9 Things You Should Know Before Moving In With Your Boyfriend

Sometimes in long-term relationships, there comes a point where a couple discusses taking that next step from “just dating” to “moving in together.” While it seems like a natural progression in any relationship, it’s actually a huge step to take as a couple. Sure, you may think it’s not such a big deal when the two of you spend every other night at each other’s own apartments anyway, but sleeping at someone’s apartment and actually sharing an apartment together are completely different things – trust me. While moving in may seem like an adorable and magical idea – playing “house” always makes every girl excited and happy – it’s a big f*cking deal, especially if there are things you’re unsure about or questions you don’t exactly have the answers to.

1. Make sure it’s something you both want to do.

Everyone feels as though it’s natural to move in together when you are a long term couple and you’re a certain age (in your mid-20’s/early-30’s). And, while it is a normal step to take in many relationships, you want to make sure that you and your partner are both happy and comfortable with the idea of living together. If one person is more into it and the other isn’t ready – don’t f*cking do it. You both need to be ready to take this step together because if one person isn’t ready, resentment will grow and your relationship will suffer because of it. I know a lot of couples who broke up after moving in together because they just weren’t ready or at that stage in their relationship to do so.

2. Make sure you’re doing it for the same reasons.

If you’re moving in with someone because you want to build a life with them, but they’re moving in with you because it’s financially convenient for them – it’s going to create tension. Make sure you discuss your intentions before you move in together. Make sure that you’re both on the same page and understand what living together really means. It’s not the same as just dating someone and staying over their apartment, you two are no cohabitating which means what’s yours is theirs and vice versa. You don’t want to have false expectations and hope and create conflict because you were both unclear of what you want.

3. Talk about finances, no matter how weird it may get.

When you move in with someone, your finances are now up front and important in your relationship. Most people will tell you not to discuss money with your partner unless you’re married, but, if you’re living together – everything matters in terms of money. And, it’s more than just rent. You’re going to paying for rent together, electric, cable, internet, food, furniture – everything you want to put in this apartment will be both of yours, not just yours or theirs. If your partner is financially irresponsible, that’s a big consideration you need to weigh before moving in. If you make more than your partner, that’s also something to think about. You don’t ever want to be stuck paying for 90% of the things in your apartment and your partner mooches off of your financial well-being, you’ll begin to get angry and resentful and will end up blowing up on them about it. The best thing you can do is discuss how to split things and make a schedule for things such as laundry, groceries and other necessities.

10 Signs You’re Way Too Good For The Person You’re Dating

Your friends tell you, your parents tell you—sh*t, even their friends say something to you about it. There comes a time in some relationships where everyone starts telling you that you’re way too good for the person you’re dating. While I’m never one to say that you should believe when people tell you things about your relationship when they’re not involved in it—there are some key moments in your life where people are doing you more good than harm. If you’re constantly fighting with yourself to decide if the person you are with is “good” for you, there may be a bigger picture problem that you’re ignoring completely.

 

If you’re the one who is constantly going out of your way, giving 100% when they give maybe 45%, the one reaching out, the one making plans, the one who calls/texts first – there could be a very, very big reason. You may just be too good for the person you’re currently dating.

 

1. The people who know you best think you deserve better.

While you may not want to believe everything other people say about your own, personal life – the people who know you best are only going to want what’s best for you. If they’re telling you that you deserve better, finding reasons for you to leave the person you’re with – there could be a very good reason for it. They want you to be happy and also want you to be treated the way in which you deserve. Maybe you need to wake up and smell the coffee of the reality of things, no matter how much you love someone, they may not be the best person for you.

 

 

2. The person you’re with is jealous, insecure or always picking fights.

If you’re the type of person who allows your significant other to have freedom and independence, but they don’t reciprocate, it’s a big red flag. Jealousy and insecurity at times can be something to manage and work on in a relationship, but if someone is unwilling to change, you can’t force them. You can’t be allowing someone to have their freedom but be forbidden to do things, say things or wear things that you want at someone else’s expense. Don’t let someone stomp all over you, who you are and what you bring to the table.

 

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