to open the door for me. I started to fall, and fall hard. 6 months later this guy is my best friend. He is for sure the love of my life. The way he treats my kids is absolutely amazing. He takes us places, he buys them things, I get roses and least twice a month. He would never let us go without. I watched him dance with my kids at a wedding the other day, it was absolutely breath taking.
I know there are probably plenty of single mothers out there afraid to take a chance, afraid to love again, afraid to find them selves heart broken over and over again. Please, please don’t stay bottled up in your emotions. It may not work out the first time, or the second, or the tenth, but there are good men out there, I have one. My kids didn’t deserve the lives they use to live and neither did I. We deserve the life we are living now. No more hiding in closets, no more asking why Daddy dont love us. Now we have unconditional love!
He will never know how thankful I am for him. He will never know how happy I am he walked into our lives. He will never know how much I love him. Thank you. Thank you for everything. Thank you for being my best friend and the best father to our kids.
She held onto you for as long as she could, but she realized that she was giving way more than she was receiving.
She’s had enough and staying would have been a betrayal to her soul, so you gave her no choice but to walk away.
She waited for you to give her a reason to stay, to give her a smidgen of hope that you would change, but no, you had no intention to fight for her
You got too comfortable being loved by her without realizing that her needs were as important as yours.
You didn’t fight for her and the truth is, you’re going to regret it. You’re going to miss her like crazy. You’ll realize that letting her go was the dumbest thing you’ve ever done in your life.
You’re going to realize that she’s probably the only person in this world besides yourself that actually gets you.
You’re going to find yourself understanding how she had the ability to motivate you like no other and that it was with her that you were able to be the best version of yourself.
Because she was a selfless girl with a big heart who gave you more than you deserved. You took advantage of her until you sucked the life out of her. Shame on you.
You can be sure that when you least expect it, the memory of her is going to creep in and you will long for her loving touch and the way she looked at you.
Because she looked at you and made you feel relevant, it made you feel like you had potential. She made you feel loved and you never felt love like hers before. You’re going to miss all of her so much is going to drive you off the wall.
She will no longer be there for you and you’ll realize how much you actually need her in your life.
You’ll wish you would have appreciated her sooner, you’ll wish you hugged her and kissed her every time she spent the night sleeping next to you.
You’re going to miss how she always went out of the way to cater to your needs and make you happy. You were so used to her making you the center of her world, you didn’t realize how she was the only one around you making you a priority.
No one cares for you as much as she did and you know it. You’re going to feel it the most when you have no one to turn to when you need cheering or a simple pad in the back.
Her absence will be so painful it will punish you for every single time you did her wrong. You’ll ask yourself a million times why you couldn’t see how much she meant to you. There’s no going back, you lost your chance, she was the one for you and you let her slip away.
You’ll experience heartache for the first time and you will be the only one to blame for it.
Cheaters can only get away with their duplicitous behavior for so long; it always catches up to them. Google “cheaters always get caught” and check out the number of quotes attesting to this fact. And it’s becoming more and more true with each passing day. Technology has made it nearly impossible to be unfaithful in a relationship.
In fact, the most insane public cheating stories of the year were all made possible because of technology. As author Arthur C. Clarke once said, “Any sufficiently advanced technology is equivalent to magic.” I’d call getting out of a toxic relationship with a lying, cheating partner as quickly as possible pretty magical, wouldn’t you?
Over the summer, Twitter user @alexxiisj was standing in line at a taco stand when she overheard a guy bragging to his friend about how he was cheating on his girlfriend, a Dallas nursing student named Hannah.
dear Hannah the nursing student in Dallas, i heard ur bf @ the taco stand this morning, talking about how many times he’s cheated on u since he’s been back at baylor……… he’s trash. dump him.
23-year-old Kayla Speer of West Burlington, Iowa, found out her boyfriend was cheating on her after she ordered him a Jimmy John’s sandwich.
When I was placing my order to the @jimmyjohns employee I let them know that this was for my boyfriend who lived in that city and that I wouldn’t be present when the food was delivered since I’m 3 hours away. I also asked if it was okay for him to sign for me.
She let the delivery driver know that she wouldn’t be present, as she lived three hours away, and asked whether it was alright for her boyfriend to sign for the sandwich himself.
The order was placed & my bf had texted me a little bit before letting me know he was going to take a nap. So I sent him a text saying “hey, foods on the way for you. Please leave a tip.” I didn’t hear back from him for a bit, but I just assumed he was sleeping.
