The Struggle Of Trying To Forget Someone You Truly Love

When a love so intense and pure blooms in your heart, you can never make it disappear out of existence when the relationship ends. Love’s a force that is so powerful that it could never be extinguished. You can tame your heart from yearning for what you’ve lost, but you can never truly erase the impact that loving so intensely has on your heart and soul.  

You should come to terms with the fact that forgetting someone you love is only possible if your love was never unconditional. 

But you loved passionately and intensely, so all you can really do is try to compromise with your heart on how you’ll begin to live with the memories that he left behind; the sound of his voice and how amazing it felt when he caressed your hair.

He ignited all your senses, so it’s almost as if the DNA of his soul has made its way through yours and found a forever home.

You can try to be practical with your feelings towards that person and negotiate with your heart on how much thinking about the past can be detrimental to your heart.

It won’t happen overnight, but one day soon, you’ll begin to notice that the thought of him doesn’t sting anymore.

Because the truth is, the past stays in the past, the good and bad. As much as it might hurt, even if he was the most amazing person your soul has ever come to known, he was just a chapter in your life.

Coping with the pain every time the memory of him lurks in is all you can do because forgetting the love that you shared is futile.

Right now the love that lives in your heart is more powerful than any logic that you might want to inject to your overthinking mind so that you can stop the pain.

Rational thinking has no place in how your emotions work, especially in those days you miss him most.

You might fear that you will never be able to live without the pressure on your chest that makes you hold your breath at the thought of him, screaming for one last kiss.

But closure is not something you will find outside of yourself. It will not come from him, it will happen when you choose to let your emotions run its natural course, pain and all. So be strong and patient with your heart.

You will be able to live without him and with the memory of what you had. He was not meant to be your forever, even if you think that no one else will be able to see right through you as he did.

The truth is, the love you have for him and all the memories that you’ve built are eternal but the pain of losing him is not.

You will move on and you’ll be able to see the big picture. Embrace where you are with your feelings right now. Those feelings are just an indication of your ability to love, so don’t let them break you.

Instead, let your ability to love to show you how much you can grow from loving and losing him. Because in the end, your heart is big enough to love as many times as you possibly can and to hold all those memories in a special place in your heart forever.

No Parents, No Joke: Why ‘Daddy Issues’ Aren’t Funny

We’re a part of a generation who is heavy set on the “blame-game.” We have become dependent on placing negative attention elsewhere. For example, a student fails a test? Obviously, it’s the teacher’s fault. Did you cheat on your ex? She made you mad and you were vulnerable that night. A girl who sleeps around? Apparently, she’s looking for love in all the wrong places. (Chill. Maybe she just enjoys sex. Guys don’t get questioned about it, so why should she?)

But there’s one comment that tags along with this and it never fails to make my blood boil – this is what happens when your dad doesn’t love you. I see picture after picture of young girls doing promiscuous things and the captions are always something along the lines of when your dad doesn’t love you enough, or thank you to all the dead-beat dads. Since when was this a matter worth joking about? Lacking sufficient parental guidance is funny nowadays?

There is an abundance of statistics involving the long-term effects that paternal neglect could have on a child, specifically in this case, a daughter. Father involvement provides females with positive male/female relationships and increased self-respect. One study done on women in their early 20’s shows that “participants expressed difficulties forming healthy relationships with men and they associated these difficulties with their experiences of father absence,” while another study shows that a girl who portrays a higher involvement with her father is less likely to partake in sexual activities before the age of 16.

We need to realize that paternal issues affect men just as much as they affect women. Jokes are always promoting the sexualizing of girls with “daddy issues,” but we neglect to realize that boys without father figures are just as likely to develop certain issues; socially, behaviorally, and emotionally. According to a survey reported by the U.S Census Bureau, “24 million children in America – one out of every three – live in biological father-absent homes.” 1/3 of children grow up without a father. One in three. This DOES NOT exclude boys. Boys with non-active/abusive fathers grow to be more hostile, and more prone to juvenile incarceration. But you don’t see anyone looking at an incarcerated teenager and think “thank god for the dead-beat dads,” do you? No. Because it doesn’t get you laid. And if it gets you laid, I guess it’s okay to joke about.

It’s sad how little we try to sympathize, and how quickly we joke about something that affects people’s lives forever. “Daddy issues” are serious and should never be the joke of slut-shaming. Why, do you ask? Let me explain.

Number 1 – Just because someone is sexually active doesn’t mean she has parental problems underlying her free choice to accept and explore the intimate side of her humanity.

Number 2 – If someone DOES have parental problems, why do we feel the need to judge? I’m sure none of us would want memes portraying our personal problems.

Number 3 – Try to imagine yourself attempting to fill a void, and wind up being the brunt of a joke that took over the generation. It’s not that funny anymore, is it?

Let’s get serious – there’s nothing funny about a broken home. I’m sure this era can survive with some other form of ill-mannered humor. It’s time to put the insensitivity behind us.

This article originally appeared on Unwritten.

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