In your 20s and 30s, you’re going to go through a lot of changes and trials – it’s only natural. You’re growing up, you’re moving out, you’re falling in and out of love and you’re trying to find your place in this messed up place we call “the world.” Inevitably, you’re going to be faced with a lot of challenges that hit you in the face like a brick – they hurt, they’re painful and sometimes you have no idea how to deal with them. Recently, I’ve been going through most of these myself and, I’ve been dealing with them the absolute wrong way. Wrong, in the sense that the way in which I deal with them helps no one – especially myself.
My sister, who is way more experienced in life and chock-full of more wisdom than a fortune cookie, gave me some pretty solid advice after I ran to her apartment in tears over my latest f*ck up. After I had finally relaxed and vented my guts up, she told me about something called the “5×5 rule.”
If it’s not going to matter in 5 years, don’t spend more than 5 minutes upset about it.
Now, it may sound pretty cliché and “typical” for someone to give advice like this, and, it seems like a cheesy quote pulled from Pinterest (because it was), but, this rule is actually pretty damn effective if you apply it in the long run.
1. It will help you find perspective.
If you’re like me, you get emotional at the sight of a problem or argument in your life – with friends, family or relationships. I always get pretty upset in arguments with my boyfriend and my friends, so much so that it clouds my judgment and I act out. I say things I don’t mean, sometimes I do things I shouldn’t. If you think about the situation at hand and ask yourself “will this really matter to me later,” it can give you the perspective you need to chill out and just breathe.
2. There are better ways to handle things.
Instead of screaming or fighting with someone over something that may not be as big of a deal as you think, you can realize that this issue is something that can be easily worked out. Knowing it’s not a make-or-break problem can help you ease into a conversation, rather than having a blow-out fight.
3. Some things don’t deserve your attention.
Petty drama and stupid mishaps don’t require your attention. Know when things are “worth it” and things aren’t. And, if someone repeatedly does the same thing over and over again, know when you should do something about it.
4. You’ll realize the bigger problems much earlier on.
Once you implement the 5×5 rule, you’ll start seeing things a lot clearer – especially your problems. In whatever relationship, whether it’s a friendship or romantic relationship, you’ll know what problems are actually problems. And, when the time comes, you’ll know what needs to be done.
5. You’ll be a much happier person.
Overall, when you learn to manage your reactions to things, you’ll become a happier person. Long gone are the days when little things bothered you all of the time, you felt slighted or upset by other people and you were walking around with an angry cloud over your head. Instead, you’ll see things in the long-run and how the pettiness of today will not matter in 5 years, so why waste the now?