Though he didn’t initially respond when she let him know about the delivery, her boyfriend eventually responded by thanking her. Nothing out of the ordinary…until the Jimmy John’s delivery driver called Kayla.
The delivery driver continued by saying this…”look, we usually don’t do this, but I think you would like to know…when we walked up to the door to your bf’s place we were able to see into his apartment and he was in his boxers with a naked women on top of him on the couch??
The driver answered some questions that confirmed the man in question was indeed Kayla’s boyfriend. “[The driver] was like, ‘Honestly, it was so awkward I just wanted to get out of there, so I just gave him the sandwich and left,” she said.
Alls well that ends well, though. Jimmy John’s reached out to Kayla after her tweet went viral and offered to cater a “breakup party.”
KAYLA!! I’d love to cater your breakup party! Let me know when and where! Please DM me your address and contact info and I’ll make it happen! https://t.co/ogfNhqAIRj
Yulia Agranovych found out her husband was cheating on her after seeing the view from her own bedroom window on a random woman’s Instagram. Scrolling further down the woman’s Instagram, she found a selfie the woman had taken with Yulia’s husband Nazar Grynko captioned “Beautiful view from my husband’s bedroom.”
There were a ton of pictures of the two together on the woman’s Instagram page, but Nazar denied everything. He eventually admitted that he had been cheating, though maintained he’d never been “mentally unfaithful” because he had “told every girl he was married” (yes, there was more than one).
On the bright side, Yulia’s story inspired many others to leave their scumbag partners. “Many women supported me, posting that they were proud of my bravery, that I openly discussed it with irony and sarcasm, so now they are ready to get rid of their unfaithful men too,” she said.
And as for Vlada Abramovich, the woman Nazar had been cheating on Yulia with? She was utterly unapologetic, writing “She is his wife, not mine, what’s the problem? Is he just a vegetable without free will? Don’t make me laugh.” She’s got a point.
A man caught his wife cheating while navigating the street view function on Google Maps. According to Australian outlet News.com.au, he was using the app to check out vacation destinations in Peru when he spotted a woman wearing an eerily familiar outfit.
Scrolling through the Bridge of Sighs in Barranco, Peru, he saw the woman sitting on a bench, stroking a man’s hair as he reclines in her lap. Despite both their faces being blurred—as is customary when Google street view captures a person—he recognized his wife’s clothes and physical characteristics immediately.
Peruvian newspaper, La Cronica, reported that the wife admitted to cheating, and the couple recently divorced.
A woman named Jackie got caught cheating through a series of sexy texts. Jackie went on a business trip to Atlanta. Alone, or so her boyfriend thought. When she got to her hotel room, she sent her boyfriend a sext to show him just how much she missed him.
Everything seemed to be going fine until Jackie’s boyfriend spotted an unfamiliar striped suitcase in the corner of her sext.
When she realized her mistake, Jackie sent a more naked photo, which she captioned “LOL.”
Jackie gave her boyfriend her hotel room number as evidence. But instead of asking the hotel concierge to connect him to room 1422, Jackie’s boyfriend asked what room she was staying in. When her name didn’t come up, he instead asked for her boss, Tom.
Serves Jackie right for sending her boyfriend nudes while cheating on him with her boss in a different city.
I needed it to end before the memory of them was forever tainted. When you have a love this rare -it’s often hard to survive and even harder to create again.
I tried my hardest for this to end without our remaining love dying from the toxic shock of it all.
I understood my part in this, I even accepted most of the blame. He wasn’t toxic, I wasn’t either and our relationship didn’t start as such. It grew inside their love and latched onto every part of our souls until we became toxic for each other. It was fatal, and we knew that but I continued to be our life support until the very end.
Without each other, we were just functioning, but together we were alive.
It wasn’t self-destruction and I wasn’t addicted to him like a drug. In it’s simplest form it was us trying to find our way back to each other because when the love was there we were truly alive. We ignored the toxic bullshit because we focused on the hope that our future could be like their past.
But as time went on I could feel his hope for us dwindle and so I did what I could to make it easy for him to leave. He said goodbye and I cut myself out of his life because while I never thought I’d be able to move on, I wanted to give him the chance to.
Every late night call, every midday “just because” text and story to share – I fought the urge to contact him.
I fought every day to make it easier for him, I couldn’t be remembered as that girl who just couldn’t let go. But then the inevitable happened and I finally felt it all…and all at once.
He moved on and did nothing to consider myfeelings.
And it was in that moment, I realized I was still living my life for him- thinking of his needs even when I wasn’t any longer what he wanted- and so I said goodbye.
I stopped being numb to his pain. I felt the emotions until they broke my heart over and over again. I replayed the memories and what-ifs until I realized I was still drowning in our toxic relationship but no one else was there to save me.
Now I killed every part of it – the good, the bad, the ugly and moved on.
Love is hard. You can fall in love a million and one times, and for a million and one different reasons but no matter what, love only works once. It’s when you find your person that everything falls into place because when that happens, you can make it through anything together.
She thought you were her person because when she looked at you she could see her future when you hugged her she felt at home, and when you kissed her she felt what she’d been missing out with everyone else…she felt loved.
She was so willing to bet on you that she just dove head first into this. She gave you her heart without skipping a beat. She let go of any doubt and just simply let every ounce of her fall into you.
Because when it’s love and you’re so sure it’s the real deal, you don’t act logically and calculate every move. It’s not supposed to make sense, it’s just supposed to work as if it was always meant to be.
So when she thought you were it, she was sure you would catch her, and everything would fall into place. But it didn’t.
You didn’t catch her and nothing fell into place…it just fell apart faster than she could prepare herself for.
It’s a painful break to the heart to realize someone would rather watch you fall than catch you. It’s hard to swallow that rejection especially when you’ll never know why they didn’t want to commit to a love this big.
But for her, she could live with knowing you’d rather walk away than give this a real try. She could accept that you were a coward that couldn’t man up and handle this in a less devastating way.
What she couldn’t handle was the fact that she so strongly believed you were it, that you shared the same love and were on the same page. But, you were never committed to this.
She gave you all of her and only ever asked for the true, authentic you in return. Instead, you fed her with shallow gestures of a love from a perfect man, who’d rather pull on her heartstrings than have her heart.
Playing games, and only halfway committing to love is never going to work. It’s never going to be enough for a person who deserves more and knows what real love could be.
And she may have been a temporary game to you, but she knows she’ll be a forever love for someone else. It may have taken some time but she now sees you were just one of the millions and not the one in a million.
I’ve always been good at protecting my heart. Extremely selective on who I gave bits and pieces too and I always, always did my best to listen to logic over the pitter patters of my heart. And truthfully, I didn’t think it would be different with you.
I thought I could be around you, talk all day and night to you, and let you into my life without anything changing…without my heart-attaching to anything.
But I was wrong. I was wrong about it all, what I thought, how I felt…everything. I was even wrong about you.
I’ve escaped mediocre love before. I know what a toxic relationship looks like and I know my worth well enough to know when to walk away.
I’m not naive, I know how fragile a heart can be and I don’t risk a break for anyone.
That’s why I kept my guard up with you for so long, only giving you the layers I thought you could handle. I didn’t overthink this, I expected you to be like every other guy. But when you kept fighting to break down my wall and for a place in my heart, I started to think differently.
I started to believe in you because you, and only you, gave me a reason to. I didn’t need you to make feel special, but you did. I didn’t need you to lift me up when I struggled with my inner demons, but you did. I was scared to dive into such a big love, but you told me you were my safety net.
I wasn’t naive. I wasn’t stupid. I wasn’t overthinking anything.
Whatever you said, I took verbatim. Whatever you did, I believed in faithfully. I had no reason to. You were loving me in a way no one else has before. There were no narcissistic red flags, and this didn’t feel toxic. This felt so real that when you ended it, I was completely blindsided.
You gave me a love I’ve never felt before and then you gave me a feeling of complete hopelessness. It was the hardest fall and I don’t blame you for not catching me. It’s life, it’s the risk of finding love and I’m proud of myself for giving love a chance.
I won’t ever forget what we had. And I want you to know I won’t ever forgive you. I never have and I never will blame you for this not working, because I can’t hold it against you for not wanting this. But I will never forgive you for how you handle this.
You went from making me feel like everything to absolutely nothing.
You knew full well the effect you had on me, my heart and my world and you didn’t have the decency to show a touch of compassion. You walked away so fast and easily, you didn’t even see my heart break to pieces.
You didn’t have to love me for the rest of your life if that’s not what you felt. You didn’t have to apologize for putting your needs and wants first. But you could have been a better man. You could have at least acted like what we had meant something more than just a fleeting moment.
